Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Fly Away Home
So we now have memories of flying.
Today as we were driving to the HR department at my new job (yes, I got a new job! Full time school position!), looking up at the clouds from our car as we inched through traffic, I said to Flannery,
"Remember how yesterday we were above the clouds?"
"Yeah. I remember that," she said.
"That was really cool."
"Yeah. Because I like to look out the window and see the roads all tiny," she laughs.
"Yeah, me too."
This has been a hard day.
A day of figuring out hard things.
Hard things like, how leaving my flexible part-time job for a non-flexible full-time job that pays more money is really going to be tough. Not seeing my daughter when she wakes up in the morning tough. Heart wrenching, maybe I need a valium to get through the first few weeks, tough.
Hard things like, crunching numbers and realizing that quality day care is ridiculously expensive, twice our rent expensive. So expensive that I should really keep my part-time flexible job AND my new full time non-flexible job if I want to ever end up with, oh, say, an extra few bucks to go for ice cream. I mean, an acceptance fee, one month's tuition as a deposit, and a first month's tuition, all due next week? This is where I begin to get high blood pressure.
But then I remember us flying in that plane, high above the clouds, with the tiny roads snaking their way across the South. Patches of earth glide by underneath, lush forests, and thirsty fields. Green, brown, green.
And those tiny fingers stuck to the glass of the airplane window, peering down at a world larger than she can understand. Larger than any of us can understand, really.
And I try to remind myself.
This too shall pass.
Bounty will come again.
Green, brown, green.
What hard patch in your life did you think might never end? Money problems? Sadness, loss? What helped you through?