Social Skills Activities

Our students brainstormed expected versus unexpected behaviors, and
how others think of us when we engage in unexpected behaviors.

This past school year, I've been using the Superflex Comic Book curriculum by Michelle Garcia Winner to focus on social skills topics with my students with autism and pragmatic language deficits.  The students have increased in confidence in their ability to monitor and modulate their emotions and energy level, to begin and maintain conversations, to participate in classroom discussions and collaborative projects, and to use appropriate body language and facial expressions in conversations with peers and adults.  I've had such fun with this curriculum, and I'm grateful to the Public School Foundation (who provided us with a grant to purchase these materials) for their generous support in helping the idea come to fruition.

The Unthinkables are "bad guys" who send our brain the ideas to behave in "unexpected" ways.  

Our students read about how the hero, "Superflex," uses strategies such as positive self-talk, calming deep breaths, thinking about what others are thinking about, and matching our reaction to the size of the problem, to defeat the Unthinkables.

Our students learned about each bad guy "Unthinkable," along with ways to defeat them.  They used calming strategies to reduce their emotion levels on the emotions thermometer from angry/exploding down to calm/cool. 

Our students figured out which calming strategies worked best for them when they were frustrated. 

Our students played egg-hunt games in which they used strategies to defeat the Unthinkables in each egg given a variety of situations.

Who has helped you meet your goals?

A School Garden: Before

My coworker, Mary, and I applied for a grant to start a school garden at our elementary school.  And guess what?  We got it!  Out of 14 applications, ours was chosen to be funded!  We're very excited!

I took some "before" photos of the area where we're going to start the garden.  Years ago, this was a "victory garden," but it's been neglected for quite a while.  It used to have a pond in the middle, but we're going to fill in the pond and plant flowers in that bed.  The two raised beds are going to be for herbs and veggies.


I work with the intermediate autism classroom at my school, and we're really looking forward to having some language lessons planned around gardening experiences together before the school year is out.  Stay tuned for the "after" photos as spring approaches and we get the garden in shape!

Have you started planting your spring garden yet?  What are you planting this season?

Marriage Tips from an Autism Guru

  Pair me with this view a few times,
and I'm suddenly going to be irresistable. 

This morning, I attended a morning training on verbal behavior treatment methods for kiddos with autism.  One of the things that really resonated with me from the training was that, for kids who aren't motivated by many things, we've got to create positive experiences they'll enjoy so that they'll have the motivation to ask for the experience again.  Sometimes, we can do that just by pairing a new experience with something they already love.

So, for instance, if a child is obsessed with his Phineas and Ferb action figures, you could read a new book to him while he's playing with his beloved Phineas and Ferb set, and then, after enough pairings of the book and Phineas and Ferb, the child will become conditioned to also enjoy and be motivated to ask for the book.  This is called creating a conditioned reinforcer.

The funny thing is, that the reason this stuck with me is that the Autism Guru who was speaking, jokingly said that it would do many marriages some good if the husband and wife paired themselves with enjoyable and fun activities, so they would associate one another not just with the drudgery that is cooking and cleaning and raising children and working, but also with some fun stuff.

Maybe that's why regular "date nights" are so important for us old married folks.  We're just pairing ourselves with reinforcing activities like eating yummy food and watching funny movies, which makes us enjoy our spouses more as a by-product.

The thing is, this makes sense, but it sounds kind of soulless to me, to break shared experiences down that way.  I'd rather think of date nights as times when husbands and wives enter into one another's interests and share special joint attention, which causes bonding.   I'd like to think we're more complex than just reinforcers and punishments at work.

But, just in case, I think I'm going to take my hubby out for dinner and a movie tomorrow.



What's your favorite date night movie out right now?

iPad apps for Phonics

I've been challenging myself to use technology more in my speech sessions, and the iPad has been a wonderful way to enjoy that challenge.  If you don't know much about the iPad, it's a neat little touchscreen computer that's really easy to use.  There are lots of little "games" for the iPad, called "apps" (applications).  Many of these apps can also be used on the iPhone or iTouch.  You can download apps from iTunes and use them right away with your iPad, iPhone, or iTouch.  The thing I love about the iPad is that students don't have to know how to use a mouse or keyboard to use it.  They just touch the screen.    For students with fine motor difficulties, the iPad simplifies access to games and activities, and lets the content be the focus.  

Anyway, in the next few weeks, I'm going to do a series in which I review some iPad apps that I've used with my speech students.  Today, I'm going to focus on apps that I've used for beginning readers.  I'll use a scale of 1-5 stars to rate the apps overall, with
1 = Waste of Time, 2 = I've seen worse, 3 = Okay, 4 = Better than many,  and 5 = Amazing App.

