What the Speechie Wore Wednesday

I'm trying to hold myself accountable for wearing more than just my basic black pants to work every day, and each Wednesday, I'm posting photos of my outfits from the week.  This week, I kept forgetting to photograph my outfits (things were crazy with the new dog!), but I captured a few! 

I forgot to get a photo on Wednesday, but here's a group shot from a coworker's baby shower that evening.  Fun!

me doing speech therapy--jean jacket over my dress for day time :)

Thursday - speech therapy and meetings;  purple dress, gray leggings, and gray ballet flats

scarf from Ann Taylor loft (a gift from my E.Coast BFF!)

Saturday - errands and cleaning; cotton pin-striped tunic and jeggings with my fave red shoes

my favorite red shoes

Tuesday- Speech therapy and meetings; tweed black/gray pants, a black shirt, and my favorite red shoes

 I think I could wear those red shoes every single day.  Especially since I'm at a different school each day of the week.  No one would know, right?  :)  They're super comfy.  I'm thinking about buying them in blue, too. 



What's your favorite pair of shoes?

We've Been a Little Busy!

Because...I found a stray dog on Friday (Valentine's day) and brought it home. 

Watching "Lab Rats" :)

I know, I am crazy.  But the poor thing was in the street when I went to lunch, and was still there at the end of my work day, and so I just had to stop and get him out of the street.  The funny thing was, all I had with me to coax him closer was a bag of cashews and a blue sour straw candy from a baby shower I had been to a few days before.  But the candy worked, thank goodness.  :)

And the little guy was really sweet and gentle. Covered in motor oil and a thick layer of dirt, but still sweet.  When I got home and gave him a bath, our tub literally had a ring of black grime in it afterward.  Poor baby. 

coming home from the vet

I took him to the vet to see if he was microchipped (he wasn't) and posted a "found dog" ad on Craigslist just in case he has a loving family out there.   We're trying not to get too attached in case someone is searching for him, in which case we would of course return him to his home. 

But if no one claims him, we are thinking we will adopt him ourselves.  He is already fitting in pretty well.  The vet thinks he is 1 1/2 years old.  He's almost 12 pounds and is probably a rat terrier and cattle dog mix.  Flannery is in love and keeps saying he is the "sweetest dog she's ever met." 

The vet says after 2 weeks, if no one has claimed him, we can go ahead and declare him as ours.  So, we'll see!  Today is our first day back to work and real life since he has come to our home, so wish us good luck!  I am praying he is as calm when we are not home as he is when we are home. 



Have you ever rescued a pet?

Why I Feel I Can do Anything

my dad, mom, me, my hubby, and my sis

I think I am a little ambitious.  I like to finish projects.  I like to create new things that are important and meaningful.  I like to take the lead at work.  I like to work toward goals and accomplish them.  I like to take on the challenge that's making everyone else throw up their hands and want to throw in the towel.  I like to solve puzzles and to figure out tough situations.

I think I'm pretty productive.  I can research, write, create, edit, and finish a project in a whirlwind of speed.  And I think the quality is pretty darn good.  

I don't know for sure what made me this way, up for tackling challenges, up for taking on more projects than I probably sometimes should.  

But I think it might be related to these facts:

• I watched my dad design and build a house on his own (with a little help from his friends!) when I was growing up.  He did this on weekends and after work, while working full time hanging sheetrock-- a very physical and demanding job--and often working side-jobs, as well.  
• I watched my mom work full time, long hours loading UPS trucks and delivering next day air packages, and then come home and care for us every day, and also care for her aging parents in their own home, and also cook spectacular meals and keep our house lovely and humming, and also have deep conversations with us regularly, and know our friends, and attend our endless plays and dance recitals and awards banquets.  
• I watched my sister win "Student of the Year" for her whole entire school when she was a senior.  As in, she was the best student in the whole entire school from 9th through 12th grade.  She studied all the time and was in every extracurricular activity there was and worked part time and sang in the church choir and did community theater and taught dance to little kiddos and babysat, and still made time to let me play with her hair.  
•  I watched my husband work FULL time through college.  He paid for his own undergraduate degree completely on his own.  And during that tim, he also played in a band, and went to church, and made time for me and his friends, and fixed every family member's computer in the tri-state area when they needed it, and went on to get a freakin' Ph.D., y'all.    

