Zoom In

Today on my lunch break,  I noticed I was feeling pretty stressed about all of the items still un-done on my to-do list.  I knew I had a busy afternoon full of patients to see after lunch (which translates into zero time to get those tasks checked off my list!), and I was nervous that I would end up taking work home for the weekend if I didn't get it all done.  When I sat down at my therapy table with my first afternoon patient, though, I took a deep breath and told myself to, "zoom in."

It took a few minutes.  I was face to face with my patient, so I tried to notice what he was noticing.  I tried to see what it was that made him light up.  I noticed he'd had a hair cut since last week, and I could see his eyes better today.  I noticed that he smiled when he tapped a shape-sorter block against the table.  When I copied him and made the same tapping sound, he laughed.  I noticed that he used his voice more when there was noise in the background, like a ball popper popping or a musical toy playing.  By the end of the session, I had forgotten my to-do list stress, and had learned a few new things about my sweet patient that made our session incredibly productive.   Just by zooming in.

It's the same at home.  When I'm caught in the big picture of who needs to be where, and what needs to be done when, and how best to juggle it all, if I can just "zoom in" on my daughter, or my husband, or my dog, or a neat flower that just bloomed, my stress will often flow away, without a lot of effort on my part.

And now, it's Friday!  And I'm home!  And my daughter's spending the night with her cousin!  And even though I brought a tiny bit of work home, I'm going to "zoom in" on my hubby and have a nice dinner with him now!


What can you "zoom in" on today, for a quick happiness boost?  

Do Not Eat the Bread of Idleness

"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." - Proverbs 31:27 (regarding a "virtuous wife")

If you haven't noticed, I've been remarkably absent from the blogging world this past week.  I've so missed it, and hope to have more time to reflect on life soon, but for now, I'm just chugging along getting my work and housework done and trying to spend some quality time with my kiddo.  Tonight, I had lesson plans to check and e-mails to respond to and phone calls to make and dishes to do and birthday invitations to mail and laundry to fold, and then, don't you know, Flanna ended up not feeling well.  So all that went out the window while I snuggled and took her temperature and gave her snacks and medicine.  And then, after she finally fell asleep, I was able to steal away to check lesson plans and e-mail and get to the dishes and the laundry. 

You know, in the middle of the night.  Like a crazy person. 

But I need to be at work super early tomorrow, and Robi is going to be amazingly wonderful and stay at home with her tomorrow, and I just didn't want to leave him with a sick kiddo and dishes and laundry to top it all off. 

So, the verse in my head tonight is, "She does not eat the bread of idleness."  Other verses from Proverbs 31 apply tonight, too, like:

"She experiences work as a good thing, and her lamp is not quenched all night."  (Prov. 31:17)

I do typically experience work as a good thing, but I have to say that this lamp is about to be quenched for a bit.  Goodnight, all!


What little quotes or mottos keep you motivated when you have a lot of tasks on your plate?
 

Enjoy the Fruits of Your Labor

Our school garden has done so well!  It's still a work in progress, but our herbs and flowers are flourishing, and the pond is looking beautiful!

Last week, the students and I made bruschetta with some fresh basil from the garden.  They had planted the basil, then picked it, washed it, plucked leaves from the stems, and ate it up!  It was so neat to see little picky eaters eating whole leaves of fresh basil at a time!  During our snack, I kept reiterating--"Guys, we GREW this basil ourselves!"  I think they thought it was pretty cool.  Almost all of them went back for seconds, thirds, even fourths!

Today was the 5th grade "moving up" ceremony at my school.  I have to admit I got a little teary-eyed watching some of my sweet students singing songs and walking across the stage to accept awards.  I'm so proud of them, and have been honored to get to be a part of their school experience.

Enjoy the fruits of your labor.  Be it plants growing in a garden, or kids who now know how to write an essay as they move on to middle school.  Take time to revel in the little successes, the tiny accomplishments of your sphere of influence.  And then plant another seed, and start again.


