Flanna's New Hair

Flannery decided she wanted her hair cut "chin-length" last week.  It turned out to be really flattering on her!  

before

after

after - side view

What fun change have you made recently?

Spending the Night! and News!

It seems like forever since I last posted!  Sorry to be on an unannounced hiatus last week!  I got super busy with work, Spanish class, and trying to cook/clean/have it all.  :)  So, I'm going to try to catch you up on our happenings in one fell swoop.  You may need to take notes...we've been busy!

Flanna spent the night with her sweet friend Lucy last week.  She was soooo excited to go!  She kept saying, "I'm going to Lucyyyyyy's!"  She got all dolled up in her brand new hair bows from her Grammie, her bracelet from her Grandma, and a dress with a ruffle down the front.

She did great on her first sleepover that wasn't with family!  When we picked her up the next day, she was thrilled to report how she got to sleep on the top bunk of Lucy's bunk bed, and how she had sooo much fun!

And Robi and I had an evening out on the town!  We took a nice walk, then went to dinner and a movie, and it was so refreshing to have time alone to talk and relax.  This must be what life is like when you live close to family and they can steal your child for the weekend.  I sort of remember what that's like.

Speaking of which,  I have news!!!

My hubby has a new job!  Down south!  Near our family!

We'd been hoping for him to find something here in the Durham area so I could keep this dream job I have right now.  (Seriously, I currently have the best job I'll probably ever have in my whole life.)  But, alas, that was not to be.

The job he found is pretty great, though!  At a fancy schmancy school and teaching super interesting classes.

And did I mention it's near family?  Cause that's pretty huge.

We're very excited!




Where would you choose to live, if you could live anywhere at all?

Taking Stock: Happiness Resolutions Progress Report

It's that time of year already!  Time to take stock and see how I did in keeping my New Year's Resolutions for 2010.  Here are the happiness resolutions I made this year, along with my progress.


MY HAPPINESS RESOLUTIONS:

1. Learn Something: Read in Spanish at least 15 minutes 5 times per week. -  I only partially met this resolution.  I did well with it for a few months at a time, but not consistently.  I did find other ways to learn Spanish throughout my week regularly, though, including doing online Spanish verb quizzes  when I had a spare few minutes, reading easy books in Spanish (like the Little Red Hen, the Three Billy Goats Gruff, and others from this series) with my daughter, listening to the Pimsleur language series in the car on the way to and from work, and listening to Spanish/English music CDs like Hop Skip & Sing Spanish.  I'm still planning to take a Spanish class this coming spring semester, because I'd really like to perfect my past-tense use and just generally improve my comprehension of fast speech.  

2. Be social: Start a girls’ night by June. - I did have a girls' night with my neighbors.  And I've definitely made some good friends this past year.  So, even though I don't have a regular girls' night, I do have pretty regular playdates and fun outings with friends, so I think the spirit of this resolution was met.  

3. Really listen: Interview at least 5 past clients about happiness amidst struggles. - This one is partially met.  I've interviewed 3 past clients and chatted with several other clients about interviewing soon.  I've really appreciated those interviews, and love learning from the parents of the children I work with.  This project has been really inspiring to me, making me more attentive to the quality of life of my clients, and adding a greater sense of purpose to my career.  

4. Cut the chaos: Tidy up the house for 10 minutes each night, every night. - This continues to be an ongoing battle for me.  But I do have to say that this past year has been the most tidy year in my home's history.  (Yikes, what does that say about my home's tidiness history?!)   I think the ideas of having my home be a reflection of things I truly love, of making my home organized to reduce stress, and of having regular times to sort/clean-out different areas of my home (which I was inspired to do by my friend Dianne's 100-day clutter challenge) made a big difference for me.  

5. Exercise: Dance with Flannery on Mon, Wed, Fri afternoons. - This one was met for about 6 months.  And then, not so much.   I think I sense a New Year's Resolution in this area for 2011!

