Funny Flanna Quotes

Flanna and her Aunt Jessica

First of all, thank you for all the love and kind words about my sweet little client.  You guys are the best!

Second, please forgive me if I am incoherent while writing this.  Flannery has been sick, and so I've not slept well in at least 3 days.  Last night was the worst--she had a really high fever that got scary in the wee hours of the morning.  I took her to the pediatrician this morning, who diagnosed her with a sinus infection, which I am not sure is right, but hey, who am I to judge?  At least she gave Flanna a prescription.

Anyway, the good thing about having a sick child is that I had a chance to hang out with her all day and to listen to her adorable stories and comments while not:  a) driving or b) cooking dinner (which is what I'm normally doing when she says adorable things, and then I don't have the extra hands to write them down.)  Today, though, I tried to remember to write down some of the hits.  And there were many:

1.  While trying to wiggle her top tooth (which is not at all loose) :  "Mom, I can't wait to lose a tooth.  Because then I'll get money to buy toys with.  But not this one, not this razor tooth (pointing to her canine).  When I lose this baby, I'm keeping it, because it's really cool and pointy."

2.  Telling a story about a sick princess:  "Then, the doctor said to the princess, "Princess, you have appetitis!  And you need to take this medicine to cure it!"  So the princess took the medicine every day at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and then her appetitis went away." 

3.   Continuing her story about a sick princess:  "The princess's friend, a dolphin, swailed over from his island. " 
me:  "Swailed?  Do you mean sailed?"
Flanna:  "No, mom.  Suh-wailed.  Swailed.  It's a type of swimming dolphins do.  Anyway, he swailed over from his island and came to see the princess."
(She almost had me convinced that swailing was possibly a real thing.  Turns out, it is.  But it doesn't mean swimming.)

4.  Chatting about the pizza we were having for lunch:  "P.P.S., mom, I only want cheese on mine." 

5.  Getting ready for bed, she opens her closet door:  "I need to pick out my party dress for tomorrow."
me:  "Flannery, you're staying home sick tomorrow with Grandma."
Flannery:  "Well, yeah, but I'm watching Beauty and the Beast, so I need to wear my party dress."

6.  Making a list of people to invite to her birthday party (which is not for 8 more months, mind you):  Flanna:  "Guess who I'm inviting to my party, mom?"
me: "all your cousins?"
Flanna:  "No.  Well, yes, them, but also--worms!  I'm inviting worms to my party!  Because I love worms, you know that."

7.  In the bathtub:
Flanna:  "Mom, who owns America?"
Me:  "No one does, sweetie.  We all own little bits of land, but no one person owns America."
Flanna:  "But what about the President?"
Me:  "Well, he owns his own house and land, but not everyone else's."
Flanna:  "No, really, mom, who owns America?"

8.  Snuggling before bed:
Flanna:  "When you get to heaven, you're going to have to ask God to make your hair red again."
Me:  "Why?"
Flanna:  "So I'll recognize you when I get there.  That's how I recognize you, is by your hair."

9.  Getting pajamas on:
Flanna:  "Mom, how do we make slime?"
Me:  "huh?"
Flanna:  "You know, mucus?"
Me:  "Oh, I'm not sure.  I'll have to look that up."

10.  Setting up her DVD player with her Beauty & the Beast movie this morning:
me:  "Sweetie, let's set you up so you can watch the movie in your bed instead of on the floor."
Flanna:  "But mom, I can't dance on the bed."
me:  "Well, yes, but you don't usually dance while you watch movies, right?"
Flanna:  "But this time, I'm going to dance.  The whole time."

11.  As we drove past a city bus on the way to get her prescription  (OK, so I was driving for this one, but amazingly, I remembered it anyway!): 
 "When I grow up, I'm going to be a bus driver.  And people will have to call me "Your Highness" when they get on the bus.  I'll be a princess-artist-bus-driver.  And when I'm done driving the bus, I'll park it at home, and will go inside and do my art."

12.  Reading a story about Jonah & the Whale:
me:  "Then the whale spat Jonah out of his mouth onto the beach.  And the next time God asked Jonah to go to Ninevah, he obeyed God and went."
Flanna:  "But I think he still didn't want to.  Look at his face."
(and she was right--the illustration showed a pretty reluctant Jonah--I think I just changed the subject-- Not sure what to say to that!?)

