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Showing posts with label reflect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflect. Show all posts

Monday, November 21, 2011

Reflect

Today was a milestone.  My sweet little girl turned five.
Five years old.  I just can't believe it has come so quickly.  Time has flown, and suddenly I am on the verge of mothering a kindergartener.

 I'm thankful, of course.  I have friends who have lost their daughters, who never got to see this milestone.  And I know that it's a gift.  

It's a real gift to get to watch this amazing and creative little spirit grow and change.  It's a gift to get to guide her into realizing all her wonderful insight and talent and strength.  It's a gift to get to experience the world anew each time she learns something or does something for the first time.    It's a gift to get to watch my husband as such a patient and gentle father, and my parents as grandparents.  

Each day, each year, --it's a gift.  But I still want it to slow down.  Maybe this is why blogging means so much to me.  It's a way to capture these beautiful busy days, to focus on the bigger picture amidst the chaos of appointments and meetings and deadlines and play-dates.  It's a way to reflect.  





How do you find ways to reflect on your life here and there?  Do you think reflecting makes you happier?


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

On Luck

It's almost New Year's Eve.  I am on vacation, staying with my in-laws down South.  I sit in a quiet office with my dog Padme dozing in the chair beside me.  My daughter is asleep down the hall.  My husband works at his laptop in the kitchen, coding and thinking and coding again.  My in-laws watch TV and get ready for bed in another part of the house.  It's quiet except for the hum of a small heater running at my feet, beside which my tiny black dachshund, Annie, sleeps.

And here I sit in a cozy chair, my mother-in-law's chair, and think about the past year.  About my happiness project.  About my life, about my friends' lives.

And all I can think, is, "How did I get so lucky?"

Some people say there is no luck, that things happen for a reason.

But this year, my friends have lost parents.  Have lost children.   Have lost babies yet unborn.  Have lost jobs.  Have lost homes.  Have lost dogs they loved.  Have discovered cancer.  Have had children diagnosed with disabilities.  Have fought disease and pain.  Have battled depression.  Have faced infertility.  Have faced bankruptcy.  Have lost more in a year than some lose in a lifetime.

And I see no reason behind the suffering.  No reason.

It could have been me, in any of those situations.  But, instead, I got to watch my beautiful daughter flourish and grow.  To see my wonderful husband do productive and interesting work.  To work, myself, in not one but two rewarding jobs.  To have a healthy, loving, and supportive immediate and extended family.

Tonight, I sit in a comfortable, quiet house at peace with those I love and those who love me.

I'm exceptionally lucky.

I appreciate that, and I mourn for the moments of peace my friends are missing out on because of loss, illness, stress, or hardship this year.  I think this quote (from an interview on the Happiness Project blog) sort of fits my thought process today:

 "..it’s a good thing to know life is short, to appreciate people’s – my own and others' - strengths and weaknesses, to love, and to feel grateful for what I have."   

Boy, way to ring in the new year on a dark note, eh?  I promise a more uplifting tone to tomorrow's post!  But sometimes we gotta get sad to get happy, right?


Have you felt lucky or unlucky this year?   And do you think all things happen for a reason?


(By the way, this  blog by my friend Rachel, who lost her daughter in a car accident in October, has meant so much to me this year, by making me continually contemplate the big picture and appreciate every precious day I get to experience with my family.)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Reflect on Happy Memories


I love looking back at photos from years ago. There's something about a photo that just takes me back to that feeling I had in the moment. Thank goodness no one saved photos of me all melancholy as a teenager--I'd hate to relive those days! But reflecting on happy times really brings me joy.

My daughter loves to look back at her "baby book," too, and often asks me to "read" it at night as one of her books before bed. She loves the part where the doctor proclaims that's she's a strong baby because of her good strong cry when she was born.

I was looking back at our Halloween photos from the time Flannery was very small, and I just had to share some of the them. It has been such a blessing to get to share fun times with my family.










What photo brings you a happiness boost every time you see it?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Reflect on Your Story

Some of you have requested some speech ideas and tips, so I'm trying to honor that. These ideas are just general strategies that work for me, and should in no way to be taken as medical advice. If you have a child or grandchild who needs speech and language support, there is no better way to get it than in person with your very own SLP. You can find a certified SLP in your area by going here.
"The diary of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it." -James Matthew


I know this quote doesn't seem all that speechy. But give me a second.

