Marking the Passage of Time

At the park yesterday, Flannery found a stack of logs on top of which she declared herself to be the "Queen of All the Playground!"    The logs were newly cut and perfect for counting the rings that mark the tree's growth each year.  So, we counted, and the tree was over 40 years old.  Some of the years were obviously years of bounty and moisture, when the tree grew a good bit, and other years looked like they were perhaps drought years, because the rings were thinner.

It made me think about how our life is so much like that in retrospect.  Years of bounty, ease, health.  Seasons of illness, fear, grief.  Some years we grow so much.  And other years, we just hang on for dear life hoping to make it through intact.

I hope that one day, my daughter will look back on this childhood of hers as years of "thick ringed" growth.  As much as our life has been at times uncertain--with Robi job-hunting, and me being sick, and being stretched for money and time, and figuring out life in a new city--I really think that these years with Flannery home with us are "bounty years."  It's such a beautiful thing to get to watch her grow and learn, and to be able to be a part of her everyday.  I know it won't be like that forever, and she'll be off to college and making her own life in the blink of an eye.  As it should be.

But for now, I'm tracing my fingers on the rough rings of a tree trunk.  Listening to Flanna hum a Valentine song.  Watching the sunlight stream through her hair.   Marking the passage of time.

And trying to hold all these things in my heart.

Has the past year been a year of thin or thick ringed growth for you?   Does time seem to move quickly or slowly for you at this point in your life? 

How Time Flies!

He loved the touchable cat whiskers in this book.

We visited with some good friends in Athens last weekend and got to catch up with them and see their beautiful growing baby boy!  Flannery was so sweet with him, and looked out for him the way older children often do with little ones.   It was so good to get to see what wonderful, gentle, and loving parents our friends have turned out to be. 

I can't believe how quickly he is leaving the baby stage, though!  Time rushes by these days, and I just want to slow it down sometimes!

Flannery looking out for the little one

At what time in your life has time passed most quickly for you?  For me, time was so slow when I was a child, and these past 4 years that I've been a mom have sped by!

Live Your Priorities

Guess what?  My daughter had a friend stay the night tonight.  And they're already asleep!  At 8:25!  I almost don't want to write it down so I don't jinx it.

Annnnyway.  This post was to be about priorities.

Today, as I was washing dishes, I couldn't stop thinking about whether my life was reflecting my priorities.  I had spent a wonderful morning with my daughter...walking our dogs, playing at the park, enjoying the early light of the sun coming up together.  But I kept thinking that most of my day today was spent cleaning, doing laundry, playing catch-up on everything that slides toward chaos during the work week.

I wrote a post way back when about living my priorities, and the question I asked myself and my readers was, "If someone tried to determine your priorities in life based solely on your actions, do you think they would be fairly accurate? If not, what are some barriers to living your priorities right now?"
  
Today I did a little exercise to help me think through this.  I wrote down how much time per week I devote to each area on my priority list.  Then, being the nerdy visual learner that I am, I made a pie chart (pretty easy using a google doc spreadsheet, by the way).  I'm not going to tell you the order I rank my priorities just yet.

So, here's what it looked like:

Can you guess the order of my priorities?  Based on the time I spend on each, it would seem to be that they're ordered this way:
Work
Child
Home
God
Husband
Extended family
Friends/World

But, no.  Actually, I rank my priorities in the order they're listed on the key to the pie chart.  Yikes, huh? You might never know that by my current actions, it seems.  Now, I expected that work would definitely fill the major chunk of my week, but I was surprised at how the other categories ranked.

So, I've got some work to do.    Good to know.

What keeps you from living your priorities right now?  For me, it's money.  We're working on getting out of debt, so it's important to us to maximize our income for the next few years.  Which means I work uber full time.  It makes intellectual sense, but it's still hard.  

Time Management, Time Schmannitchment.

I was looking over my happiness commandments, and I realized I haven’t really written about #10: Be Prompt and Polite. That’s probably because this is the happiness commandment I have the hardest time keeping. I’m very polite, I think, but I am the least prompt person I know.