I remember one time when I was in grad school, my clinic supervisor pulled me aside and told me that she thought I might be working too much and that maybe it was taking me away from my studies too much.  At the time, I was a research assistant part-time, and I babysat some children after school several days each week, and I worked weekends as a receptionist in the Xray department at the local hospital.  I asked the clinic supervisor if she knew that I had a 4.0 GPA?  What more did she want?  She laughed and said, no, she didn't know that, and she guessed I should probably just keep on doing what I was doing.  (And also, I wanted to ask her if she wanted to pay my bills so I could spend more time on my studies, hah!) 

The thing is, that making my own way, even if it took working 3 jobs while going to grad school full time, was just what I had to do to get to my dream of being a speech therapist.  And so, like my mom and my dad and my sister and my husband before me, I did just that.  If I hadn't had good strong models of how to work hard for what you want and actually achieve it, I might have given up when that clinic director pointed out my frenzied pace.  I might have felt defeated or even embarrassed because no one else in my program seemed to have to work so much all the time.  But, heck, I knew I could do it.  I mean, no one I ever knew had failed.  I had good early models of persistence paying off.  

So, to all of you hard-working parents who might feel guilty that you're not home full time or volunteering every week at your child's school or baking cookies from scratch to serve to the neighborhood kids when they come over, I say:  

Work late now and then.  Bring work home.  Talk about neat projects you're working on.  Show your kids that you contribute to the world and that you're actually kind of amazing at what you do.  Let them see you stay up late to meet a deadline.  Let them see you get up early to squeeze in the cooking of pink pancakes for Valentine's day, and then rush off to a meeting looking professional and powerful.   Let them see you groan at the alarm clock but get up anyway and head off to meet the demands of the day.  The more we model for children what it looks like to set and meet goals in all areas of our lives, the more they believe that they can do the same.  

I know this firsthand.  Because my dad, and mom, and sister, and husband, modeled this for me.  

And that is why I feel I can do anything.  

Who in your life has modeled working hard toward success? 

What's more Beautiful than "I love you"?

I think one of the best things about loving someone is that we can be a comfort to one another.  It might sound trite, but when I'm having a bad day, it helps to remember that I'm going home to my husband at the end of it all.  My smiling, calm, funny, reassuring husband.  I hope that I'm as much of a comfort to him on his bad days.  

Sometimes, even more beautiful than "I love you," is:  "No matter what, don't be discouraged; I'm here for you."  

Here's a song by Patty Griffin, one of my favorite artists ever, that captures that sentiment eloquently.  I picture my husband saying it to me.  Sing it to your Valentine tonight!  :)  


                "Coming Home to Me:  by Patty Griffin, with Julie Miller                                                      

Anytime you say it with heart,
Anytime you're falling apart.
When you're washing the sheets,
Any stranger you meet.
When there's somebody waving goodbye,

You're coming home to me, just remember,
You're coming home to me.

It's a world full of bar rooms and alleys,
Of blue nights and red river valleys,
When you feel like a shirt and a tie,
Or like dirt,
Or a lion, and no one can see,

You're coming home to me, just remember,
You're coming home to me.

When you get to that place
That's just under the stars,
Hanging over the tree
At a quarter to three
When you get there you'll know
That's as far as you go
When you get there you'll see
You were already free
When you get there you'll la la la la la la

When you're lost and you're found,
And you're found and you're lost,
When you're dancing with no one around,

You're coming home to me, just remember,
You're coming home to me.

What's your favorite love song?  

Look for Beauty

a tree in my coworker's neighborhood, so bright!

This past week, it has begun to feel like spring here in San Jose.  There are trees and flowers blooming everywhere, and surprises of color around every corner.   I find that taking photos of beautiful things when I notice them really helps me pay better attention to the world and notice beauty around me.

What I look for, I find.

When I look for beautiful things as I go throughout my day, I find them.  

I think this applies to many other areas of life, too.  When I look for funny things my clients say, I find them.  When I look for kind things my coworkers do, I find them.  When I look for ways my daughter is helpful, I find them.  