13.  Looking at an illustration of the solar system in a book:  "I don't think stars are really white.  The people who drew these pictures must not have known that real stars are rainbow colors."  (I actually did look that one up.  And you know what?  She's right!)

 So, there you go, folks.  A glimpse into everyday conversation with Flanna Banana.  If only I always had my pen at the ready...her creative little brain is always coming up with interesting ways to look at the world.  



What made you smile or laugh today? 

Funny Flanna Quotes

1.  On Mothers' Day:  "Mom, when's it gonna be kids' day?"

2.  At the doctor's office; the doctor asks her what she's going to be when she grows up, and she says,  "A princess."

3.  Upon hearing a song we used to sing her as a baby, but that she probably hadn't heard in several years:  "Wow!  I haven't heard this song in like, 18 days!!"

4.  Waking up on the morning of her half birthday:  "Today's the day!  That's right, four and a hay-ulf!"

5.  To Robi:  "Tell me a secret.  I promise not to tell anyone!"  After Robi tells her a secret, she says, "OK, tell me again, so I can tell mommy!"
Robi:  But it's a secret!
Flanna:  That's ok, mommy won't tell anyone!
Robi:  OK, you can tell her.
Flanna:  OK, whisper it in my ear.
Robi:  But I just told you.
Flanna:  Oh, well, I forgot.
Robi:  You really are the best secret keeper around!

6.  After painting a princess picture to hang in her room:  "We have GOT to show this to Dana!" (our friend who's an artist)




What made you laugh today?

Funny Flanna Quotes

Listening to her new Tangled (Rapunzel) soundtrack as we snuggled at bedtime:
"Mom, can I get out of bed for a minute? Because I just HAVE to dance to this song."

Flanna:  "Mom, was I white when I was born?"
Me:  "You mean your skin?"
Flanna:  "Yeah."
Me:  "Yes, you've always had white skin."
Flanna:  "Then why didn't you name me blanco?"

Dancing to the Tangled soundtrack:
"This is my pony dance.  It's a dance for slow and beautiful songs."

Cuddling before bedtime:
Flanna:  How do we know there are gold streets in heaven?
Me:  Well, we don't really know for sure.  We just take our ideas of it from the people who wrote the Bible.
Flanna:  But how do they know?  Did they die and go to heaven and come back?
Me:  No, I don't think so.  I think God just told them.
Flanna:  How did He tell them?
Me:  Sometimes God talks to people.  Do you ever hear God talk to you?
Flanna:  No.  He just listens to me.
Me:  He listens when you pray, yeah.
Flanna:  And He listens when I make a wish.
Me:  Oh, that too, yeah.
Flanna:  (whispering) But one time, I wished for a unicorn.  And God didn't give it to me.
Me:  Oh, you wanted a unicorn?
Flanna: Yeah, to ride to school on.  So you wouldn't have to walk me.  I could just go by myself, and then it could ride back with me after school and I could be home when you get home. 
Me:  Wow, that would be neat.  Well, maybe God won't give you a unicorn now, but maybe it will be waiting for you up in heaven with your mansion. 
Flanna:  Yeah, but it would be fun to ride it to school now. 

(That last conversation just happened as I put Flannery to bed.  Otherwise, I never would've remembered the whole thing.  That kid is such a thinker.  I just love her.)


What made you laugh this week?

Funny Flanna Quotes: Travel Edition

Flannery with great grandmother Mema (and Annie dog!)

Last week, we traveled down South during my spring break so I could interview for jobs in Atlanta.  Flanna came with me, and we got to visit with family and friends, too.  It was so nice to get to spend some extended time with her, and I jotted down several cute quotes during the week. 

While trying to tie her shoes:  "I wish kids knew how to tie, and adults didn't." 

After telling me that she loved her cousins and friends so much:  "But I love myself and you and daddy the most."

Riding in the car:  "If you had eleventy hundred dollars, you could go to the moon."

