Take a Walk

Today Robi, Flannery, and I took a walk to the park to see my friend Rachel's son play a little soccer.  If you've never seen three year olds play soccer before, I have to tell you, it's pretty adorable.  Kind of chaotic and confusing, but really cute.  

Did I mention she's smitten?

Rachel's new baby Roane (okay, she's really like 7 months old now, but, still, that's pretty new, right?) was there, too, and Flannery was just smitten.  She got to "hold" Roane a few times, and was so attentive and gentle with her.  It was sweet to see a glimpse of how Flanna would be with a little one around.  She wants more than anything to have a little brother or sister.

Agh, the things that pull at my heart.  

Annnyway.  The thing is, that walk, that un-rushed time strolling to and from the park--brought me exponential amounts of happiness.  Maybe it's that it combined so many things that bring me happiness:  my family, experiencing nature, chatting with those I love, visiting with dear friends.  But really, it sort of surprised me that such a simple thing brought me such a happiness boost.  

So, if you wanna get happy, just take a walk.  

Even better, take a walk with folks you love.  

Even better, take a walk with folks you love to go visit other folks you love.  Seriously, if you do that, you just might enter the death spiral of gladness.  

Flanna crossing the "troll bridge" with Daddy-O

those eyes!

The dads

a little soccer action

my little monkey

F wanted to wear her hood backward.  Y'know, all the cool kids are doing it.  

Roane & Rachel

sweet sweet sweet 

What's your favorite place to walk to from your home?  Who do you enjoy walking with?  Go forth and get walking!  (and let me know if it makes you happier!)

Set some Goals

Why yes, I do have 8 minutes to exercise.
8 minutes, exactly. 

I've been slow to set my New Year's Resolutions in stone this year.  I've had about 8 resolutions kicking around in my head, and I've been trying to whittle it down to the most important 3, because I've decided that I can only reasonably remember 3 resolutions, and I won't stick to resolutions I can't even remember.

I keep coming back to these 3 resolutions--resolutions that I blurted out in haste when one of my friends asked me what my resolutions would be on New Year's Eve.  But once I said them, they really did seem to make sense as my biggest priorities for this year.

I'm sure you're dying of anticipation by now.

So, here they are:

My 2011 Happiness Resolutions:
1.  Exercise.
2.  Teach my daughter about God.
3.  Be a better wife to my husband.

Those are my overall goals, and here are my short-term goals to get there (the therapist in me just has to make these goals more specific, although I like the short ones above b/c they're easy to remember).

1.  Exercise - Do my "8 minutes in the morning" moves, or yoga or pilates DVDs every day, if not in the morning, then perhaps with Flanna before bed.
2.  Teach my daughter about God - I need ideas here!   I'm thinking I'd like for her to learn a song and do a craft every week based on some sort of liturgical calendar theme.  Surely someone knows of a good place for ideas in this area?
3.  Be a better wife - I think my marriage is remarkably fun and stable, but much of that is because my husband is such a lighthearted, responsible, and understanding guy.  This year, I want to try to reduce the need for understanding:  to reduce the clutter, to keep up with laundry, to have a regular date night, and to be a source of energy rather than being drained by the time I see him at the end of the day.  (Hmm, maybe being a better wife will involve getting more sleep?)

On that note, I think it's time for bed!



What are your New Year's Resolutions for 2011?

Get Moving

Yesterday, my hubby was kind enough to give my daughter her bath and put her to bed while I went for a nice long walk on Duke's East Campus. For those of you who aren't familiar with Duke's Campus, there's a track around East Campus where people walk, jog, run, bike, walk their dogs, and just generally move.

It was such a happiness boost to get out in the fresh air, to see the trees blooming, to walk fast and hear the gravel crunch beneath my feet at each step, to breathe deeply and feel the strength of this healthy body I'm blessed with. It was a wonderful way to not only get my endorphins flowing with some exercise, but to also experience nature a bit, as well.

Hooray for wonderful husbands, beautiful days, and the ability to get moving (and happy!) every now and then.



How do you squeeze exercise into your life? Or, maybe you're better at it than me, and it doesn't feel squeezed in--if so, how did you get exercise to just come naturally?

The Restorative Walk and What Babies Teach Us

About once a week or so, I'm trying to post interviews with amazing and insightful people who inspire me! This week's focus is Emily.