So, go out and look for beauty this week.  I bet you will find it.

on our walking trail

blooms in our neighborhood

our neighbors' orange trees

beauty on a gray day -  a Sweet Gum tree down the street

beautiful bark on a tree trunk

What do you look for and try to notice as you go throughout your day?  My mom and sister often send me photos of sunsets and sunrises, and I love how they take the time to notice the sky.  

What the Speechie Wore Wednesday

Wednesday:  speech therapy & meetings (this was taken at
the end of the day, so my hair is in a ponytail.  :)

Well, I'm still trying to add variety to my wardrobe, and taking photos of myself when I can remember, to help hold myself accountable for getting out of my "black pants rut."

What I realized this week, is that black/brown pants seem so easy to put on and to pair with a top when I'm hurried in the morning, and so mornings I had early meetings, it was almost always my go-to thought.  So maybe I need to start thinking the night before about what I will wear.  I haven't actually done that yet, but maybe next week.  :)

I do feel more confident (and even powerful!) when my outfit is a bit more "put together" than normal. Seems silly that something as superficial as an outfit can affect my mood like that, but it does.

Thursday:  Paperwork and testing (in the rain!)

Friday:  Speech therapy, testing, and meetings

I added brown/gold earrings from Anne Taylor Loft, a gift from my East coast BFF.  Fun!

Sunday:  Church day & cleaning

Monday:  meetings and report writing

Tuesday:  speech therapy, testing, and meetings 

What outfit do you love to wear that makes you feel confident and maybe even powerful? 

Plan Ahead for Your Weakest State

When I get home from work at the end of a long day, with my daughter in tow and laundry to be done and homework to help with and speech reports still to be written for the next day, the last thing I want to do is try to decide what to cook for dinner. 

And so, I've decided to plan ahead for when I'm in that weak, tired, stressed out state--to try to remove the added stress of making a decision when I'm tired at the end of the day.  So, instead of trying to plan a delicious and healthy meal at the end of the day when I'm exhausted and my mind has turned to jell-o, I try to plan my meals for a whole week sometime during the weekend, when I'm fresh and hopeful and not exhausted. 

I take a look in my pantry and fridge to see what ingredients we have to work with, and what we'll need to buy from the grocery store, and make my meal plan and my grocery list at the same time.   Then, I actually write out my meal plan and post it in the kitchen (very officially, on a post-it note) so that I don't have to think about what to make for dinner every night during the work week--I just follow my own instructions. 

Then, too, if I'm running late and my uber-helpful husband wants to get dinner started for us before I get home, he can just look at the note and know what the plan is.

And that, folks, is how I plan ahead for my weakest state.  Because if I didn't, then I know myself, and I would just drop by a fast food place on the way home and feed my family fake food in the name of getting "dinner on the table."  Which would not boost my happiness.  Because I want to be a mom who makes real meals at least most of the time and who is at least semi-organized.  And when I stick to my plan, it definitely boosts my happiness. 


How can you plan ahead for when you're in your "weakest state," to help yourself make better decisions or follow through on things you want to do? 

Marriage Monday: Create Your Own Blessing

My sweet parents 

Thank you, thank you, to all you dear friends and readers who have offered up relationship tips and advice in the past week for me to ponder!  Each Monday, I am going to highlight tips and/or research on marriage, and I hope that these discussions will be as interesting and meaningful to you all as they are to me.  (I find relationships so fascinating!) 

Many of you have offered such beautiful words of wisdom about marriage relationships.  One thing that I found to be a common thread in wisdom from friends who have been married a long time (over 20 years) was the idea that long-term relationships create a shared history that, in and of itself, is gratifying.   

Robi and I have been lucky to have wonderful models of lasting relationships in our parents.  Both of our sets of parents have persevered through the ups and downs of life and love and kids and work and good and bad economies, and have maintained love stories that continue to be written.   I know that it's a blessing to them to look back on the lives they have lived together and all the shared memories they have--places they have lived, children they have raised, people they have loved, lost, mourned--together.   Lasting relationships give us someone with whom to anchor ourselves in time, allow us to feel completely known and understood, and keep alive those we have both lost. 