6. Eat Well: Bring a lunch on Tues/Thurs. - Finally, I can say a goal is met.  I typically bring my own healthy leftovers each day to work, which saves me both money and calories.  Yay!

Overall, I think just working toward these goals made me happier this year, even if they weren't all completely met.  And seeing little bits of progress throughout the year inspired me to try new things and learn more.  I'm mulling over ideas for new resolutions for next year.  I've really got to think about my top priorities and areas of my life that I most want to change.  I also think that next year, I'm really going to keep up with a resolutions chart regularly.  







How did you do with your New Year's Resolutions this past year?  Any ideas for new resolutions for 2011 yet?

Even Good Changes can be Hard

Some of you have asked how my new full time job is going. I haven't really posted much about it because I've been so busy, and really, I've been kind of unsure as to how it relates to my happiness project. I mean, this new job definitely brings me a lot of happiness. I love my new colleagues and students, and just feeling like I have a team of folks to learn from and feel connected with each day has been a wonderful change for me. And here's the kicker...I don't have to bring work home every night! That has been a wonderful change, to have my evenings free to focus on my home and family.

But then there's also the change from part-time to full-time work that has brought a lot of guilt for me. I leave for work each day before Flannery wakes up, and get home around dinner time, when there are meals to be made and laundry to be washed and dogs to be fed and baths to be taken. I've been trying to squeeze in some special playtime for us each evening, but it's so different than our long afternoons of walks and crafts back when I worked part-time. Sometimes it feels really silly and even frustrating to be teaching other people's children all day while someone else teaches my child all day.

Sigh.

Anyway, I just keep trying to remember that this summer, we'll have months of leisurely days together, and that I'm a much better mom when we're financially stable than when we're stressed about money.

I read this post over at the Four Flights of Fancy blog yesterday, and it really resonated with me. The writer is another mama who has just started back to full time work. She speaks much more eloquently than I can about the ebb and flow of accepting this new lifestyle. It's hard sometimes.

Not to whine. I fully realize that I am insanely lucky to be able to find a new wonderful job in this ridiculous economy. I'm so thankful to be able to help support my family doing something I wholeheartedly enjoy. But I try to be honest on this blog, so that's where I am right now.



How does your job relate to your own happiness and fulfillment? Do you think if you didn't work, you'd miss it?


(By the way, that cute SLP voice magnet is from CafePress. Neat, huh?)

Simplify

We've decided to simplify things this summer.

We're downgrading our apartment to one similar in size but much cheaper, just across the street from where we are now. We're decluttering and getting rid of stuff we don't use or just love. We're switching Flanna to a less expensive preschool, but one that we really like, where she'll learn about God and Jesus and fruits of the spirit and wonderful stuff like that. I'm going to be working less, maybe even just mornings like I always intend to! (Somehow the extra $ from extra work hours is always soooo appealing, but I've got to find a balance in which work doesn't constantly push to overtake my precious family time.)

All this, to hopefully get our life to be a bit more manageable on less work with more play. On less stuff and more calm. On less spending and more saving. On less comparing ourselves and more accepting ourselves.

I think the changes will be good. Hard at first. (I hate to make changes to my sweet daughter's life when she's so small and doesn't understand why!) But good in the long run.




How does your current situation compare to the life you pictured for yourself at this stage in the game? Do you think that you judge yourself by your own standards, or by comparing yourself to others? I've found that the times I feel worst about my life are times when I'm judging myself by other people's standards, or looking at myself through other people's eyes. And then I feel best about my place in life when I just look at the life we've made through my own eyes. Does this resonate with you? Or if not, what helps you accept this life as your own?

Speechy Sunday - Silly Song Games

Some of you have requested some speech ideas and tips, so I'm trying to honor that. These ideas are just general strategies that work for me, and should in no way to be taken as medical advice. If you have a child or grandchild who needs speech and language support, there is no better way to get it than in person with your very own SLP. You can find a certified SLP in your area by going here.