This one was from my niece, not Flanna:   After reading a magazine cover that said, "How to Say NO to Your Kids," my niece looked up at me, furrowed her eyebrows, and said, "That's easy.  You just say, no!"

After a walk on April Fools Day with her cousin, Flanna said:  "Mom, while we were walking down to the mudhole, we saw a black bear!!     ...April fools!!"



What made you laugh this weekend?

Funny Flanna Quotes

Flanna:  Ouch!  I stubbed my thumb toe.
Me:  Actually, that's just called your "big" toe, not your "thumb" toe.
Flanna:  Well, I call it my thumb toe.

Driving in the car:  "What's a boy princess called again?"

Watching soccer with her dad, a Proactiv commercial came on.  I walked into the room, and Flanna said, "Did you know if you buy that stuff, it'll make red dots on your face go away?"  (Even 4 year olds aren't immune to TV marketing!)

Washing off paint from her hands:  "Sometimes, I color brown marker on my skin, and pretend I grew a new freckle."


Whose sense of humor do you enjoy regularly?  I'm lucky to get to live with two hilarious folks.  They really help me lighten up.  



On an unrelated but delicious note:  My gluten-free vegan friends preparing for Lent will be thrilled to try out this recipe I just rediscovered today, for Yummy vegan blueberry crunch cake (no wheat, no dairy, no soy, no egg, can you believe it?).

A Few Funny Flanna Quotes

After I told her I'd be right back, and got sidetracked responding to an e-mail:
"Mommy, that's not being right back."

When I was sick, she told me to rub Vicks on my chest and back.  Then she said, "I know how to take care of you, cause you take care of me."

And this one was not Flanna, but a friend of mine's daughter (2 1/2 yrs old) was visiting her grandparents when when her grandpa got back from working out and went to change his clothes.  She asked, "Whatcha doin?"  He said, "changing clothes."  To which she responded, "You wet youself?"


Sometimes I wish my dogs could talk, because I'm sure they'd say stuff this cute all the time.  Tonight, they're just staring at me with sleepy eyes, and I bet they're wishing I'd head to bed ASAP so they can get their sleep on.

Funny Flanna Quotes

We were looking at the map of the US, and I mentioned that our family was in lots of different states.  Then Flanna held out her arms to hug me and said, "This part of your family is here!"

Snuggling before bed:  "When you have a baby in your belly one day, I think we should name her Lee Flannery Ragan."

Laughing at a joke, with a hoarse voice:  "This is my croup laugh!"

Talking about how in heaven everyone gets a mansion:
"I want a princess castle instead."

We were playing Barbies, and Flanna pretended that her Barbie's baby slept through a Christmas party, then leaned over to me as if sharing secret wisdom, and whispered,  "Babies are really boring."   

Also playing Barbies:  "Belle is going to adopt Rapunzel's baby. That's how she's gonna be a mom."

"If you put your contacts on AND your glasses, you could see really good."

Having a tea party:  "I putted a lot of sugar in my tea, and now it's just sugar."

Finding the silver lining in her illness:  "Popsicles are good for breakfast when you're sick."

After making homemade lemonade with her dad:  "Try this lemonade.  It makes your cheeks feel fluffy."






What made you laugh today?

Funny Flanna Quotes

Showing her the initials engraved on my class ring:
Flanna:  "When I grow up, I want my name to be T.J."

This one was said by one of Flanna's little friends (walking to the park in the snow):
"I know a song about slipping-- I'm slipping, I'm slipping, I'm slipping, slipping on iiiiiiii-iiice."  (It sounded kind of punk...wish I had recorded it!)

Holding her friend's hand crossing the street:
"Hold my hand.  I don't want you to get hurt by a car, so I'll keep you safe."

After her friend had a potty-related accident:
"She was embarrassed.  She thought we wouldn't love her anymore.  But that's ok, accidents happen."

Doing yoga:
"If I'm ever sick and dying, I can just touch the edge of Jesus' clothes, and I'll get better."  (We had listened to that story earlier in the day.)

Me:  "I'm going to take the Christmas tree down this weekend." (Ahem, um, this was several weeks ago. Cough.)
Flanna:  "Nooooo!  Can't we just leave it up?  Because it looks so nice!"