ABC Pocket Phonics: Letter sounds & writing + first words - 4 stars ($1.99)
I used ABC Pocket Phonics lite for a while, and then decided to pay the $1.99 for the regular app, because one of my students with autism did so well with this app. Basically, ABC Pocket Phonics has two games:
1) Letter sounds & writing - in which the student is shown a letter, hears its sound, and is then asked to trace the letter. The cool thing is that the tracing game models the correct directionality and gives the child feedback about whether they traced the letter correctly or not (you can set the "grading" to easy, normal, or hard, depending on the child's ability). I've used this part of the game for teaching specific letter sounds, and I just keep pressing the back arrow button to repeat the sound I'm focusing on. The OT I work with appreciates that we model the correct directionality for writing letters while we're learning their sounds.  The thing I don't like about this part of the game is that you can't pick the set of letters/sounds to focus on. But it's pretty motivating, with applause when the student traces the letter correctly. The second game is:
2) the Word Game - In this game, the narrator says a phoneme (sound) and asks the child to pick the corresponding letter (from a field of 7 or so). Then the narrator says the next sound in the word until the whole word is spelled. After all the letters are chosen, the narrator models blending of the new word. I wish that the narrator would wait a bit longer before saying the word, to allow the child more time for blending. Also, again, I wish you could choose the set of words to be used ahead of time, but most of the words are simple CVC words with short vowels, so I'd only use this app for children at that level of encoding/decoding. The best part of this app, to me, is that it's motivating and good for multisensory learning. I wish it could be more individualized, as then I could use it with more of my students who are at a higher level but still need phonics instruction to meet their reading/writing goals.

Build a Word with Word World Characters - 2 stars ($ .99)
I used the lite version of this app for several weeks before upgrading to the regular version because one of my students with autism was so motivated by the TV show "Word World."  I typically use this app as a reward for this student, who is a solid reader and is way past the "building words" stage.  However, I've used this app for fun with my 4 year old daughter, too, and she enjoys it, although it doesn't hold her interest for very long.  Don't let the name of this app fool you---it's basically a letter matching game, and doesn't really teach children how to create words themselves.  (By the way, I'm constantly amazed at the apps that teach something completely different than they claim to teach, but I'll save that rant for another post.)  Build a Word displays a letter on the screen, and then the child must choose the matching letter from a variety of floating letters, at which point the app says the letter name (not the letter sound, as I'd hoped).  Then, the app displays the next letter in the word, and so on, until the student has matched all of the letters in the word that they're "building."  Once they've matched them all, the student squishes the letters together to make a word, and the app sings the little "It's time to build a word" song (from the TV show) and then says the word the student "built."  The repertoire of words that the child is able to build is very limited (maybe 10 words total, and then it just repeats the words in upper or lowercase), so this app gets boring very quickly (unless you're a student with autism who is completely gaga over Word World!).  Overall, I gave it 2 stars just because it's cute, engaging, and slightly educational. 

ABC Phonics Rocks Lite - 3 stars (Free)
ABC Phonics Rocks Lite is an app used to teach students their letter sounds. On the "Letters" section of the game, it just displays the alphabet (capitals), and when students touch a letter, its sound is produced. I wish it had an option for teaching lowercase letters, as well. Also, some of the sounds are hard to understand, so I don't use this part of the app much. On the "Words" section of the game, the student is shown a picture of a simple word to spell (word family words), and blank spaces are provided for the student to fill in letters to spell the word. When the student touches a space, they hear the phoneme that goes there, and then can choose the corresponding letter to go in that spot.  I like that this app says the sounds of the letters rather than their names.  Again, I wish lowercase letters were used, but only capitals are used here, as well. Once the child spells the word correctly, the word dances to music as a reinforcer. My students with autism who typically would not work diligently on a writing/spelling task will encode word-family words many times using this app. I do wish that the app were more flexible and that I could pre-set the target words, but for me, this app works ok as an intro or review for phonics lessons for very early readers focusing on short vowel word families.

