Live Your Priorities: Push away the Fog of a Hectic Life

This week has been a good one so far.  I've started volunteering at Flannery's school on Monday mornings, and it's amazing how much happiness that one change has brought me.   It's such a blessing to see her in action in her classroom, and to get to meet all of her sweet little classmates, and to see how affectionate they are with one another.  When Flannery walks into her classroom in the mornings, there are two little girls who run to her and give her hugs, calling out, "Flannery!!"  It's just adorable.

And now, when I drop her off or come by for lunch at her school, the kids all say, "Hi Flannery's mom!"  It's nice to get to know them, and to get a glimpse into the individual life and community she's creating at school.

I've also tried to focus on being more patient with my family and making time to chat together about more than just the necessities.   It's so easy to get busy and just kind of bark information to one another in the rush of the day.  Does your life get that crazy, too?  Sometimes I think that we are so polite to our coworkers and friends, but then we forget our manners when it comes to our family--the very people we care most about!  I would never speak to a client the way I rush my daughter around in the mornings.  "Get in the car!  Close the door!"  And I should give her the most consideration, as she's my darling girl!   I'm trying to work on that.

Yesterday, we had a special "ice cream date" after I picked her up from school, and I made a point to just soak in the moment and really listen to her as she picked out only the chocolate chip cookie dough from her mini blizzard. :)  I also have been trying to ask more about the specifics of my hubby's day, because I just feel more connected and calm, and it's easier to be patient and easy-going, when I know what was hard and what was easy for him that day at work.  Sometimes I feel like the "fog" of hectic life descends on us as a family, and I have to really step back and take strong action to get us back to living our priorities.

I have a long way to go, I know, but a few little steps toward living my priorities make for a pretty big happiness boost for me.  Which keeps me going toward the next set of baby steps.  




Do you feel sometimes that the fog of a hectic life surrounds you?  What baby steps can you take this week toward living your priorities?  

Live Your Priorities

Guess what?  My daughter had a friend stay the night tonight.  And they're already asleep!  At 8:25!  I almost don't want to write it down so I don't jinx it.

Annnnyway.  This post was to be about priorities.

Today, as I was washing dishes, I couldn't stop thinking about whether my life was reflecting my priorities.  I had spent a wonderful morning with my daughter...walking our dogs, playing at the park, enjoying the early light of the sun coming up together.  But I kept thinking that most of my day today was spent cleaning, doing laundry, playing catch-up on everything that slides toward chaos during the work week.

I wrote a post way back when about living my priorities, and the question I asked myself and my readers was, "If someone tried to determine your priorities in life based solely on your actions, do you think they would be fairly accurate? If not, what are some barriers to living your priorities right now?"
  
Today I did a little exercise to help me think through this.  I wrote down how much time per week I devote to each area on my priority list.  Then, being the nerdy visual learner that I am, I made a pie chart (pretty easy using a google doc spreadsheet, by the way).  I'm not going to tell you the order I rank my priorities just yet.

So, here's what it looked like:

Can you guess the order of my priorities?  Based on the time I spend on each, it would seem to be that they're ordered this way:
Work
Child
Home
God
Husband
Extended family
Friends/World

But, no.  Actually, I rank my priorities in the order they're listed on the key to the pie chart.  Yikes, huh? You might never know that by my current actions, it seems.  Now, I expected that work would definitely fill the major chunk of my week, but I was surprised at how the other categories ranked.

So, I've got some work to do.    Good to know.

What keeps you from living your priorities right now?  For me, it's money.  We're working on getting out of debt, so it's important to us to maximize our income for the next few years.  Which means I work uber full time.  It makes intellectual sense, but it's still hard.  

Sometimes Fun Trumps Laundry

Last weekend, it was kind of cold and rainy, so my daughter and I were stuck in the house trying to find fun things to do. After we had baked something and painted (my usual stand-by ideas for fun), and when Flanna didn't want to play with play-dough (my other fall-back fun indoor activity), I had an idea to have an indoor egg hunt. We only had 12 plastic eggs, so the hunts went pretty quickly. I would hide them and then she would seek them, and then she'd hide them, and I'd seek them. I was surprised at some of the tricky hiding places she used!

And the cool thing about our day was that, even though I really needed to be doing my dishes and laundry, I made a conscious choice to choose fun. (It helps that this choice fits with my Happiness Commandment #4.) And it payed off in big happiness dividends.

Now, of course, I can't choose fun over laundry every day. But on days when I can, I feel like I'm actually living my priorities, instead of just "getting by." And that's a pretty nice feeling.



How did you live your priorities this week?

Live Your Priorities

I read a book once (OK, so I’ve read it 3 times now, but anyway) called The Creative Counterpart. It was the first book that I ever read that actually made me want to change my life. It’s about how to be the wife, mother, and person that you want to be. Anyway, one of the most important things I learned from that book was to translate my priorities into actions. This was a radical way of thinking for me. Up until I read that book, priorities were ideals that I of course held, but that I didn’t expect myself to do much about. Linda Dillow, the author of the book, though, did something eye-opening to me---she actually wrote in her calendar each week which of her priorities she was going to focus on for that day and then DID it. For example, Monday she might focus on her children and have a special game night with the kids. Tuesday, she might focus on the home and be sure that she got some laundry done. Wednesday, she might focus on her husband and write a special note to him thanking him for what he had done that week. Thursday she might focus on her spirituality and have a special quiet time in the morning for prayer. This might not sound all that amazing to you, but it reshaped how I thought about priorities. They weren’t just ideals anymore…they were how I should allot my time each week. Here is an ordered list of my priorities right now (it changes sometimes, so I won’t say it’s always going to stay this way).

God

Husband

Child

Work

Home

Extended Family

Friends/World

There are times when work falls down below home and extended family, and that’s how I’d love my life to be ideally, but right now I’m a co-breadwinner, and so work has to remain a high priority for me.

If someone tried to determine your priorities in life based solely on your actions, do you think they would be fairly accurate? If not, what are some barriers to living your priorities right now?