Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Speak the Truth in Love

A friend of mine gave me this beautiful wisdom once--told me that her motto in marriage, and in life, is to, "Speak the truth in love."  And I try to do that in my marriage, and in my life, too--to say the hard things, and to also listen to the hard things about myself.  Because that is the only way to grow into better versions of ourselves.

Anywho.  Here is a little poem I wrote, along those lines.  

It's called, "On Marriage."

It's worth the toil, this quiet peace I feel with you.  
The days of struggle, of defining how this will work,
of establishing a new routine each era,
of date night fuss and working hard to make a connection--
it all seems so far away and needless 
when this beauty cycles back around.
My first thought each morning is ThankYouGod, 
for my wonderful husband and family,
and it's so easy.
But there were times of toil--hard times, of disconnection and jostling for power, 
and a desire to be right. 
That all seems so silly when I look back on it. 
Still, marriage is meant to keep us on our toes--
to not let us grow weary of being better each day.
Marriage is salvific--and you are the one helping me face demons, 
and I hope I help you.
Because no one else on this earth can see me so clearly,
can list my quirks and failings so comprehensively,
as the one I choose to see me through it all.
And no one else has given me more grace, either,
has shown me how Christ's love might really be--
all-knowing, and still all-loving--
except you.


Monday, March 2, 2015

Do What Spring Does

in my back yard
Spring is coming, coming quickly.  Here in California, it's upon us already.  On my morning walk, I couldn't get over all of the new blooms that have popped up overnight!  It's lovely to see the renewal.

And it got me thinking this morning as I was walking with my dog, that I, too, need renewal.  I need to allow myself to do what spring does.  I need to push away the old brown, decaying leaves that have covered up the beauty that is possible in my life, and make way for new green shoots, for new colorful buds.  I need to get rid of the patterns that keep me always in a hurry, always behind a step, always stressed, always anxious, and make room in my life for wandering, and thinking, and reflecting, and connecting with the ones I love, and being the person I want to be.  Because it's so easy, automatic almost, for my priorities to get covered with decaying leaves.

along our fence
Today, with my to-do list hitting 3 pages long (for reals!), and my dog needing to go to the vet (he has a scratch on his eyelid), and my daughter's orthodontist appointment looming at the end of the day, and with dishes and laundry and e-mails piling up every moment, I am going to try to take deep breaths, and revel in the fabulous deep kiss my hubby gives me as he heads to work, and the way my daughter's hair flies behind her as she rides her scooter to school, and how my sweet dog chooses to lay on the thin kitchen rug just so he can be close to me as I work even though there are a hundred more comfy cushions and blankets for him all over the house.  And as I write IEPs and do all of the boring paperwork that comes with being an SLP, I will picture the grinning faces of my students when they learn a new word or say their /s/ sound just right. And that will be me, doing what spring does.

Because renewal doesn't mean my whole life changes, that the muddle of deadlines and chores and hard things goes away.  Renewal means that I push these things aside for tiny moments, that I focus briefly on what means the most for just long enough to let the green shoots of gratefulness break through the hard ground of my busy life.  Drawing our attention to beauty, that is what spring does.




How will you invite renewal into your life this week?