Clifford's "Be Big" With Words word writing game - 3 stars  (Free)
In this game, Clifford's friend Jetta is painting, and needs ideas for what to paint.  The object of the game is for the student to spell a word for Jetta to paint.  Below an art easel, the student can choose from 2-4 capital letters to give Jetta some ideas.  The student drags and drops any letter they want into each slot (words are typically 3 letters in length), and the app displays only letters that will work to create simple words, so there's no chance the child will produce a non-word.  Once the 3 slots are filled, the narrator sounds out each letter and then says, "You spelled, bug!", or whatever word was spelled.  I like that this app provides the student with some autonomy as to what word they might want to spell, rather than giving a word and asking the child to spell that word.  Also, I like that success is built-in.  However, I wish this app said the letter sound instead of the letter name when the student is dragging and dropping each letter onto the easel.  I also wish that the narrator paused for a few seconds before telling the child what word they just spelled, to give the child a chance to try blending the sounds themselves first.  This game might be useful for a child who is learning to spell simple CVC (consonant-vowel-consonant) words with short vowels; however, it's more of a practice activity than a teaching activity.  I've used this app to buy myself time to cook dinner while my daughter plays it, and my daughter loves to show me all the words she spelled and the pictures Jetta painted because she "told her to."

Doodle Buddy - 4 stars (free)
It might seem strange to call this app a phonics app, because it's truly just a drawing app, but I've used it so many different ways to target phonics skills, and students are generally so motivated by this app, that I wanted to include it here. Doodle Buddy is pretty much a fancy magnadoodle.  The student uses his/her finger to draw on the screen, and has options to change the color of the paint, the size of the crayon, to use stamps, etc.  You shake the whole iPad to erase, which is fun for students, as well.  I've used Doodle Buddy to add a multisensory component to learning sound-letter correspondence.  I'll write a letter in one color while saying its sound, and then have the student trace the letter in another color while saying its sound.  I've also written a word family rime on the right side of the screen and allowed the student to use either the "eraser" or "undo" feature to change the onset to make as many different words from that word family rime as they can, while I transcribe the words they've made for us to review later.  There is an option to save pictures that you make into iPhoto, which the students also enjoy.  I find it's a nice way to review what we did in our previous session by looking back at some of the Doodle Buddy pictures we've made together.  This is a very versatile app, and my students really enjoy using it.  Writing activities they would never enjoy with just a pencil and paper become fun and engaging with Doodle Buddy.  Below are some doodles I've made with Doodle Buddy, focusing on short vowels with a student with autism who is a beginning reader.  (Disclaimer:  You probably want to monitor your student/child while using Doodle Buddy, because some of the ads can be difficult to navigate if you accidentally click on them, and you'll want to be there to close them quickly to get back to the fun.  If it weren't for the ads, I'd have given this app 5 stars---too bad!)

Tracing Over my "e" in many different colors for overlearning the short "e" sound

onset and rime game; we had written cat, then turned it into bat, and
will erase the onset (beginning letter) and make mat or hat.

We made a sun chart with short "e" words

So, there you have it, 5 apps that will get you started if you're working on phonics with your iPad (or iPhone or iTouch).


And now for the disclaimer:   The contents of this blog are for informational purposes only. The information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You should seek the advice of your health care provider regarding any questions you have. You should not disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog. The Gladdest Thing Under the Sun disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on the information on this blog.  Ideas posted here are just general strategies that work for me, and should in no way to be taken as medical advice. If you have a child or grandchild who needs speech and language support, there is no better way to get it than in person with your very own SLP. You can find a certified SLP in your area by going here. 






What are your top 3 apps for the iPad, iPhone, or iTouch?  

No Regrets: A Happiness Interview

Happiness Interview with Susan


Every once in a while, I'm trying to post interviews with amazing and insightful people who inspire me! Today's focus is Susan.


Susan is a fellow red-head, so when I first met her, I knew we would hit it off. She is an outgoing, intelligent mom of 3 and wife of a military man. I was Susan's oldest son's SLP for a while when he was just a tiny kiddo, and one of my fondest memories of their family is the princess birthday party they threw for their daughter, in which Susan convinced all of her husband's Navy friends to attend the party dressed in full "prince" garb. What a magical day for a 5 year old girl! This type of creativity and thoughtfulness is just everyday living for Susan (which is probably one of the reasons she was so great at helping her kids learn--what a great family to work with!), and I was thrilled to hear her insights about happiness. 


Here are her answers to my happiness questions:


1. How do you cheer yourself up when you're feeling blue?

I had to take a few days to think about this. It’s not always an active or conscious action. I’m a firm believer in personal accountability and personal choice. I *choose* to be happy! I had to learn to say “what’s the worst that could happen?” (Thanks Dad!) and recognize that I can’t change other people or outside influences; but I CAN change my reaction to them. We have a long line of alcoholics in our family, so my folks started teaching us NOT to find happiness and comfort in things, e.g. alcohol, food, etc. I feel a warm breeze, see a cardinal in the snow, or the smell of fresh rain… it makes me happy. Even my kids arguing… at least I’m alive to hear them fighting! 


