Wednesday, November 3, 2010
When guilt creeps in
It's not a pretty picture, when guilt creeps in.
As a mom who recently returned to full-time work after working part-time since my daughter was born, you can imagine that Mr. Guilt has pretty much taken up permanent residence in my psyche these days. He's unpacked his things, put them away in closets and drawers, and started leaving the cap off of my toothpaste.
And then my daughter came home today reporting that she'd been in time-out during nap time at school. For the gazillionth time this month. Given, she's 3, and could just be remembering a day last week when that happened. But Mr. Guilt points a finger at me, reminding me that if I weren't working my full-time job, the afternoons of difficult nap times and time outs would not be an issue. Instead, we would've been having perfect picnics at the park in the afternoons, celebrating the wonder that is my creative and energetic kiddo.
I think I take it too hard, the idea of my amazing daughter suffering the slightest bit. But on a day when I was at work from 7 a.m. to almost 5 p.m., when I left before my daughter woke up and came home when it was almost dark, to a daughter whose delicate self image was suffering... it was just too much. Guilt flung wide the door and stomped around with muddy boots.
I talked to my mom on the phone and actually cried. But she made me feel better, and then my hubby encouraged me to e-mail the school and try to figure things out. It's a wonderful school, with amazing and caring teachers who will completely work with me to make things right.
So I wrote an e-mail, a small positive action, which helped a bit.
Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure.
How do you deal with lousy days? How do you keep yourself from feeling guilty about the zillions of things that you can't make perfect in your life? Today I could use ideas.
By the way, Gretchen Rubin posted these ways for getting through a lousy day today. I thought it interesting that her post was so timely. Maybe it's universal to have rough days just before the time changes?