My friend and mentor, Anne, said it this way:

My wonderful in-laws

"Having a long history with someone becomes its own separate, and very, very deep, blessing. When my brother died last spring, the fact that [my husband] Jim had known him for 40 of his 54 years was such an incredible comfort to me. The same was true when my Mom and Dad died over the past couple of years." 

I love what she said.  A long shared history itself becomes a deep blessing.  A comfort.  

I find this to be true in my marriage relationship.  I also find it to be true in my long-time friendships.  In fact, I sometimes think it is downright luxurious to be with people I have known over 10 years.   

So, to those of you who are just beginning your relationship, and to those of you with decades of a shared history, revel in the intertwined story you are weaving.  Allow yourselves to look back often and bask in your shared memories.  And realize that, right now, with each day you spend together, you are creating your very own blessing.  

What lasting relationships bring you the most comfort?  Do you and your partner look back on your life together very often?  If not, how could you create an opportunity to do just that? 

Speechy Sunday: Complex Sentences and Candyland!

A few weeks ago, I used a neat version of "Candyland" in my speech sessions, and it worked so well that I wanted to share it. 

Many of my students are working on learning to use complex sentences.  (Grammar review:  Complex sentences have a subordinate clause that can't stand alone.  For example, in "Because I was hungry, I ate lunch,"  the "Because I was hungry" part is the subordinate clause--it can't stand alone.  So, that sentence is complex.)  Many kiddos with speech/language disorders tend to stick with simple sentences to communicate, but it's hard to express complicated ideas using just simple sentences, so it's important to help them learn to use complex sentences. 

But back to the fun part. 

I love to play Candyland with my students, but I use the "fast version" of the game.  Did you know there's a fast version?  In the fast version, each player picks two cards on their turn, and then chooses which card to use to move forward on the board.  Also, there are NO "backsies," so if you choose a card that would send you backwards, you just choose again.  I like this version of the game because if you ask the children to tell you why they chose the higher card, they have to use a complex sentence.  (ex:  "I chose this card, because it will move me further.").  It also makes the game go more quickly so we can finish it in one 30 minute speech session.  Also, to give my students even more practice with complex sentences, I instituted a "Since" rule.  Before a student can move their game-piece, they have to say this sentence: 

"Since I got (two blues), I will move (two blues)." 

Most of my students are English Language Learners, and this long complex sentence can be a challenge, so I use a sentence frame visual aid for them.  You can see it in the photo above.  In just one 30-minute game, my students get to repeatedly practice two types of complex sentences in a real-life context--first when they choose which card to use (ex: "I choose the double green card, because it will move me farthest."), and then when they follow my "since" rule (ex:  "Since I got double green, I will move two greens."). 

If you play Candyland now and then with your students or children (or nieces, nephews, grandkids, neighbors, etc.), try the "fast version," and see if they know how to make the decision about which card is the better choice, and if they can tell you why.  It's great to teach decision-making and the concepts of less/more and distance.  Also, see if they can use these great complex sentences on their own, or if they need a model to use them.  And if they can't yet, don't worry--the more they imitate your well-formed sentences, the more they will learn to use them on their own. 


What's your favorite board game?

Anticipate the Good Stuff

Some sketches I did to inspire our illustrator.  I was obviously not an art major.

Sometimes anticipating something good brings me more happiness than the actual good thing itself.  Right now, I'm anticipating the coming together of a new book I'm working on with some folks on the East coast.  Inspired by my own childhood!  Should be fun!

Here's a sneak peek at some scenes we may use.  I'll keep you posted as it nears completion!

Good thing I'm not going to be the real illustrator!

 What good thing are you anticipating?

What the Speechie Wore Wednesday

Thursday:  Paperwork & Meetings Day

I have gotten into a fashion rut.  I seem to wear the same outfit--usually black or brown pants and a nice shirt-- to work every single day.  And because I'm only at each school I serve one day each week, sometimes I think I wear the same outfit every other Tuesday, and so my Tuesday school probably thinks I only own two outfits.  Umm, not good.

So, to hold myself accountable for getting out of my "black pants rut," I decided to do a "What I Wore Wednesday" post.  Here are some of my outfits from a week when I was trying to do better.  I only wore black pants once, yay!  I do notice that I feel better and more confident when I dress myself with a bit more thought. 