2. What's something you've discovered that you'd like your kids, grandkids, nieces, and nephews to know about happiness?

My husband wakes me up most mornings with the saying “It’s a beautiful day and it’s great to be alive!” Interesting that he learned this from his swim coach in high school. We never dreamed how prevalent it would be in our lives down the road. Also, you can't buy happiness. It is something you have to find within yourself. Life is full of bumpy roads, and there are no guarantees. Make the most of every situation and never have any regrets! Regrets are like guilt, they are a waste of time and energy!


3. What's a little thing you do regularly that makes you happy?

Well, lately it has been running again. I used to scrapbook and am planning on getting back into that. But something I do every day? I have to get out of bed, no matter how early my husband leaves, to see him to the door, give him a hug and kiss and then wave as he leaves. I feel like it grounds me for the day. Again, no regrets. Not that I think anything is going to happen to him, but it gives us that bond to start our day. We’re a unified front and no matter what either of us encounters during the day, we feel connected and strong to handle it! It really sucks when he’s deployed and I can’t do it!


4. What are some of the toughest struggles you've had to go through so far in your life, and how did you find a way to be happy amidst the struggle?

Wow, this is such a loaded question. My answer will come out sounding like a really bad after-school special or a sappy Lifetime channel movie. :o) Okay, I’ll just throw it all out. Life since getting married in 1997 has been full of speed bumps. We’ve had 3 miscarriages, one at 3 months-our first pregnancy, which they found out during the ultrasound, another at 6 weeks and the last when my water broke at 4 months on the dance floor of the Submarine Ball. In 2003, life got really complicated. I was diagnosed with cancer, our first son was diagnosed with Autism and my husband left for the military. Our 2nd son was then diagnosed 3 weeks after my husband left for the 2nd deployment. We’ve now been through 4 deployments in 7 years. The last 2 years have been the hardest. My husband left for Iraq March of 2009. Our cat died 3 weeks later, but most devastating, I lost my Mom in May. In October, my Uncle died. I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital due to an emergency hysterectomy because I lost 2 units of blood in 6 days and they couldn’t stop it. And of course, because life wants to always show you who’s boss, on New Year’s Eve, my dog and I were attacked by 2 pit bulls. In April of this year, my husband finally came home! A week later, my Aunt passed away and my Dad had to have triple bypass! Mike reported to his new ship and was promptly deployed again for 3 more months. We had a quiet few months and then this past Sunday we lost my Great-Uncle, the closest thing to a Grandpa I ever had. So…. All that said, how do I stay happy and optimistic? No, not alcohol. :o) It could always be worse! Seriously! Everyone has devastating issues in their lives. It may not seem that way to us, it’s all about perspective. I always try and usually do find a silver lining. It may not be a big one, but it helps. With my Mom’s death, it freed my Dad to come up here and help me this past year with everything I went through. He wasn’t able to do that when he was caring for my Mom. I believe my Mom is responsible for getting my Dad into the doctor’s. I think she was gently squeezing his arm letting him know to get things checked BEFORE he had a heart attack or stroke! Lastly, there are 2 poems that are my personal anthems. One my Dad introduced me to in H.S. and the other is my husband’s favorite.


Desiderata 

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. 

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons they are vexations to the spirit. 

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. 

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. 

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. 

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. 

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. 

-- Max Ehrmann


If
By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you 
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; 
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
But make allowance for their doubting too; 
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, 
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, 
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; 

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; 
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 
If you can meet with triumph and disaster 
And treat those two imposters just the same; 
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, 
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
And never breath a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
To serve your turn long after they are gone, 
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; 
If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - 
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


---


Isn't Susan neat?  I really like the reminder to be a "unified front" with my hubby, and to start each day with "no regrets."  Thanks so much, Susan, for inspiring me!






Do you have any "personal anthems" that you return to often?  I'd love to hear what they are if so!

Happiness Interview with Debi

Debi is an amazing mom to an equally amazing kiddo. Debi's daughter was diagnosed with autism when she was about 3 years old, and I was her daughter's SLP for several of those early years. I really loved working with Debi and her daughter--both have such creative and fun spirits. Debi is one of those people who is at once sarcastic, sincere, funny, and deep, and I was excited to see what she had to say about happiness. Here are her answers to my happiness questions:

-----

1. What's a little thing you do regularly that makes you happy?
I cuddle up in bed and read a good quote book.

2. When you're feeling blue, what do you do to cheer yourself up?
I look at anything to do with my daughter. A picture of her, a picture she has colored, something she has written...anything...