What little success have you had recently?

It's Hard to Say Goodbye

All the SLPs in our school district had a meeting and end-of-the-year gathering yesterday, and it was just so wonderful to get to spend some time as a whole group.   This group of ladies is full of kind, sweet, funny, creative, ambitious, thoughtful, reflective therapists who really care about the children they serve.  I've been so lucky to be a part of their team.  They gave me a sweet goodbye plant with a card that said, "It's easier to say "She sells seashells by the seashore" 5 times fast, than to say "Goodbye."--so appropriate I wondered if the card was published by ASHA (the national association of SLPs)!  (But it wasn't! Someone just found the perfect card!)

AND, to top it all off, there was wonderful food!  I brought these cute tomato/basil kabobs (with basil from the garden!) that my friend Rachel introduced me to years ago.  They were a hit!

So, there's another thing I'm going to miss.  My wonderful coworkers (and their wonderful potluck food!).  My next job has a lot to live up to!

me with Ruth, my fellow Ephesus Speechie 

The Whole CHCCS SLP Gang

What's your favorite thing about your job?

A School Garden: Before

My coworker, Mary, and I applied for a grant to start a school garden at our elementary school.  And guess what?  We got it!  Out of 14 applications, ours was chosen to be funded!  We're very excited!

I took some "before" photos of the area where we're going to start the garden.  Years ago, this was a "victory garden," but it's been neglected for quite a while.  It used to have a pond in the middle, but we're going to fill in the pond and plant flowers in that bed.  The two raised beds are going to be for herbs and veggies.


I work with the intermediate autism classroom at my school, and we're really looking forward to having some language lessons planned around gardening experiences together before the school year is out.  Stay tuned for the "after" photos as spring approaches and we get the garden in shape!

Have you started planting your spring garden yet?  What are you planting this season?

Spending the Night! and News!

It seems like forever since I last posted!  Sorry to be on an unannounced hiatus last week!  I got super busy with work, Spanish class, and trying to cook/clean/have it all.  :)  So, I'm going to try to catch you up on our happenings in one fell swoop.  You may need to take notes...we've been busy!

Flanna spent the night with her sweet friend Lucy last week.  She was soooo excited to go!  She kept saying, "I'm going to Lucyyyyyy's!"  She got all dolled up in her brand new hair bows from her Grammie, her bracelet from her Grandma, and a dress with a ruffle down the front.

She did great on her first sleepover that wasn't with family!  When we picked her up the next day, she was thrilled to report how she got to sleep on the top bunk of Lucy's bunk bed, and how she had sooo much fun!

And Robi and I had an evening out on the town!  We took a nice walk, then went to dinner and a movie, and it was so refreshing to have time alone to talk and relax.  This must be what life is like when you live close to family and they can steal your child for the weekend.  I sort of remember what that's like.

Speaking of which,  I have news!!!

My hubby has a new job!  Down south!  Near our family!

We'd been hoping for him to find something here in the Durham area so I could keep this dream job I have right now.  (Seriously, I currently have the best job I'll probably ever have in my whole life.)  But, alas, that was not to be.

The job he found is pretty great, though!  At a fancy schmancy school and teaching super interesting classes.

And did I mention it's near family?  Cause that's pretty huge.

We're very excited!




Where would you choose to live, if you could live anywhere at all?

Why I Wake Up and Drive in my Cold Dark Car to Work Each Day

Check out this video about the importance of autonomy, mastery, and purpose for motivating us in our work lives.  

Wow, do I ever feel lucky to have the job I do.  I think that these 3 qualities are just inherent in my job as an SLP.

Plus, my coworkers started a fabulous mentoring program at my school and are constantly finding ways to do inspiring things for our students.  Talk about adding purpose to my work.

I've got a longer post about this brewing in the back of my brain, but for now, I'll just let you watch the cool video.



