Thursday, June 1, 2017

Accept Help Gracefully

My view from bed, as my hubby greeted the pup this morning.
Today, I was very sick.  I woke up early in the morning to prepare some food for a pot-luck I was planning to attend at work today.  But within moments, I felt shaky and nauseated and just downright horrible.  A stomach bug had struck!

Luckily, it must've been a short-lived bug, because I felt much better by this evening.

But the thing that struck me today, was that immediately when I told my husband I was feeling sick, he jumped out of bed and got to work helping me.  He brought me ginger ale.  He turned on all of our fans, so I wouldn't be hot.  He got out the cleaning supplies and lysol.  He brought me a bucket.  He brought me a bell to ring in case he was downstairs and couldn't hear me.  He checked on me every half hour or so.  I felt so cared for.

It occurred to me that I am a grown-up and could probably have gotten all of those things for myself, even in my sick state.  I felt a little guilty that my busy hubby had to take time out of his day to help me.  Several times, I apologized to him, for being so needy.

But when I thought about it, I realized that if the tables were turned, I would want him to accept my help without feeling guilty about it.  I would want him to feel cared for and safe without having to apologize for needing help or care.  I would be honored to be able to help him, because I love him and being helpful is one way I like to show love.

And so I tried to just accept help, and appreciate his kind care, rather than feeling bad about needing help.

I do think that many times in loving relationships, if people don't accept help gracefully, it can put others off. A friend or family member who thinks they are being loving by doing things for others constantly but who never accepts help from others, can seem to be keeping other people at a distance, even if they don't mean to.  I think it's something we need to consider about ourselves.  How do our rejections of help, or our expressions of guilt, or our apologies when we do receive help, affect the person trying to lovingly give us care or help?  Does it make them feel that we aren't as close as they thought, because we are uncomfortable being needy in front of them?

Let's try to be graceful in accepting help from those we love.



Have you ever noticed this? How gracefully do you accept help from your loved ones?  How can you be better about this? 



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