Take Time Off for Field Trips

I missed a field trip this school year.

One field trip.  Out of the three field trips Flanna's class has been on so far.

So, those stats aren't bad, right?  For 66% of field trips, I was present and accounted for.

But then Flanna's teacher sent out photos from her field trip to the airport.  The field trip I just couldn't make.  And poor Flanna looked so distraught that I thought I might have to just quit my job right then and there and move in with my parents and become a homeschooling unschooling never missing anything in my child's life ever again type of mama.  (By the way, save the moving back in with family part, that's my ultimate secret dream, so please don't think I'm making fun of homeschooling unschooling mamas.)

Breaks my heart into a billion pieces.  

But then I took a deep breath.  And told myself the lessons I am teaching Flannery about how women can be super strong AND nurturing.  And remembered how much I love my job and am passionate about what I do, and how it brings me such joy to do what I get to do each day, plus getting paid for it!  And the crazy thoughts subsided.

And then I immediately requested off for the next 2 field trips of the school year.  Because I will never, ever, ever miss another field trip again, ever.

(By the way, here's a cute photo of Flanna on the next field trip--the one to the puppet theater, where I was happily in attendance.  And just look at that smile!  Thank goodness preschoolers don't  hold a grudge!)

What mommy guilt pulls at you the most?  

When guilt creeps in

It's not a pretty picture, when guilt creeps in.

As a mom who recently returned to full-time work after working part-time since my daughter was born, you can imagine that Mr. Guilt has pretty much taken up permanent residence in my psyche these days. He's unpacked his things, put them away in closets and drawers, and started leaving the cap off of my toothpaste.

And then my daughter came home today reporting that she'd been in time-out during nap time at school. For the gazillionth time this month. Given, she's 3, and could just be remembering a day last week when that happened. But Mr. Guilt points a finger at me, reminding me that if I weren't working my full-time job, the afternoons of difficult nap times and time outs would not be an issue. Instead, we would've been having perfect picnics at the park in the afternoons, celebrating the wonder that is my creative and energetic kiddo.

Sigh.

I think I take it too hard, the idea of my amazing daughter suffering the slightest bit. But on a day when I was at work from 7 a.m. to almost 5 p.m., when I left before my daughter woke up and came home when it was almost dark, to a daughter whose delicate self image was suffering... it was just too much. Guilt flung wide the door and stomped around with muddy boots.

I talked to my mom on the phone and actually cried. But she made me feel better, and then my hubby encouraged me to e-mail the school and try to figure things out. It's a wonderful school, with amazing and caring teachers who will completely work with me to make things right.

So I wrote an e-mail, a small positive action, which helped a bit.

Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure.




How do you deal with lousy days? How do you keep yourself from feeling guilty about the zillions of things that you can't make perfect in your life? Today I could use ideas.


By the way, Gretchen Rubin posted these ways for getting through a lousy day today. I thought it interesting that her post was so timely. Maybe it's universal to have rough days just before the time changes?

Even Good Changes can be Hard

Some of you have asked how my new full time job is going. I haven't really posted much about it because I've been so busy, and really, I've been kind of unsure as to how it relates to my happiness project. I mean, this new job definitely brings me a lot of happiness. I love my new colleagues and students, and just feeling like I have a team of folks to learn from and feel connected with each day has been a wonderful change for me. And here's the kicker...I don't have to bring work home every night! That has been a wonderful change, to have my evenings free to focus on my home and family.

But then there's also the change from part-time to full-time work that has brought a lot of guilt for me. I leave for work each day before Flannery wakes up, and get home around dinner time, when there are meals to be made and laundry to be washed and dogs to be fed and baths to be taken. I've been trying to squeeze in some special playtime for us each evening, but it's so different than our long afternoons of walks and crafts back when I worked part-time. Sometimes it feels really silly and even frustrating to be teaching other people's children all day while someone else teaches my child all day.

Sigh.

Anyway, I just keep trying to remember that this summer, we'll have months of leisurely days together, and that I'm a much better mom when we're financially stable than when we're stressed about money.

I read this post over at the Four Flights of Fancy blog yesterday, and it really resonated with me. The writer is another mama who has just started back to full time work. She speaks much more eloquently than I can about the ebb and flow of accepting this new lifestyle. It's hard sometimes.

Not to whine. I fully realize that I am insanely lucky to be able to find a new wonderful job in this ridiculous economy. I'm so thankful to be able to help support my family doing something I wholeheartedly enjoy. But I try to be honest on this blog, so that's where I am right now.



How does your job relate to your own happiness and fulfillment? Do you think if you didn't work, you'd miss it?


(By the way, that cute SLP voice magnet is from CafePress. Neat, huh?)