When I was in Georgia, I was trained pretty intensively in an early intervention model called Teaming or Coaching, or the Primary Service Provider Model. Whatever you call it, the general idea was that early intervention services were provided to every child in our program by a whole team of service providers: a speech language pathologist, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, a social worker, a developmental specialist, a nutritionist, etc. So, each family in our program was assigned the whole team to support them, and then one of us served as the "coach" for the family to do the hands-on day-to-day support to help the child develop and grow. Our team met regularly to discuss concerns and to help one another with problem-solving any issues that we were having with the families we served. But for the actual service delivery portion of our work, there was just one therapist for each family.

That's right. Each family got just one of us to deliver the services and meet the goals that the whole team developed. You can imagine that we SLPs were pretty intimidated at first if a child we were assigned also had some motor concerns, and WE were the ones to provide support for all of those issues. I was not convinced at first that it was going to work, or that it was best for the kiddos we served. We were allowed covisits (visits where I would bring a PT or OT with me for a session with the child), and I was only willing to serve a few kiddos because I knew that I could have tons of covisits with the "motor" experts along with me.

But the amazing (and sort of surprising!) thing is, this teaming model worked. Fast.

Kids on our team met their goals in record time. Goals that I had initially written thinking they'd be met in around 6 months were being met in 2 or 3 months. Children were actually making so much progress that they didn't qualify for early intervention services anymore, before they aged out of the program! To put it bluntly, team kids were way outperforming kids who were being served on the traditional model.

We were surprised. We tried to figure out what was different. I mean, more services typically equals faster recovery, right? So when services were pared down to just one therapy type, how could it be that we were seeing faster progress?

After a few months of trying to figure out what was different about this new model, we finally determined that there were 2 key things that were happening for our team kids that weren't happening for our traditional model kids:
1) Because our program was new, we spent time during each of our team meetings to reflect on how it was working and how we could make it better.
2) We were building-in parent reflection (not just participation) and problem-solving opportunities into each session for our team kids.

What came out was this idea of reflection.

Apparently, when we as therapists continuously reflect on our performance and how it can improve, it actually does improve.

And when therapists support parents in becoming reflective problem-solvers for their children, their children make progress.

So now, back to the quote. Is it a reach, or do you think it applies here, too? When we take a look at the story we are trying to write for the kids we work with, as compared to the story that's actually being written, we're reflecting on what we're doing. And there's something about reflecting on things that makes us get humble pretty quickly. That makes us get our tail in gear and work hard to get a little better at whatever it is we're doing.

Parenting. Cooking. Teaching a child his /r/ sound.

So next time you've just had a great therapy session (or a terrible one, even!), take time to reflect on it. Whether you're the parent or the therapist, or the babysitter bringing the child to therapy, what strategy from today really made the difference? What just didn't work at all? Reflect, and then get to work with that new understanding you've gained.

---
There's a lot of research on reflective practice for educators. But here are some interesting articles about teaching physical therapists and even engineers to be more reflective practitioners, as well.



How do you build in moments to reflect on your life, on your work, on your family? For example, I blog; I sometimes write letters; I do progress reports for my speech kiddos.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Best and Worst


Most of the time when I ask my daughter what her day at school was like, she says, "I don't remember." She's 3, so maybe she doesn't remember. But lately I've been tricking her into telling me a little more info, and here's how:

I'll say, "What were the Best and Worst things about today?"

And then, she'll say something like, "The best was, I made a blue picture", or "The worst was, I fell off of the swing", or if I'm lucky, she might even say something like, "The best was when you came and had lunch with me." Hey, I'm going to enjoy those for the short time they last!

I also like to use the "Best and Worst" strategy after we've gone somewhere together as a family, to review it on our way home. I love hearing what each person's best and worst were. It's a good icebreaker for those shy or quiet family members, and it's a nice way to figure out what each person likes best, too.

One word of warning, though. We as parents tend to want our kids to never experience a "worst" situation. But I think it's good for kids to talk about bad stuff, as important as processing the good stuff. So, when your child says, "The worst was when we saw that monkey who was so loud!" on the way home from the zoo, you have to catch yourself from saying, "Oh, that wasn't so bad, really!" The bad stuff can be validated, and kids actually move on more quickly from it if their feelings are reflected back without judgment. So, you could say something like, "Yeah, you didn't like that part at all!", or "You thought those monkeys were too loud!" My favorite child -talk authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (authors of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk) really convinced me of the importance of reflecting back what kids say to us, so that they learn to trust their own intuition about things.