3. What do you want your child to know about happiness?
Happiness is more important than money, fame, or any material possession. Having happiness is having true life. Without it our spirit dies.

4. What advice would you offer to other moms of children with special needs about life and happiness?
Enjoy every second that you can with your child. Grab chances to savor the quiet. If you listen to your child more than you worry about your child, you can learn a lot about happiness and even more about life. Let go of the guilt that a disability can hang over your head. Your child does not hold you accountable for what is wrong with them; they only see how you help life become right for them. Smile and show your child that you love them and are happy with them just the way they are. Oh! Don't forget to grab some chocolate every chance you get!

-----

"Your child does not hold you accountable for what is wrong with them; they only see how you help life become right for them."

I love this quote. I think every parent needs to remember this, not just parents of children with special needs.



How do you make life "become right" for the children in your life?

Joint Attention and my Favorite Band

Tonight, my husband and I went to see my favorite band play in Raleigh. It was a fabulous evening of gorgeous music and just general fun.

I tried to be in the moment during the show, and I was struck by how much that increased my enjoyment of the experience. At one point, the band was singing a song about how "sometimes rain that's needed, falls," and the crowd all around me was singing those same lyrics, and I realized that almost everyone in the whole theater was sharing in this beautiful quiet moment of joint attention. Which was rather transcendent, actually.

That moment got me thinking about how people bond.

I teach social skills groups to children with autism, ADHD, and general difficulty with social language skills at work each week. The last 2 weeks, we've focused on "making friends." We've learned about how to choose which person might make a good friend, how to learn about that person, how to ask about his/her favorite topics each time you see him/her, and how to judge whether your friendly gestures are being taken well or not.

But, we have not focused on what makes some friendships "click." On how to bond with friends. Which is ultimately my goal for each of my students...to get them to the point where they are able to bond with others.

The interesting thing to me here, is that this band we went to see tonight, it's not my husband's favorite band. It's mine. Yet he indulged me; he entered into my interest. And we shared a beautiful bonding experience together because of that. It deepened our relationship to share joint attention together.

So this week, I'm going to remember that my students (and my family, too, for that matter!) really want me to come and see their favorite "band." To stand and listen and watch the things they really love. To have me appreciate the things they find amazing.

Hopefully I can do just that.




Have you indulged friends' or family members' or students' interests and reaped the reward of a stronger connection? I'd love to hear about it!

How to Have a Fun Playdate with a Child with Autism

I think playdates are the best. Kids get to bond. Parents get to bond. Parents get to help their children choose good friends. Kids get to share fun experiences in a safe environment with adult support. What's not to love?

When you have a child with autism, though, the "playdate" scene is sometimes closed off to you, or at least significantly limited. Your pool of playmate possibilities may already be small if you were one of the first of all your friends to have a child. But then add on top of that the challenge of inviting friends over to your home or venturing to a playdate at someone else's home when your child has difficulty with social skills. There's fear, uncertainty, worry, and a big dose of guilt if anything goes wrong during the playdate.

I've worked in early intervention with parents of children with autism for 8 years, and in that time, one of the most important things I've been able to do is to help parents navigate participation in playgroups and playdates for their children with autism. Most of the information I suggest here is wisdom I've gained from parents' trial and error, and I hope it will be helpful. Here are some ideas that I've compiled over the years:

1. Time it right. - If you're planning a playdate for the first time, timing is everything. You know your child, and what the best and worst times of day are for your child. If she normally gets cranky in the afternoon, a morning playdate might work best. If he's groggy and zoned out most of the morning, maybe right after lunch is a better idea. If your child needs a nap each day, but you really want to attend a birthday party at her typical nap time, can you come later after at least a brief nap? Don't set up the child for failure by letting your child arrive hungry, tired, overstimulated, or stressed out for the playdate.

2. Keep it short and sweet. - Short periods of interaction are probably best to start with. An hour or at most two hours is a great length to start with for playdates.

3. Small is good. - When planning a playdate, one or two other children/families might be a nice group size to start with. I especially like playdates where there are 3 parents and 3 children, because that way, if one parent is supporting the children during play, the other parents can be chatting. If parents rotate the support throughout the playdate, then every parent gets a chance to chat while not leaving the children to fend for themselves during playtime.