Friday:  Speech Therapy & Meetings Day (These don't count as black pants.  They're gray.  Very different.)

Saturday:  out for a walk

Sunday:  Church and cleaning day.  Excuse the blurry pics -- Flanna took several of them. :)

Monday:  Testing, Report Writing, and Meetings Day

Tuesday:  Speech Therapy and Testing Day

What about you?  Do you feel better when you "look better"?

Appreciate an Accomplishment

Yesterday when I walked Flanna to school in the morning, I noticed that our tiles we painted are up on the side of the school now!  The school made a tile wall in honor of its 150th anniversary, and it looks great!

Here's Flanna beside the 4 tiles we painted.  They turned out pretty cute.  It's a tiger family representing our little family (her school mascot is a tiger). Flannery made the cats, and I made the tree and did some detail work on the tiles. 

It was nice to see something we had created displayed so nicely, and it's also neat to think that this tile wall will be there for generations to come.  Very cool.

It says, "Go Tigers!" in the banner on the tree.  It's also a willow tree in honor of her school name, Willow Glen.

What have you accomplished or done that you need to step back and appreciate? 

Marriage Monday: Share your Favorite Secrets to a Happy Marriage

At our wedding shower almost 15 years ago--hopefully
I've never been a "ball-and-chain!"

My west coast BFF is getting married soon!  Which makes me so happy and excited!  I can't wait to celebrate her wedding and see her start her "married life!"   (She's going to be a great wife, BTW!)

As I look forward to her wedding, I find myself thinking back to my own wedding.  And one thing I remember about that time is all of the encouragement and advice we got from so many different people.  It seems that everyone has their own little "secret" to a happy marriage relationship (and can't wait to share it with those about to say their vows!).  Some people told us to, "Say thank you every day for the little things."  Great advice!  Some people told us to, "Come together and say I love you every night before bed."  Also great advice!  Others said, "Talk to your partner if you have a problem with them, and don't speak ill of your partner to anyone else."  Yes!   Some people told us to, "Make time to have fun together and stay friends."  Truly important, right?  We've gotten so much good advice, and I think that as I mature in my marriage, different bits of advice resonate with me more at different times.

But enough about me!  I'd like to hear what relationship advice has been most helpful to you in your life. What tip or recommendation has helped you most as you have navigated a happy relationship with your partner?  Please leave a comment with your best "Secret to a Happy Marriage", and I will feature one lucky reader's advice in a post next week. By the way, you don't have to be married to leave advice here!  Everyone has wisdom to share!

Come on, you competitive spirits, if you're reading this, I mean you!  Share your wealth of knowledge! Even if you don't feel like an expert, what words of wisdom do you try to follow?

Speechy Sunday: Valentine's Day Language and Literacy Activity

If you know me, you know that I'm a speech therapist, and that I really love working with kids.  On Sundays, I'm going to share some of my speech therapy tips and ideas.  Hope they're helpful!  

It's February!  Last month, in my speech sessions, I focused on a winter theme, and now I'm so excited that it's February, so I can start a Valentine's Day theme.  I usually anchor everything in my speech sessions for a month around one main book that we read over and over until my students know it inside and out.  It might seem like that would bore kids, but on the contrary--they love being able to tell me the story by the end of the month.  

This week, for Speechy Sunday, I want to share a Valentine's Day activity that will help you foster language and literacy with children.  You could use it with your students, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc.  I think it's great fun!  Here's how it works.  

First, I find a story book about Valentine's Day that I enjoy (one that tells a story and isn't just a picture or rhyming book).  I chose "The Biggest Valentine Ever" by Steven Kroll, because I think it works for a large age range (and I work with kids ages 4 to 11 right now).  Other good options are "Mouse's First Valentine" by Lauren Thompson (for younger kids - ages 1 to 4, or kiddos with special needs) or "The Day it Rained Hearts" by Felicia Bond for preschool age up.  