And yet I somehow managed to procreate with the most prompt person on the planet (by the way, that witty alliteration was unintentional! I just noticed it when I re-read this before posting it!). So in order to keep from driving said spouse off the side of a cliff, I have worked and worked on being more prompt. I’ve read books on the subject. I’ve researched it online. I’ve tried to scientifically modify my own behavior.

And all this research has led me to the conclusion that I have poor temporal perception, that I underestimate the amount of time it takes to complete activities, and that I try to squeeze too many tasks into the amount of time allotted.

Yikes! I’m a time management mess!!

Julie Morganstern, organizer extraordinaire, recommended in one of her books to actually take a week and time yourself in all the activities that you normally do. Since the times will vary, doing this over a week will allow you to figure out the average amount of time it takes to get tasks done. I have never been focused enough to do this, but I do think it’s great advice.

The things I’ve done that have worked to make me more prompt include getting up earlier in the morning, preparing everything ahead of time in the evening, overestimating driving time between clients’ homes, starting to end speech visits long before I think I should end them (which it turns out is usually right about on-time), and planning to be places 15 minutes early so that I can catch up on some reading while waiting once I’m already there. This last one is a sort of behavior modification program I came up with for myself, and works when my schedule isn’t crammed to the gills. Which is rare. But at least I’m working on it. (Insert sigh for my poor prompt husband here. Oops, again with the alliteration..this is getting scary.)

The thing is, on days when I actually get up early, and have things prepared ahead of time, and am on time to all my appointments, it really does give me a happiness boost. So you would think that would be reinforcing in and of itself. But I guess not enough. Ugh. I think I need to read Julie Morganstern's book again for some inspiration.

One day, I will be both prompt and polite, and a peck of pickled peppers.



Do you think it’s rude for people to be late? What helps you be on time for things?

Reflect on the Mystery of Time

Today I mentioned to a dad at the park that my little girl is going to turn 4 next November. And I had this strange dizzy feeling as I said it, that the world was spinning very fast, and time was passing way too fast, and this life that I love and try to make happy is flying by at breakneck speed.

It almost made me cry.

Now, I know I'm a sentimental softie, and I'm also exhausted and a little sick with allergy stuff right now. But the moment in the park today, combined with the fact that one of my best friends just celebrated her 40th birthday (as she waits to be chosen as an adoptive mama), really got to me.

Time. It is mysterious.

Me. I'm not so mysterious. But I was just 8 years old, like, yesterday. Sitting in a tree writing poems in the woods. Making up sad songs and dreaming about my future husband and future children and future job. (By the way, that's me with the red hair in the picture.)

And now, this is my life. The life I dreamed about in the tree. It's real, fleeting, hard, tough, and pretty amazing most days. I've really got to take it all in. Open my eyes and watch. And listen.

I'm working on it.

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Oh, by the way, I just found out that I love the Finches. This song of theirs, called "The House Under the Hill" really seemed to fit the whole "life flying by" theme of my day, so here are the lyrics if you're interested. Better yet, listen to it for the full effect.


The House Under The Hill :

Well, I'm the same kid I was
Out in the schoolyard
Hallowed my pockets with sticks
From the parking lot
Alone

Though I walked alone
I was sure there was somebody
There on my shoulder, quietly guiding me
Home

I counted to 1000, 2000, and even
Math game and nicknames for friends
That I rarely meet
But years roll along, along so graciously
And so gracefully we age into infinity
Oh

There is a house under a hill
With no windows, with no doors
And everything I've ever lost is there
Between the boards and beams
Oh, old friendships
Old virginity
A younger little ghost of me
Together, they are celebrating
All the time they've gained:
"Tonight, again, we celebrate
another tiny gain!"

Alone, I am nameless
And fearless and faceless
I see just my knees
And two hands held in front of me
Mine for this lifetime
So kindly I'll treat them
My blood pumps
My lungs bellow
So I will let them be.

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Does time feel fast or slow to you at this stage of your life?