Me:  "So daddy's 34 now!  What do you think you'll look like when you're 34?"
Flanna:  "I'll wear princess dresses."
Me:  "Oh, that will be lovely.  Do you think you'll have a job then?  Like a doctor or a vet?"
Flanna:  "I'll be a vet.  And I'll wear princess dresses."
(Of course.  Every vet does her best work in a ball gown.)


What made you laugh today?

Funny Flanna Quotes

I was telling Flanna and her cousin their "3 Things" for the day (3 great things they did that showed good character that day), and Flannery remembered that she had left her drink in the other room, so she said, "Mama, can you put a bookmark in your mouth for a minute?"

I was telling Flannery the story of the 3 Little Pigs, when she had to go to the restroom, so she said, "Mama, can you pause your brain?"

I was so excited that Flannery had just read a few words in our book like "mom," "pop," and "hot," and I said:  "Wow, Flannery, you can read, sweetie!  How cool!" to which she replied, "Well, I can only read little words, but 'cept for 'Flannery'--that's a long one."   (Poor thing--it is long!)

Talking about how her dad is at a conference in New Orleans:
"Why do they call it New Orleans?  What's a old Orleans?"

Flannery looked sad a few days ago in the morning.  I asked her what was wrong.  She said,
"Hmmph.  I'm never gonna be a big sister." (crossing her arms across her chest)
Me:  What makes you say that?
Flanna:  "I prayed to God yesternight for a little sister, and it didn't happen." 
(Sigh.  Doesn't that just break your heart?  We're just not ready to try for siblings yet, but that sweet kid is planting the seeds in our hearts. And "yesternight" is one we hear a lot!)

In the bathtub:
"Mom, why do humans always have to breathe?  Why can't we be made to just, not breathe, instead?"


What made you laugh this week?

Funny Flanna Quotes - holiday edition

Getting ready to brush her teeth, "Bears don't mean to eat you--it was a accident."

Flanna to my 34 year old sister:  "When did you get married?"
My sis:  "I didn't."
Flanna:  "Oh, so you're a teenager?"

Whispering to me on the way to the restroom:  "Shhhh.... I'm a secret puppy."

Waking up on Christmas morning:  "Mom, did Santa come?"
Me:  "Yeah, I think so, let's go look!"
Flanna:  (indignant)  "But I didn't hear him?---I didn't see Rudolph?"

To her cousin while they were playing with the Cabbage Patch Kids I gave her that used to be mine when I was a kid:  "Do you know these are old fashioned toys?"

Listening intently to the priest's sermon:  "What's the government?"

As we were preparing for our evening Christmas prayers:   "Mom, I want to say a special Christmas prayer that God will give me twins--a brother and a sister--in November when I turn 5."    (We did include that special petition in our family prayer time...too cute!)

After our fifty-seventh (Okay, fourth or fifth) holiday family get-together:  "I have SO many cousins!"

Holding up her Baby Alive that she got for Xmas:  "Poppa, was I as cute as this baby when I was born?"

This last quote was my cousin's son Neil (I guess that makes him my 2nd cousin?? or 3rd??):
As Flanna showed him the aforementioned old fashioned Cabbage Patch Kids, I said, "These dolls are probably...hmmmm...20 years old, or maybe even..."
Neil:  "Maybe even a hundred!"



What made you laugh today?

My Little Artist

On Friday, my daughter brought home a gazillion scraps of paper that she cut, stapled (yes, they let the children use staplers! by themselves! at her school--eegads!), painted, hole-punched, and sewed (and needles, too!--can you tell it's a montessori yet!?) in her "Friday Folder."  As I poured the contents of her folder onto the top of the dryer, as is my custom, these 4 amazing crumpled masterpieces emerged alongside the glitter and paper bits.

Seriously, masterpieces.  I have no words.  (OK, except for the captions I've so wittily typed up.)

Flannery said:  It's the sun, the earff, and those orange things are stars.  And then Oscar wrote that purple line on it, and the teacher said, "Class, we only write on our OWN papers."

Flannery drew Ariel (the little mermaid), although she says her teacher helped with the tail.    I love the hair. 