Today I wanted to share a little game I like to play with kiddos with autism to help them become more flexible in accepting changes to routines they've learned. (I also play this game with kids who may need help with vocabulary, and with my daughter, just because it's fun!)

Here's how it works.

First, you teach a child a simple song. You can teach it with or without hand motions. Me, I can't stop myself from using hand motions. Repetitive songs are really good, because they're easy to learn. For example, we'll start with Old McDonald. So, you teach the child Old McDonald, and maybe you limit it to 3 verses to begin with (ex: cow, duck, pig). Once you've sung this song with the child, say, 15 times in a row, and you think the child really seems to get how it works, then you throw in the fun part.

You start changing up the song a bit, until it becomes a really silly song. So, maybe you're singing,

Old McDonald Had a Farm, E-I-E-I-O
And on that farm he had a .......

Then you pause very noticeably and insert a funny or absurd word into the song using a silly voice. Like this:

And on that farm he had a....... Snowman!?! E-I-E-I-O
With a........ brrr...brrr here and a ....brr brr there, here a brr, there a brrr, everywhere a brrr brrr,
Old McDonald had a snowman!?! E-I-E-I-O!

Then you explode with laughter, and say...."A snowman?!" "How silly!" and try wait to see if the child can tell you, "No, snowmen don't belong on the farm!" Or, even better, if they offer up another silly word to add to the song the next time.

Another take on this game is to change the song completely, rather than just one element. But it's smart to start with small changes if your child is a kiddo who likes predictability. Anyway, if you think they're ready, you might try something like:

Old McDonald had a.....BOAT!?! ....E-I-E-I-O
And on that ...boat...he had an....Octopus!?!....E-I-E-I-O
With a "wiggle wiggle" here, and a wiggle wiggle there, Here a Wiggle, there a wiggle, everywhere a wiggle wiggle,
Old McDonald had a boat...E-I-E-I-O!
And again, the exploding with laughter part is a great idea to let the child know that you're being playful, not trying to teach a real new song.

Some kids may need visual cues (like a couple of toys nearby that they can choose from to use as silly words to throw into the song), but some children very quickly catch onto the silly song creative process. I've had some kids with autism make up their own cute songs rather quickly, even when novel sentences were still hard for them to create. The structure of the song and the silliness factor makes this activity pretty motivating for kids to participate in, so it's much easier to teach what we call "carrier phrases" in this silly song game than without the game structure. (By the way, the term "carrier phrases" is just SLP technical talk for sentence pieces that are really useful like "I want a ___", or "I see a ___", phrases that can be used to make a zillion different sentences just by changing one word in them.)

I remember one child I used to work with who made up the cutest song one day about her mom, using the silly song game. We had been singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider song, and this child substituted her mom in for the "sun who dried up all the rain". "Out came....Mama!! ...who dried up all the rain, so the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again!" It was really sweet that she made her mom the problem solver in the song.

My daughter loves the silly song game, which we've played pretty much all her life. Today, she was singing "Bold BacBonald Bad a Barm, Bee Bye Bee Bye Bo". Which is a whole different type of silly song game. But this is what I think is so neat about the whole silly song game. (Warning...nerd alert here!) It seems to me that once a child learns that they can substitute new words into songs to change up the meaning of the songs, then, logically, I think this could be a precursor to lots of phonological awareness skills. Like, how we can substitute new sounds into words to change up their meaning. You know, how, if you replace the /p/ in "pot" with an /h/, the new word becomes "hot." I haven't found any research about this possibility of word substitution in songs leading to the ability to do phoneme substitution tasks later, but if any of you SLP friends out there have ideas on the subject, I'd love to hear them.

In any case, the silly song game is fun for kids and for adults, and can be used to address skills ranging from flexibility in routines, to use of carrier phrases, to vocabulary building. If you have kids in your life, I hope you get to play the silly song game this week. It definitely gives me a little happiness boost when I do!