4. Be hands-on. - As I mentioned, it's probably a good idea for parents to support playdates initially. Have hands-on activities planned, and try to take turns with other parents for supporting each mini-activity. For instance, one parent can be the playdough helper, one can be the snack helper, and one can be the train table helper. During your time as the "supporter" of play, try to help all of the children, not just the child with autism, so that the help you give doesn't draw negative notice to the child with autism.

5. Plan a Variety of Interesting Activities - Don't let the initial few playdates be free-play situations. If you're outside, have stations set up (balls, swings, slide, sand table, water table) that encourage a variety of ways to play. If you're inside, have several activities in mind that you will do with the children. Think about varying the amount of energy and concentration needed for each activity. For instance, you might have a train table, an art activity, a snack, and outside playtime. Organize the sequence of these activities so that the child with autism isn't asked to switch from a high energy activity to quiet time during the playdate. (For instance, start quiet and work your way up to high energy, with perhaps a calming activity again at the end before you have to get kids back into the car.)

6. Work with the Children's Interests - Try to plan ahead to engage the children in activities that they will all enjoy and especially in activities of interest to the child with autism. You may want to avoid playing with toys that are an obsessive interest, and aim for toys that are enjoyed but not sources of obsession, so that the child with autism will focus on the people there as well as the toys. Also, you may want to put away toys that the child with autism is currently obsessively interested in, to avoid conflict if you try to take it away or if another child tries to play with it during the playdate.

7. Use Visuals to Promote Good Social Interactions - When children come over to my home, I typically use a visual behavior chart that tracks how well my daughter shares her toys. If I catch her sharing, I place a check mark in a box. Once she fills up a whole row of boxes with check marks, she can choose a small prize. Other parents have used social stories before playdates to teach their children what to expect ahead of time, or have established "playtime rules" (with pictures) that are posted and reviewed with the children during the playdate.

8. Expect Snafoos - Things will never go perfectly as planned during a playdate, and that's okay. When children play together, conflicts arise. Do the best you can given the situation, and when it's over, let it go. The important thing is that you and the other parents help the children deal with situations in a positive manner. If your child hits another child, or another child throws sand at your child, don't worry--it happens. The important thing is to remain calm, remain positive, and work through the problem. Show the children the appropriate behavior. Tell them in positive terms what to do. For example, "We keep sand in the sand box. We use nice hands with our friends." Then help the children do just that.

9. Review the Good Stuff - After the playdate ends, be sure to point out to your child at least 3 things that he did well during the playtime. For example, "I liked how you looked at the other children and waved goodbye! That was friendly!," "You were so brave to try that new snack at Joey's house!," or "That was really generous of you to share your paints with your friends." Over time, these praises will teach your child not only what behaviors to continue, but also will help lead her to describe herself with those words: friendly, brave, generous. Also tell yourself the things that went well for you--especially if this was a snafoo-ridden playdate. For example, "I did my best to keep my son engaged today," or "I got to connect with another adult today."

10. Keep Trying - If one playdate totally bombs, don't feel guilty. Keep trying to find the right match for your child. Experiment with varying the time of day, the location of the playdate, the energy level of the activities, the types of sensory experiences, the playmates themselves, or the amount of parental support provided, and then keep trying to find a good combination that works for you and your child.

Also, I wanted to share a little quote I read from the Autism Digest's Spring e-Guide. A group of 25 moms got together to create a cheat-sheet for friends for how to best support parents of children with autism, and one of the things they suggested is:

"Our kids need friends, and even though their social skills are poor, they will never get better if you're not willing to let your neurotypical child play with ours. We can work together to create a positive experience for all the children involved."

Preach it, girls!



Let me know how your playdates go! I'd love to hear successes or horror stories alike! How else can we learn but to just get out there and try?

Speechy Sunday - Book Review

A few weeks ago, I found Jenny McCarthy's book, Louder than Words, on sale for 75% off at Barnes & Noble. Several parents of my little early intervention clients had recommended the book to me, so I thought it would be worth the $4 sale price. I bought it, took it home, and, after my daughter went to bed, I started reading it. Four hours later, I was still sitting in the same spot, finishing up the book. It was really an interesting read.

