Woodstove+Book+Dog = One Happy Texter

What? Me, interview you?

About once a week, I've been trying to post interviews with amazing and insightful people who inspire me. Today, I'm focusing on someone who has inspired me (and sometimes bossed me) to do the right thing more times than I can count. Someone who has helped me maintain my faith regardless of my phase in life, and who has never been afraid to make big changes in her life when they needed to be made.

Yep, the bossy part gave it away. It's my sister! (she's the blonde in the pic, by the way!)

Seriously, Jessica is a pretty amazing person, if I do say so myself. She's a single mom by choice who was brave enough to be a rather young foster mom to some adorable kiddos, one of whom she (finally!) officially adopted last year (yay!!!). She's also one of those people who is gifted in the ability to communicate with teenagers, which is not exactly the average layman's forte. She's somehow able to be straightforward without being pushy and to be supportive without being nosy. I have no idea how she does it, but she just gets the turmoil that is growing up. Did I mention she's a high school teacher? Talk about finding your niche.

Oh, and I forgot my favorite thing about her. She's completely cheesy. I mean it. Her cards and notes will just make you cry if you're not careful. (I'm kinda cheesy, too. I think maybe we get that from our mom, who's never been afraid to say what needs to be said even if it embarrassed us (i.e., "I love you SO much, sweetie!" in front of our cool friends on the first day of high school).)

Anyway, here are Jessica's answers to my happiness interview questions:

1. How do you cheer yourself up when you're feeling blue?

it depends on why i'm feeling blue. if it's a work issue, i go find a trusted work friend and we have a vent/hug/scream/cry session. if it's just a general blah day, i'll do something random like take my daughter out for a special treat like hibachi dinner or waffle house or ice cream or a donut. or i put on a favorite CD and we sing along. or once my daughter’s in bed, i'll pick up a "blue day" book and read a page or two that i previously folded down. or buy a new book and read it while sitting by the woodstove with my dog. or email/text/call someone. but you have to pick the right someone for the situation -- certain folks are better with certain situations.

2. What have been the happiest experiences of your life so far?

there are so many that it's hard to pick THE HAPPIEST, but here are some that rank high up there:

*my daughter's adoption day
*my niece’s birth
*so many awesome Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays with family & friends & my favorite ever foster kids -- I LOVE the holidays!
*Disney and beach trips with my family & some awesome friends
*chaperoning the senior trip with amazing friends/coworkers
*Gatlinburg trips with friends/coworkers -- oh the memories!
*camping trips with friends & family
*hanging out with the whole family in WY or the other side of the family in GA
*summer as a counselor at Girl Scout Camp
*hanging out with wonderful church friends at Wednesday night suppers, retreats, doing service projects, etc.
*coffee hour with such amazing friends
*game nights
*girls' night out



3. What is something small that you do regularly that makes you happier?

I am a relationship person. At this point in my life I'm completely happy with myself and by myself, but I enjoy time with friends and family one-on-one or in small groups. It makes me happy to spend face-time (or at least facebook-time) with the people who mean the most to me. I completely LOVE Wednesday nights because I get to sit around with my favorite folks from church and share our life adventures with love and laughter. I used to be very anti-cell phone and anti-facebook. BUT... I now have texting and facebook addictions because I can use them to keep up with my friends and family near and far, thus maintaining our involvement in each other's daily lives in spite of the miles between us.


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Wisdom from my big sis. Who, by the way, is the fastest texter I've EVER met in my life. Seriously, in the time it just took me to write this sentence on my laptop, she probably just texted a whole paragraph to one of her friends. It's a gift. And, apparently, a gift that boosts her happiness! So more power to her!


I love how texting is such a non-instrusive way to stay connected to other people. I especially appreciated texting when my daughter was tiny and napped much of the day. My phone ringing seemed so intrusive and rude, but a text "ping" seemed so gentle and thoughtful. Do you text, and if not, why not?

Singing and the Shower

I am lucky enough to know quite a few people who have not just sat back and let life happen to them, but who have taken steps to make their lives what they want them to be. One of these people is Jessica, my sister’s best friend from college, who I have come to know and love, as well. Jessica is a chemist and a single mom by choice. She is a pretty amazing new mom who actually makes her own baby food AND works full time. (Did you know that’s actually possible?!?) Anyway, I think she’s pretty inspiring. Here are her answers to 3 of my happiness questions:

1. How do you cheer yourself up when you're feeling blue?

I do my best to remember that other people have “it” worse (whatever that may be). I had a group of friends that was VERY cynical and discovered that it really affected my day to day outlook and I stopped hanging around with them as much. Being positive and seeing the bright side is a conscious choice that keeps me from getting bogged down in self pity. Even music choices affect things. If I listen to hard tales about broken hearts, etc. it’s easy to start feeling like that’s my life. If I choose upbeat or fun or even well-done pensive songs, I feel better.

2. What have been the happiest experiences of your life so far?

I had a blast in grad school going out and partying with friends, but that wasn’t meant to carry over into “real” life. My son, for sure – dancing, playing on the floor, feeling him move while I was pregnant, you name it. Robby gave me a higher purpose in life. Reconnecting with distant friends and relatives through email/facebook/letters, whatever.

3. What is something small that you do regularly that makes you happier?

Take my time in the shower really letting the water run over my head (this is pretty therapeutic too – been known to sob in the shower when I needed to). Cook interesting, healthy meals for myself or others. Sing LOUDLY in the car. Focus on something I can control and try not to worry about the rest.

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See, I told you she's inspiring!

OK, I know there’s a ton of research out there documenting how marriage satisfaction and overall satisfaction in life drop when you have children, but, seriously, those studies must be flawed! I totally agree with Jessica that having a child gives me a sense of a higher purpose in life, which just MUST be related to happiness. Maybe “satisfaction” is different than happiness? Just an idea.

Also, after I interviewed Jessica, I really paid attention to the way music affected my happiness level for a few days. It really did make me happier to listen to upbeat artists! And it was nice to give myself an extra reason to listen to cheesy songs on my way in between clients’ houses. (I normally listen to Spanish learning CDs in the car, but I’m taking a little break over the holidays. Sometimes it makes me happy to take a break from things that make me happy, like learning another language!)

What songs or artists make you happiest?