This one was for me, as you can tell, since Flanna wrote my name just as I remember writing it as a kid-- "t t"  :)
Can you tell the kids are on a see-saw? 

Flannery said, "That's a wanebow, and those kids are sliding up and down it."  Of course.
I'm in awe of the new open mouths she's drawing now.
These stick figures are chatty, not just smug line smilers anymore.  

What piece of art brought you joy this week?

Funny Flanna Quotes

Painting:  "You know what I just noticed?  When you smoke a cigarette, it makes you really old."  (? not sure where this came from?)

Seeing a friend at a birthday party who used to go to preschool with her until this August, "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you in YEARS!"

Reading a book about Jesus' birth:  "I want to go to heaven.  But I don't want to die to get there.  I want to fly there in a rocket, past outer space."

After the Nutcracker, to the ballet dancer in a silver wig, "You have hair like my daddy."   Poor daddy.

Walking down the sidewalk in the rain, trying to avoid muddy patches,  "Mud is even dirtier than dirt!"

"You can't eat cinnamon straight.  It tastes yucky.  But you can eat sugar straight."  A child after her daddy's heart.

Getting ready for bed, "Soon, it's gonna be Jesus' birthday!  How old is he gonna be?"
Me:  Um, I think about 2 thousand forty something.
Flanna:  "Well, I think he's gonna be one year old, mama.  He's baby Jesus."

Correcting me when I miss a word in her favorite Rapunzel book, which she pretty much has memorized,  "Mama, do you have your contacts in?"

Playing on the playground when I come to pick her up from school, "Hey mom, we're playing pretend, and I'm the teenager.  But not a pretend teenager.  I'm really a teenager!"
Sometimes I'd believe that last one.



What made you laugh today?

The Years Are Short

Oh, my.

Four!

Is. So. Big.

I don't know where the time has gone. The days are long, but the years are short.

I'm trying to soak up every sweet second with this amazing little four year old person.

Walking in the parking lot yesterday, she said, "Mom, you don't have to hold my hand anymore, remember? I'm four!" I told her the rule is that you hold hands until you're twelve.

I'm reeeeally not ready for twelve. Good thing I've got some time.




How do you try to soak up the moments with your family and friends?

Funny Flanna Quotes

Remembering how we used to sing "You are My Sunshine" and "ABCs" every night when she was tiny,
"Can we do that again? Mom, can you put a bookmark in your head so you can remember that?"

Looking at an icon of the Dormition of the Theotokos, pointing to halos around Jesus & Mary's heads,
"Why do they have helmets on their heads?"

Holding a lock of her hair that we just trimmed,
"Mom, can you put this in my baby book so one day when my hair changes color, we can look at it?"

Talking about the shirts I bought for her and her cousin to wear to her birthday party this weekend,
Flanna: "Is it a dress?"
Me: "No, they're just sparkly shirts. But we can let you wear a skirt with it."
Flanna: "But, mom, that's not a dress. I have to look willy willy pretty."

Saying goodnight at bedtime,
Flanna: "Night night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite--Bedbugs are real! They look like beetles, and they have hard shells."
Me: "But we don't have bedbugs at our house, so don't worry about that."
Flanna: "Cause we have a brick house, and it's strong!"
Me: "Yeah, so no bedbugs can get in here."
Flanna: (looking skeptical) "But bedbugs are tiny, and what if we have tiny holes in the wall?"
Me: "Nope, we don't have tiny holes."
Flanna: (still skeptical) "Okay. Night night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite! --Bedbugs are real!"
(Methinks we're going to have to change the bedbug part of the sleep routine! Thanks for the google science lesson, Daddy-o!)


Oh, and this last quote was actually by one of my speech students, but it was so cute I just had to include it! We were chatting about the fabulous cartoon Phineas and Ferb, and my student was laughing about how I was pretending to be Candace saying, "Oh, Jeremy!" Then he made a face and said,
"Some loves are gross?"



What made you laugh today?

Funny Flanna Quotes

Today, as we came back from jumping in all the puddles and walked up to our yard, covered in tiny beautiful maple leaves:
"Wow, look at all these beee-eautiful leaves!" (Check out the leaves on our front steps looking down to our sidewalk....gorgeous after the rain!)