Emily was our daughter's nanny for a while, and was such an amazing partner for us in caring for Flanna! From the moment I met her, I knew that she was the right nanny for us, and I've never had another caregiver who's ever come close to her in the intuitive and thoughtful way she treated our daughter. Emily has a spanish degree, lived in a yurt once upon a time, has compassion for all living things, is a rescuer of animals, is married to a kind artist, is a doula, and is now a mommy to an adorable little son. She has a quiet confidence that I wish I had, and I was really thrilled that she agreed to answer my happiness questions! Here are her responses:


1. When you're feeling blue, what do you do to make yourself happier?

It depends on the shade of blue. Sometimes I like to take a walk...
actually, a walk almost always helps, but sometimes it's more
difficult to get myself out and doing it than others. If I'm stuck in
the house, I like to take a hot shower and envision all my stress
being washed out (or sometimes I imagine the water is irrigating me
with good vibes, if I'm just "down" for no identifiable cause). If I
have enough time to myself, I'll turn off the lights in the living
room and practice yoga by myself -- I don't turn on a dvd or follow
any routine, I just move and stretch until I feel better (or until the
baby wakes up).

2. What's a little thing that you do regularly that makes you happy?

I wove this little basket that hangs by my front door. It's my worry
basket. Whenever I come back home, I mentally leave my worries in that
basket. Sometimes I take a trip outside just to "put" my worries in
it! It helps that I think the basket is really cute, and I'm pretty
proud that I actually wove a tiny basket.

3. What's something you've discovered that you'd you like your
child to know about happiness?

Well, for right now, my son's the one teaching me about happiness.
He really knows how to enjoy the moment and how to let the upsetting
moments float on by. Once he's done crying, it's like it never
happened.. he can go right back to being happy, as soon as the
situation has improved. He doesn't dwell on that uncomfortably wet
diaper he had an hour ago. When someone is funny and friendly with
him, he enjoys their presence without guarding himself. When he wakes
up in the morning, he smiles and squeals and meets the day with
excitement. It truly is a brand new day for him, another opportunity
to play and explore and learn. I'm trying to wake up with that kind of
attitude, too.

----

I agree that kids are able to wipe the slate clean much more quickly than we are, and that we old folks should work toward that again. Also, a good walk does more for my happiness than a hundred dark chocolate Hershey kisses. I think that was one of the reasons I was so happy in Athens…we had such a walking lifestyle that I got exercise and sunshine and social experiences without really trying. Also, I’m super jealous of anyone who can weave anything. And while jealousy might not increase my happiness level, I do think the visualization of leaving my worries at the door is a great idea. Thanks, Emily, for your insights!



What have children in your life taught you about happiness?

Keep Growing

My daughter likes to say, "Mommy, when I get big and you get little...." It's sooo cute.

Growing is such a big part of who we are when we're young. It makes sense that it makes us happy even as old folks to continue to experience growth.

When one area of my life seems to stall (like, for instance, when money is still tight after ten years of marriage :), or when I'm still trying to figure out how to integrate regular exercise into my routine after 7 years of failed attempts), it's nice to find a small area (or two) where I can still experience growth (like how I'm learning Spanish, or how I'm almost keeping up with our laundry for the first time ever in our married life!).

Here's a quote one of my friends introduced me to. It works for me right now.

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it’s the same problem you had last year. ~ John Foster Dulles

What problems have you overcome in the last few years?

Pretend You're a Newbie

I. love. my new doctor. Don't worry. She's a girl, and Robi's cool with it. :)

I had the dreaded visit with the new doctor in this new town today. And guess what? It was fabulous! My doctor is practically a teenager (just kidding, but she IS young!) and is a resident at the clinic I went to (meaning she's still new at this doctor thing). I told her how I've been coughing for eons, so she checked me out for that, and I also got a typical physical, too.

And the cool thing was, this doctor sat and talked with me. For like an hour.

And when she asked questions, she actually sat quietly and listened while I answered. And followed up with actual insightful questions and comments. And ordered tests that made actual sense to me. And made recommendations that I didn't just roll my eyes at. (Not that I do that all that often, but sometimes doctors say things like, "Well, are you eating your vegetables?" that just make me want to go to an acupuncurist or something so that I can actually be heard.) Annnyway.

My point is that this brand new doctor was amazing. And I had to wonder if she was so amazing simply because she was new.

Remember when you were in school or were being trained to learn how to do your job? How you took notes on what people told you and tried to figure out how to do the best job you could? I think I was a pretty high achiever, but I don't think I'm the only one who can say that I probably gave my job a lot more thought when I was fresh out of school. I took more time to plan for the day ahead, made materials that exactly fit the goals I had for the next day, and didn't "wing it" quite so much as I do now. Not that there isn't a time and place for winging it. But, really, sometimes newbies are amazingly thorough in their jobs.

That's what struck me about my doctor's visit today--how thorough it was.

So, next week (face it, Friday is the worst day to start something new, so I'm going to start Monday), I'm going to try to pretend I'm a brand new SLP just meeting my brand new patients for the first time. I wonder if I'll see them differently?

Pretend you're a newbie. And see if it makes you happy to do things by the book again for a while.




And I"m also going to work to find a fun way to exercise, like my new amazing doctor suggested. Something that really fits me so I'll keep at it. Any ideas?