What needs to change in your work life so that these 3 factors can fully motivate you?

Work hard to try to better yourself, but remember to appreciate what you have.

A Happiness Interview with my Dad

Every once in a while, I'm trying to post interviews with amazing and insightful people who inspire me! Today's focus is my dad, Terry.  My dad inspires me in so many ways, but probably the main things I appreciate about him are that he always expected the best from my sister and me, and that he modeled a strong work ethic for us.  He taught me a lot about setting goals and working hard to reach them.  He and my mom saved up for years and years, bought some land in the woods (we called it "the property" back then), and then when I was in second grade, my dad designed and built us a house on the land.  I remember him working his day job in construction, a side job on the weekend, and building our house in his "spare" time.  He's always been a great provider for the family, and for a gruff burly guy in construction, he's actually very affectionate and kind hearted.  Here are his responses to my happiness interview questions: 


1. How do you cheer yourself up when you're feeling blue?
I try to maintain a good attitude. I also try to look for the positive in situations. I do get mad and I do get sad. Those aren't positive things, so I try not to live there, just visit. Your mother knows me better and may think I visit the mad side too often. When I feel sad or blue, it usually involves memories of someone I lost or pain we went through, which also brings up happy memories we had together.

2. What's something you've discovered that you'd like your kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews to know about happiness?
Happiness is an attitude. It is the way you percieve things. You can make yourself miserable or you can make yourself happy. I sort of think life is meant to be balanced. If you have great happiness, you are bound to have great sorrows, and usually they are closely related. So the goal is to try to remain on the happy side of the scale, but don't push it, and don't expect too much. Work hard to try to better yourself, but remember to appreciate what you have.

3. What's a little thing you do regularly that makes you happy?
I think about my family. I am very proud of my wife, my daughters, and my granddaughters. I think of how lucky I am to have their love.

4. What are some of the toughest struggles you've had to go through so far in your life, and how did you find a way to be happy amidst the struggle?
The toughest struggles in my life have involved my family and friends. Both daughters were born premature--the second more so than the first. The deaths of my father, then my mother. My wife going through heart surgury. My youngest daughter having problems giving birth to her daughter. Deaths of other loved ones. All of these moments were tough and bring back sad memories, but all of them I went through with the help of my family and friends. My daughters are now doing fine, so are my wife and granddaughters. You don't ever get over the death of family or friends. But you try to appreciate the good memories. I don't think I tried to find a way to be happy amidst the struggle. I just appreciated having family and friends to help go through it and tried to be positive about the outcome. The best way to be happy is to keep a positive attitude. I like the saying,  "the best part of your life is just around the corner."

---

This past year, I've learned a lot about happiness.  And one of the main things I think I'm learning is that sometimes there is just no way to be happy amidst a struggle.  Some struggles are just too heavy.  And in those cases, the people who are willing to sit with you while you're sad or who are there to just be with you in silence when there's nothing to say, are the positive side of the situation.  I think my dad says this beautifully, "I just appreciated having family and friends to help go through it."

And my favorite quote from his interview was this, "Work hard to try to better yourself, but remember to appreciate what you have."  This is the crux of happiness to me, the balance of these very two issues.  I think I do a good job of working to better myself, but I often forget to appreciate what's in front of me.



How has your father (or step father or grandfather or spiritual father) influenced the way you think about your life?  

When guilt creeps in

It's not a pretty picture, when guilt creeps in.

As a mom who recently returned to full-time work after working part-time since my daughter was born, you can imagine that Mr. Guilt has pretty much taken up permanent residence in my psyche these days. He's unpacked his things, put them away in closets and drawers, and started leaving the cap off of my toothpaste.

And then my daughter came home today reporting that she'd been in time-out during nap time at school. For the gazillionth time this month. Given, she's 3, and could just be remembering a day last week when that happened. But Mr. Guilt points a finger at me, reminding me that if I weren't working my full-time job, the afternoons of difficult nap times and time outs would not be an issue. Instead, we would've been having perfect picnics at the park in the afternoons, celebrating the wonder that is my creative and energetic kiddo.