Walking up to her teacher at recess outside on the playground, "Miss Sandy, I'm so frustrated! I just can't get any of the boys to marry me!" (To which Miss Sandy says, "Me, neither, honey!")

When I asked her what she wanted to be when she got older, "I don't want a job. I don't want to work. I just want to live here and watch your dogs while you and daddy are at work."

Looking at the angel figurine hanging in her room, "Mom, what's the difference of angels and fairies and fairy godmothers?"




Have you heard any quotes you want to remember this week?

Funny Flanna Quotes (and one more)

Cleaning up her dolls, I picked up her Dora that smells like strawberries and said, "This baby smells good."
To which Flanna replied,
"She gets that from the Strawberry side of the family."


While I was cooking: "Mom, how big is God?"
and later, "God must be as big as a giant dinosaur!"


Reading a book about Franklin's favorite blue blanket, I asked Flanna what her favorite thing to cuddle with was, and she said,
"My mommy!"


And one more quote, not from Flanna, but from a kiddo at my new school:

A teacher was helping a preschooler catch up to his classmates in line in the hallway. He asked where they were going, and she said they were heading to the preK "morning meeting" where they could get all the information they needed so they could know what the day would be like today. To which he replied,
"Aww man, I hate information!"



What made you laugh today?

Funny Flanna Quotes

I just had to post these before I forget them:


Looking at a dead bug that we decided had gone to heaven and was now an angel bug,
"Alls I need is wings to be an angel."

Said impatiently as I was making dinner,
"When are we gonna go to space, mom?"

Walking back home from the train station after a fun day trip to Raleigh,
"Well, that was a really fun adventure!"
(OK, so this one's not funny, but it is really really cute!)



What made you laugh today?

Funny Flanna Quotes

Here are some funny things I can remember from this week. There are so many I miss because I don't write them down! Hope you enjoy!


Looking at paintings at Robi's grandmother's house:
Me: Look, Flannery, Nana painted all of these paintings. She's an artist!
Flanna: My fairy godmother's an artist, too.
Me: Who?
Flanna: You know...Dana. (Dana, Flanna's godmother, is an artist! Just not a fairy! :) )


Riding in the car:
Flanna: Mom, when are Padme & Annie gonna have babies?
Me: Sweetie, they can't have babies. We had them fixed, because they're not breeding dogs.
Flanna: You mean it's hard for them to breathe when they have babies?


Driving back from my niece's birthday party. It's dark out, and we're up much later than normal.
Flanna: Look, it's dark! I see the moon!
Me: Yeah, we don't get to see the moon a lot, because you're usually in bed before it gets too dark.
Flanna: Yeah, but why did we stay up til it's dark today?
Me: Because we had a special occasion. Sometimes we stay up late when it's a special occasion.
Flanna: That's right. This IS a special vacation, so we can stay up late and see the moon!
Me: It's a Special OCcassion.
Flanna: Uhhuh, a special VA-cation. I know, mom.




That kid cracks me up.



What made you laugh so far this week?

More Funny Flanna Quotes

We've been insanely busy this past week with our gradual move from one apartment to another. We just moved across the street, but it's been a huge production! Anyway, somehow, amidst the craziness, I was able to jot down a few cute things I heard Flannery say. Here are the hits:

While skating precariously: "Don't worry, mom. I can do it. I'm almost four."

After a tantrum: "Sometimes I scream, and sometimes I don't."

Helping me put together a bookcase: "I'm a good carpenter. Just like granddad." (She really was good at it!)

Pretending to vacuum: "I'm helping to vacuum, because there sure is a lot of bunny dust in here!" (dustbunnies?)

When I told her I would cry when she turns 4: "Don't worry mom, I'll still be a part of this family!"

After Robi said his tummy was full after dinner: "But Dad, only girls can have babies in their tummy."

After we prayed for weeks in a row for and then celebrated our friends' newly adopted baby: "Did you guys adopt me, too?"



There were a thousand more cute quotes that I didn't immediately write down this week, so sadly, those bits of comic gold are history. If I've discovered anything during this week-long move, it's that my memory is completely nil when things are topsy turvy.


What funny things did you notice this week?