Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Create "I Love You" Rituals

I'm reading a book called "I Love You Rituals" right now that is really interesting.  It gives lots of ideas of ways to increase your bond/attachment and trust with young children.  I'm really enjoying it when I have a spare second to read it (which hasn't been all that often these past weeks).

Anyway, one of the little "I Love You Rituals" the author suggests is the "What did you bring home from school today?" ritual.  It goes like this:

When you pick your child up or first see your child after school, you ask, "What did you bring home from school today?"  But then instead of focusing on objects or clothing, you describe the child's physical or personality characteristics.  For example, today I told Flanna:  "You brought your long dark eyelashes.  You brought your rosy pink cheeks.  You brought your golden eyes.  You brought your hair that curls up at the ends.  You brought a scratch on your chin.  You brought two freckles on the back of your arm.  You brought your sweet smile and laugh.  You brought your kind heart and spirit.", etc.  The point of the game is to help your child feel very specifically noticed, regarded, and loved.

I've played it a few times with Flannery this week, and she has been so cute, offering up other ideas of things she has brought home (boo-boos, new band aids, rocks for her rock collection, etc.).   And I really do think it has helped her feel less rushed from school when I pick her up and more positively noticed and appreciated.

Now, if someone can just write a book about how to make kids fall asleep before 9 p.m. after the time change!   I am ready for things to get back to normal!

How do you make the people you love feel noticed and special?

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