Sigh.

I think I take it too hard, the idea of my amazing daughter suffering the slightest bit. But on a day when I was at work from 7 a.m. to almost 5 p.m., when I left before my daughter woke up and came home when it was almost dark, to a daughter whose delicate self image was suffering... it was just too much. Guilt flung wide the door and stomped around with muddy boots.

I talked to my mom on the phone and actually cried. But she made me feel better, and then my hubby encouraged me to e-mail the school and try to figure things out. It's a wonderful school, with amazing and caring teachers who will completely work with me to make things right.

So I wrote an e-mail, a small positive action, which helped a bit.

Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure.




How do you deal with lousy days? How do you keep yourself from feeling guilty about the zillions of things that you can't make perfect in your life? Today I could use ideas.


By the way, Gretchen Rubin posted these ways for getting through a lousy day today. I thought it interesting that her post was so timely. Maybe it's universal to have rough days just before the time changes?

Even Good Changes can be Hard

Some of you have asked how my new full time job is going. I haven't really posted much about it because I've been so busy, and really, I've been kind of unsure as to how it relates to my happiness project. I mean, this new job definitely brings me a lot of happiness. I love my new colleagues and students, and just feeling like I have a team of folks to learn from and feel connected with each day has been a wonderful change for me. And here's the kicker...I don't have to bring work home every night! That has been a wonderful change, to have my evenings free to focus on my home and family.

But then there's also the change from part-time to full-time work that has brought a lot of guilt for me. I leave for work each day before Flannery wakes up, and get home around dinner time, when there are meals to be made and laundry to be washed and dogs to be fed and baths to be taken. I've been trying to squeeze in some special playtime for us each evening, but it's so different than our long afternoons of walks and crafts back when I worked part-time. Sometimes it feels really silly and even frustrating to be teaching other people's children all day while someone else teaches my child all day.

Sigh.

Anyway, I just keep trying to remember that this summer, we'll have months of leisurely days together, and that I'm a much better mom when we're financially stable than when we're stressed about money.

I read this post over at the Four Flights of Fancy blog yesterday, and it really resonated with me. The writer is another mama who has just started back to full time work. She speaks much more eloquently than I can about the ebb and flow of accepting this new lifestyle. It's hard sometimes.

Not to whine. I fully realize that I am insanely lucky to be able to find a new wonderful job in this ridiculous economy. I'm so thankful to be able to help support my family doing something I wholeheartedly enjoy. But I try to be honest on this blog, so that's where I am right now.



How does your job relate to your own happiness and fulfillment? Do you think if you didn't work, you'd miss it?


(By the way, that cute SLP voice magnet is from CafePress. Neat, huh?)

Let Yourself Be Yourself

I have recently realized that I'm kind of strange. I'm not your average 31 year old.

For instance, I love to watch Mystery Diagnosis. It's my favorite show. That's just weird.

And I love country music and Christian pop. This really embarrasses my husband, who only listens to bands that no one else has yet discovered.

Also, when I'm at a party, I gravitate to the kiddie table. I'm just more comfortable with kids than with adults. Kids are more fun and more honest, and really, less work than making small talk.

But I somehow don't think that's normal.

And I'm okay with that. It makes me happy to just be myself. Not to worry about who thinks my favorite TV shows are strange, or that my Christian pop CDs are cheesy, or that it's odd I'd rather hang out with preschoolers than grown ups. When I turned 30, one of my friends told me, "Thirty means not having to explain yourself."

I like that. These days I'm just letting myself be myself.



By the way, I had my new speech kiddos at my new school create self-portraits, and I thought this would be a good post for showing them off. I just love how each one sort of shows a bit of each child's personality. (And just so you know, the scary Spock looking kiddo is actually a very non scary sweetheart...too funny!)