The book has many good points. First of all, it's a personal story of triumph over tragedy. And a compelling story at that. Jenny's son's path to an autism diagnosis was a scary and medically complicated one, and much more dramatic than the (equally hard and frustrating, just less life-threatening) path that most families traverse. Second, Jenny sparks empathy immediately and speaks openly and candidly about how hard the experience was on her marriage and friendships. She is just a very readable and friendly author, and reading her book is almost like chatting with another mom who's just telling you her story. The final thing I appreciated about the book is that Jenny, despite what I had thought before reading the book, was actually very open-minded about a variety of treatments for autism. I had expected the book to be all about biomedical treatments, but, actually, Jenny pointed out the importance of ABA, speech therapy, parental involvement in carryover, and mentioned looking into RDI, as well. Overall, I thought that she did a nice job of describing what worked for her son without insisting that her way was the only right way for "recovering" children with autism.

On the other hand, there were a few things in the book that I didn't like. It really upset me that Jenny so frequently painted all dads of children with autism as being distant, unhelpful, uninvolved, non-partners in the treatment experience. In my experience as an SLP working with families with young children with autism, I have had a very different experience. I have worked with many fathers who have worked through the grief alongside their wives, and who have become strong advocates for their children. Also, I didn't like the way Jenny described her son as being "cured," or "recovered," at the end of the story, when in interviews since then, you can see that they are still working on social skills and higher level concept learning. I understand that her son has made dramatic and wonderful progress, but I think it's a little irresponsible to make parents think that everything will be fine and dandy for their child with autism after one year of treatment.

Overall, I recommend this book as a personal story of one family's experience with the diagnosis and intensive treatment phase for autism. As a story of one mom's transition from grief to empowerment, this book is moving and sweet. However, I caution families to remember that Jenny is not an autism expert, and to treat this book as a starting point for conversations with your own team of doctors and therapists, rather than as a guide in and of itself.

By the way, here are my all-time favorite books about treatment for autism, if you're interested.



What books are you reading right now?

Remember Tiny Moments of Awe

This is a poem I wrote five years ago about one of my sweet little students, a 5 year old with autism and OCD, who I worked with at a little country school. The cutest little boy you've ever seen, scrawny, with freckles and brown straight hair that stayed a little tousled no matter what his poor mom did to it.


2-22-05

"Easy," you say, "Easy."
Like a warning sign
or a post-it note hung on a morning mirror.

We leave the classroom in jolts as you coach your feet,
your voice,
your brain,
to be easy, tread softly on the hard surfaces.
The glaring tile of the hall,
the rough painted brick of the wall,
the sharp clicks of
the metal doors,
they are not easy.

So you clench fists and scrunch toes in tightly-tied shoes to absorb the shock of walking,
tiptoeing
down this school hall.
You clench teeth and narrow your eyes
as wave upon wave of flailing, swirling line leaders and cabooses
wiggle their way
down the opposite side of the hall,
dizzying, unpredictable.

As we pass by the library,
you are suddenly struck with wonder.
"Look!" you call out.
Your voice is no longer easy.
"Look, a galaxy!"

Stars and moons and planets and spacemen
are painted on ceiling tiles in this section of the hall.

Your face unravels from its sharp lines,
melts into a typical boy grin.
You look up at me
for the first time since leaving the classroom,
and there is awe
in the creases of your eyes.

This is what I work for.
Why I wake at dawn and drive
sleepy and fast
through the darkness of farm towns
to this dusty brick building.

"Yes, I see, it's a spaceman!" I say.
But I am looking at the older children walking across the hall.
They seem confused, as if they've missed something.

Perhaps they have.

They have likely never looked up to see the space scene before.
Their heads turn up now as we pass by,
and they too are suddenly transported,
caught up in the excitement
of a daily trek down the hall,
with a brief detour through outer space.

Speechy Sunday - My Bag of Tricks for Autism

Some of you have requested some speech ideas and tips, so I'm trying to honor that. These ideas are just general strategies that work for me, and should in no way to be taken as medical advice. If you have a child or grandchild who needs speech and language support, there is no better way to get it than in person with your very own SLP. You can find a certified SLP in your area by going here.

Today I wanted to talk about some very basic starting places for therapy with children with autism. I usually work with children in early intervention and at the preschool level, so these lists apply best to children under age 6. This is just a brief list of a "bag of tricks" that I might try on my very first visit with a kiddo with autism. Every child is different, but these little strategies and activities are the ones that I've found most successful with the families I've worked with over the years.

My Bag of Tricks: Strategies

Figure out the child’s individual motivators/special interests - Here are just a few of the many motivators/special interests I've encountered with my clients: letters, numbers, dinosaurs, Thomas the Train, coloring, being in small enclosed spaces, dropping toys down stairs/a hill/a ramp, favorite foods, Moon Sand, farm animals, Backyardigans, spinning, jumping, strong hugs, strong back rubs, hard high fives...the list goes on. Sometimes it's hard to figure out a certain child's motivators. Try to think about what the child does when left on his/her own, and sometimes that's a good clue.