Anyway, some of my happiest memories are things that at the time, I had listed as my "best" for the day. Maybe saying the moment out loud to others soon after it happened solidified it in my memory...I'm not sure. But, in any case, the "Best and Worst" strategy is one I'm going to keep using whenever I can!

So, for today: My best thing was snuggling on the couch with my dogs at the end of the day.
My worst thing was the horrible dizzy nauseating icky migraine I had.


What ice breaker strategies do you use to get your family to open up to one another?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Resolutions? What Resolutions?

2010 is slipping by at breakneck speed so far. Really, it just can’t be the last week of February already!

I had fully intended to do a monthly review of my progress on my happiness resolutions. But here we are two months into them. Hmph.

Better late than never?

Just to review, my happiness resolutions for 2010 are:

MY HAPPINESS RESOLUTIONS:
1. Learn Something: Read in Spanish at least 15 minutes 5 times per week.
2. Be social: Start a girls’ night by June.
3. Really listen: Interview at least 5 past clients about happiness amidst struggles.
4. Cut the chaos: Tidy up the house for 10 minutes each night, every night.
5. Exercise: Dance with Flannery on Mon, Wed, Fri afternoons.
6. Eat Well: Bring a lunch on Tues/Thurs.

And my progress on those goals (this is so like IEP/IFSP Progress Reporting that it’s making me laugh!) is:

1. Learn Something:
Yep, I’m pretty much doing this one! Yay! That’s probably because I just love Spanish and choose to do it long before I’d choose other stuff like, oh, say, laundry or cooking. Right now, I’m reading “Spanish Verbs for Dummies.” And as much as I thought I’d hate the whole “For Dummies” take on learning Spanish, I have to admit it’s been pretty enjoyable.

2. Be social:
Good thing I gave myself a lot of leeway on this one. The three women I’ve connected with so far in Durham seem to have completely opposite schedules than I do. But I’m holding out hope, because I really think hanging out with other women boosts my happiness really quickly.

3. Really listen:
Um, no progress yet. I haven’t been brave enough to bug my past clients. But I think their stories are so interesting that I should push through my discomfort. It can also be therapeutic to write or tell your own story, so maybe I should think of it that way. Okay. This one will happen.

4. Cut the Chaos:
My house has seen a pretty drastic change in its crazy mess level, so that’s been good. I can’t say I’ve cleaned up every night, but I’ve been more consistent about doing dishes and laundry, and I’ve decluttered a TON of stuff, thanks to my friend Dianne’s Clutter Therapy challenge. So, yes, we’re moving in the right direction here. Hooray!

5. Exercise:
This one has happened probably once a week instead of three times a week. But, hey, that’s progress.

6. Eat well:
The therapist in me wants to put “50% accuracy” here. ☺ When I plan ahead the night before, I do take a lunch and don’t eat a McDonald’s snack wrap in between clients. I’ve even managed to pack a thermos of coffee a few times. Which saves me money and keeps me from getting some calorie-rific latte from Starbucks so I can make it through the day. (Seriously, did you know a Vanilla Latte has 320 calories!!?!! Yikes!)

So, has my mediocrity inspired you yet? I haven't even kept all of my happiness resolutions very well, but I can still honestly report that I'm feeling happier so far in 2010 than I have in quite a while.

Here's to growth!

And not the kind that comes from my (darn-I-wish-I-didn't know-they-had) 320 calorie lattes!


What were your new year’s resolutions? How are you doing with them?

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Reflect on the Good Stuff



Today I'm reflecting on the good stuff that happened in the past year. Here's my list so far:

1. My husband graduated with his Ph.D.!
2. My husband got a really cool post-doc position
3. I learned a lot of Spanish!
4. Our daughter turned 3!
5. Our daughter started a morning preschool program that we ALL really love.
6. I got to go to Disney and the beach with my family!
7. My niece officially got adopted, finally!
8. We somehow managed to move in next to the BEST neighbors in the world!
9. We got to spend extended time with our extended family at both Thanksgiving and Xmas.
10. Our dog Padme turned out not to have cancer, after a strange tumor scare.

What wonderful and amazing things happened in your life this past year?