What have you embraced about your strange self lately?

Do What Needs to be Done

My house is clean now.

My daughter has had playdates and fun outings and summer camp all week. (Above are some cute photos of her playdate today, during which we made a birthday cake and sang happy birthday (with candles and all!) to some twin baby dolls.)

My tons of start-up paperwork for all my new summer clients is done.

And I'm exhausted.

But happy!

It feels good to get things done.

I promise I'll be back to posting regularly now!



Why does a clean house make me so much happier than it should? Have you noticed your own mood being affected by the level of chaos in your home?

Honor the Gifts You Receive

So here's the big reveal! Here's the family tree I made for my dad for his birthday! Tadaa! My vision was a little less crafty and a little more classy, but I did my best and now I'm done with it, so yay!

It feels nice to honor the gift that my dad gave me of all of the time and effort and money he put into researching our family tree. There are some really cool stories he found along the way, too, that maybe I'll put into a scrapbook one day. You know, the same day I'm gonna do all the eleven million other little projects in a zillion unfinished stages all around my house. Hah!

Anyway, working on this project made me really focus on honoring the gifts I'm given. I think there are tons of things that others do for me that I regularly take for granted, and I'm trying to be cognizant of that lately. So, I've been trying to honor gifts lately.

To not just let the sweets and trinkets Flannery got for Easter go to waste, but to allow her a little treat each day. So far, the egg carton of tiny bubble gum eggs has been her favorite! (And my favorite was the dove dark chocolates....yum!)

To take the time to help Flanna decorate the cool birdhouse my brother-in-law made for us. (Next step in the honoring process is to actually hang it outside in a place safely away from cats!)

To work hard to keep the communal herbs that dropped from the sky (er, actually from my landlord, Edna), alive and thriving. (I found out that I have mint, chives, basil, and rosemary. And I did have oregano. Until I killed it by underwatering. I guess honoring is a work in progress when delicate plants are involved.)

To appreciate the gift of a good, flexible job even amidst busy, stressful times. To take in the thousands of little gifts I get each day from my sweet clients--the little giggles, grins, smiles, funny things said, silly dances, hugs, and amazing accomplishments I get to witness every day.

To remember to gaze upon my wonderful family as a gift, a real treasure, and to treat them as so.




What gifts are you trying to honor lately?

Do What Needs to be Done

I'm working like crazy this week to try to prepare for a week off just after Easter. I'm seeing clients for extra visits, trying to get most of my meetings squared away ahead of time, and basically trying to catch up on everything before I leave for a bit, so that I'm not totally overwhelmed with work when I get back from our break.

It's funny, I thought that this week of crazy overscheduling and meetings and paperwork was going to make me stressed out. I mean, I've been staying up late into the night (or is it really the wee hours of the morning?...who knows!) to get paperwork done, and I've been filling my days with back to back therapy sessions as much as I can.

But it's actually a relief in a way, to get things checked off of my list ahead of time and not have as much waiting for me when I get back. Don't get me wrong...I still have a pretty hefty to-do list. But each little productive task I'm accomplishing this week has made me happy so far.

Tired. But happy.

Now, I'm off to another IEP meeting.



What will give you a wave of relief (and maybe a little happiness boost) if you can get it checked off of your list? (For me, it's getting my taxes sent off...but maybe I'll get to that this weekend!)

Agree or Disagree?

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
--Henry David Thoreau


I'm not sure if I agree with this statement. I mean, I know that success is usually tied to intense hard work, but I tend to think that most successful people are looking ahead at the big picture while they're working. That their focus on success is what is driving them to work so hard.

As for happiness, which I kind of use as my yard-stick for measuring my success, I really think that since I've started to "look for" happiness, it's come to me more easily. Maybe it was there all along, and I just didn't recognize or appreciate it.

Or maybe now I'm "busying" myself with working towards happiness. Hmm. I'll have to think about this one.

What do you think?