Start with teaching requests - (ex: Please, More, I want it) Requests set the wheels of communication learning in motion. They are the first cog to get moving, and often bring other skills along with them.

Pair sounds with actions if you want the sounds to be imitated or used by the child - I often work on trying to get children with autism to imitate my actions first, and then to imitate sounds and actions, as well. Kids play by imitating one another's actions, and often teaching motor imitation can help social language skills, as well. (By the way, here's a cool research article about that.)

Work Hard to Connect with the Child (maybe by using their interests or some fun sensory play)

Make it fun! - I know you have an agenda...you're an adult working with a child with autism. But try to make "engaging and having a mutually fun experience" be your primary agenda. After engagement, skills will come. Don't worry! (Here's a neat review of some studies that discusses how teaching kids how to play with toys is actually an effective therapy strategy for getting kids to talk more, not just a fun experience.)

Entice the child to want to request and play. - Be a circus act! The more exciting and interesting you are as a playmate, the more you're going to get from a child. That includes attention, language, time, focus, engagement, and even learning. Think about the best teachers you had growing up. Weren't they the ones brave enough to tap dance on the table if the whole class learned their multiplication tables (like my 3rd grade teacher, Ms. English did)? If you want learning to happen, you have to know how to motivate and entice kids into the process.

Be predictable in format, but change it up regularly. - Most children with autism love predictable routines. But be sure to try to build in some changes each week or so in order to get the child used to dealing with unexpected things, and to work on flexibility.

Keep it Short and Sweet (KISS) -Overplan activities, and move on if one is not motivating/fun for the child. I absolutely love book sharing with kids. But many of my students with autism are not into books unless the book is about their special interest. Or maybe they're into books, but only want to turn the pages without actually listening to the story. So, while I try to plan book activities that are exciting like touch and feel books, or books with actions for us to do together, I usually keep these activities short, and abandon them completely if they're not working well. I'll of course keep trying, and eventually, many students will figure out the fun things we can do with books, but I have to remind myself that it's not a failure to stop a planned activity short--it's just smart. Plus, I don't want to lose my "fun cred" with the kid by forcing them to endure a boring activity.

Enlist parents/sitters/siblings as teaching partners - If you've found a fun activity that your client or child loves, by all means, teach the fun activity to the child's parents, sitters, siblings, grandparents, etc., so they can try it with them, too. I really find that I have to "plan for generalization," because many children with autism learn a skill in one setting and have a really hard time using that skill in any other setting. Quickly giving the reins to a parent once a child "gets" an activity, and being there with them to problem-solve how things are going when they're trying it out, is a wonderful way to make that generalization more likely to happen. (If you're interested, here's a neat research article about a parent-implemented treatment for kiddos with autism to help them learn imitation skills.)

Repeat Repeat Repeat - I like to begin playing with kids with autism by showing them a really interesting play routine a few times until they are interested in engaging in the routine with me. And then, once we've done the routine a few (or a zillion) times, I try to back off and see if they will fill in pieces of the routine. I find that once kiddos learn a basic play routine, and begin to be able to predict how it will work, their engagement level really jumps. And when kids are engaged, that's the point where we can get them learning!


So, that's a brief list of some of my top strategies. Now for the fun stuff. The actual activities I like best to spark a connection with a child with autism:

My Bag of Tricks: Activities (with links to toys I like & a brief script you could use to teach a play routine using these toys)
1. Spinning tops (1-2-3-go........uhoh-it stopped!)
2. Pound a Ball Toys (bang bang bang, aaaaand-out!)
3. Trains (1-2-3-go, aaaaand-stop)
4. Cars down a ramp (up up up, wheeeeee down)
5. Toys down a slide (up up up, sliiiiiiide down)

The cool thing about sharing my bag of tricks with you is that perhaps I can convince you that therapy doesn't have to be hard work. It can be fun, and doing something proactive with kiddos with autism, while having fun at the same time, can really boost a family's happiness!

If you're interested, here's a related post I wrote recently about my favorite autism treatment books. And click here for a few of my favorite autism-related websites.

Oh, and by the way, the cute bag at the top of this post was made by my friend Carla. Here's her cute etsy site if you wanna see more of her stuff.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, it made me really happy to read this article today about knitters working to provide free knitted prosthetic breasts to mastectomy patients.



What's your favorite play activity to engage in with your child (or client) with autism?