Pray without Ceasing

I used to hear people use the term, "prayer warrior," and it sort of made my skin crawl. It seemed so holier than thou. And sort of creepy to think of a spiritual battle ground going on behind the scenes of everyday life.

But someone called me a prayer warrior the other day. Someone I know and love dearly.

And I was humbled.

From this person, it seemed like a huge compliment, an honor, to be called a prayer warrior.

Anyway.

The thing is, I don't pray as often as I think I should. I don't have a consistent time I set aside each day for prayer. I don't have any sort of prayer routine yet, although I really wish I did.

But, in the past year or so, prayer has become a big part of what I do each day. Any time I have a free second--in the car, waiting in line at the ATM, cuddling quietly with my daughter--my mind is usually drawn to prayer. Not because I'm a great person or a very disciplined person. Just because I care deeply about the people around me. And it seems to me that every person I know is fighting their own private battle of some sort. Big battles with no easy solution. And those battles are constantly on my mind. Job searching in a bad economy, health issues, financial issues, fertility issues, figuring out how life works with a child with a disability, trying to find a diagnosis for your child's rare disorder, loss of a parent, loneliness...it seems no one is spared and given an "easy" life.

Maybe I'm a worrier. A little anxious sometimes. Or a lot of the time. But my mind stops and rests on these concerns of my friends, family, and clients about a thousand times a day. Is that normal? I really don't know.

But I think that's why I pray. Because of my busy mind. And my wonderful friends and family and clients who are brave enough to divulge real life difficulties to me, to open up about their own little stories, their own little trials, and big trials. And huge trials.

And it doesn't hurt that I'm a member of an online prayer group through my old church. The other members of this prayer group--now they're the prayer warriors. Me, I'm not sure. That word still makes me a little nervous. But maybe I'm at least beginning to have the instinct to pray without ceasing.

In any case, prayer brings me a lot of happiness. It brings me calm and peace, and a feeling of connection with those I'm praying for, and with God and the angels and saints. Does that sound crazy? In Orthodoxy, we believe that we can pray to saints to ask them to pray for us, too. And that when we are in church worshiping, the saints and angels are singing and praying along with us. So even if we're the only person besides a priest in a service, there's really a whole crowd of saints and angels worshiping alongside us. I really think it's such a beautiful image. And sorry if I make any non-Orthodox folks out there cringe...I know it's a lot to swallow. But the communion with the saints stuff is really a big part of why prayer has been so meaningful to me lately.



If you pray, why is prayer meaningful for you? How often do you pray? Do you pray with words or just general thoughts? Do you hold images in your head when praying? Do you think that prayer makes you feel happier or more connected--to people and to the spiritual world?


By the way, the icon at the top of the post is Saint Melania the Younger. I took her name when I became Orthodox, so my Orthodox name is Melania. Check out her story if you're interested.

Remember Screw-ups who Became Bible Heroes, and other Wisdom

About once a week, I'm trying to post interviews with amazing and insightful people who inspire me! This week's focus is Amy.

I grew up with Amy. We went to church together at the Hampton United Methodist Church when we were growing up, and also went to school together from preschool to high school. We went to different colleges, and she moved back to our home turf after getting her master’s and getting married. She’s a full-time mom now to an adorable little toddler, and she also works as a Minister of Christian Education at her church. She’s always been one of those people who just seemed to me to have it all together. She stuck to her morals even when it wasn’t cool, and some of the best most thoughtful conversations of my life were ones I had with her in middle school. Seriously, she was just thoughtful about life from an early age. I hope you’ll be as inspired as I was by her replies to my happiness interview questions.

1. When you're feeling blue, what do you do to make yourself happier?

I frequently struggle with anxiety and depression, so this is a question I ask myself often. When I start to feel a bout of depression coming on (and it does, like waves) I try to do two things. First, I try to re-center my life around God. When I see myself as the world sees me, I get depressed. I'm not wealthy or gorgeous and I spend more time changing diapers and cleaning house than doing fun things. My first impulse to combat depression is to drink more (which helps a bit, hah!), spend money I don't have on clothes I don't need, or buy more makeup. When this doesn't help as a long-term solution, I open up my Bible and remind myself that I am of great worth and that God, fully knowing what an incompetent adult I've turned out to be, still loves me. I enjoy reading Bible stories about screw-ups who turned out to be important people: David, Paul, Rahab, etc. This helps immensely.
The second thing I try to do is focus on other people. When you try to help someone else out, it's easier to forget how crummy you feel about your own life. Plus, it helps you feel grateful for the many blessings you do have. My new mantra is "I could be in Haiti." I'll get all bent out of shape about sitting in traffic when there are people in Haiti who are hungry and homeless and looking for loved ones. My problems are so small in comparison!

2. What's a little thing that you do regularly that makes you happy?

I lose myself in a good book.

3. What's something you've discovered that you'd you like your child(ren) to know about happiness?

I want my daughter to know that happiness isn't something you get from other people or from any tangible objects. When we have a relationship with God, we can have happiness (peace) regardless of our circumstances. I'd also like to tell her that this process isn't as easy as it seems. It takes constant work to remind yourself of this truth. Please remind me of this if you run in to me at CVS with a basket full of makeup. : )

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I love the idea of remembering that we are of great worth, and that many pretty royal screw-ups turned out to be biblical heroes in the end! I've also heard a lot of my friends say that comparing themselves to those in Haiti has made them appreciate their lot in life more these days. Sometimes contemplating sadness can actually lead us toward happiness, or at least toward noticing good things. And I also agree that we have to work at it to be happy or at peace. Here's to working at it...that's what this whole blog is about!



What about yourself do you think is "of great worth"?