Monday, December 7, 2009

What Spring Does

"sometimes our love is like a mountain,

solid and steep, grounded in heat and

sometimes we rage like a river

cold and fast then quiet and deep

we ride the storm

'cause when it's through

we have changed

and love is new

i want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees

i want to do with you what spring does

i want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees

i want to do with you what spring does"

These are some lyrics from one of my favorite bands of all time, the Weepies. Their music puts me in a happy place no matter how hard my day has been. They actually sing a song called the Gladdest Thing, which inspired the name of this blog. Anyway, I love the song above, Cherry Trees, because it describes something I think is so important to finding happiness in relationships: Change.

Relationships change. Constantly.

I was lucky enough to marry my high school sweetheart. You can bet that our relationship has changed over the years! We are two very different people now than we were when we met, or even when we married. But somehow we've been lucky enough to change and grow together rather than apart. What makes us different than all those couples who grow apart over time? I'm not really sure.

One theory I have, though, is that I have never expected for our relationship to stay the same for any length of time. Before we got married, I remember that my mom gave me some advice. It was something like, "There will be times when you're totally passionately in love, and there will be times when you are kind of more like roommates, and there will be times when you are completely annoyed by one another, but don't worry, because it will cycle back through." This cyclical view of relationship development made sense to me, so I never freaked out when one of us was suddenly different, because I knew that we'd figure it out again.

Another theory I have is that I am the luckiest woman on earth and have a totally amazing husband who is patient with my craziness.

Either way, I do love to watch those cherry trees change each spring.

What do you think about the cyclical development of relationships? Have you experienced this phenomenon in other relationships...with friends, colleagues, children, parents?

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