Then, I read the book by myself first and try to find words in the book that I think my kiddos won't know.  I look for words in the text, or even add in some of my own if I don't see any good ones.  Next, I underline words I want to teach (yes, I actually write in my book so I won't forget!) and think about how I will quickly teach them as we read.  For "The Biggest Valentine Ever" book, I picked these vocabulary words:  

surprise, together, decorate, glare, create, satisfied, plan, cooperate, 

delighted, different, same, edge

After that, I think about questions I can embed into the story as I read.  Usually, I include easy questions like, "What's that?, Where's the mouse?, What are they doing?  How do they feel?" as well as harder questions like, "How is that different than before?, What just happened?  What do you think will happen next? and Why did he do that?"  If I write out my questions ahead of time and use post-its to put them on the exact pages I choose, I do a much better job of matching the right level of question to the right kiddo during my speech sessions (a.k.a. differentiating) than if I am trying to come up with questions on the fly.  

Next, I come up with 2-step directions to throw in for kids working on listening skills, and make a list of words that might be difficult to pronounce (often /r/ and /s/ words, depending on the students) for my articulation students so that I can embed articulation practice (working on certain speech sounds) into my session for them, as well.  (This is optional if your kiddo doesn't need help with following directions or articulation).

Finally, I find an engaging activity that goes with the story (a craft or game related to the story), and voila! I am ready for a month of speech language sessions anchored by a story.  

For this book, I chose to cut out hearts of all different sizes so that my students could glue them together to create a mouse-shaped valentine just like the boys in the story did.  (The first session, we'll create the Valentine by gluing the hearts together, and the next session, we'll decorate it with glitter and glue.) I tried this with my daughter first to see if we could fit the story and craft in one 30 minute session, and, hooray, we could.  Fun!  

If you try this activity, let me know how it goes!  I'd love to hear what words your kiddos learned from you and what questions they were able to answer with your help!

What great Valentine's Day activity do you like to do with the children in your life?  Link to it or tell me about it below!  (Also, if you'd like the list of questions and directions I used with this book, leave me a comment and I'll send it to you.)

Flanna's mouse Valentine.  Cute!

Experience Nature

Peaceful walking trail by our house.  Nice!

It's a lazy morning here at the Ragan house.  Flannery and I are still in our pajamas, and we don't have any plans until our 2:00 movie this afternoon.  And even though I love love love relaxing mornings, I am feeling blah.  There is something about being inside too much that makes me crazy.  So I'm about to get us bundled up and head outside for a bit.  We're so lucky to live in an area with great weather and a great park system, so we can easily find fun, safe places to explore.

For a while, I would drive us to good parks, but now we're learning about more and more places right here in our own neighborhood that are walkable and great.  Last week, we found a fabulous park that has a neat playground, tennis courts, basketball courts, a walking track, and a little exercise area, just a few blocks from our house (just a 4 minute walk!).  I can't believe we hadn't seen it sooner!  It was so nice to be able to walk the track and still have Flannery in my sights while she played on the playground.

And two days ago, I got brave enough to try out a walking/biking/running trail a block away from my house.  I was nervous that it would be too full of bikes and runners to be comfortable for my slow pace, but it was absolutely beautiful and peaceful.  A few bikers and a few mommies walking with strollers, but much quieter (and softer ground!) than walking on the sidewalks in our neighborhood.  So that was a wonderful find for me.  Not only because I'm meeting neighbors and running into colleagues that I didn't know lived so close by on my walks, but also because the more I get myself out in nature, the better my mood is.  And that makes for better interactions with my family, and a happier me because I'm treating people the way I want to instead of being stressed or distracted.

I'm off to enjoy the day.  Hope you enjoy yours, too!


What about you, where in your neighborhood do you love to go to experience nature? 

Systems Matter, and Also, Cut Yourself Some Slack

I used to think that I was horrible at keeping up with laundry.  I could just never ever stay ahead of the laundry, for like the past 10 years.  I am serious.  I thought I must just be the most disorganized person ever in the home organization department.

luxuriously gigantic washing machines matter

And then we moved here.  And I can get all of my laundry done in two days.  Even when I get behind, it doesn't take much work at all to catch up.  Because we have a fancy expensive washer and dryer set that allows for full sized loads, rather than the stackable or old small washer/dryer sets I had been working with for the past 10 years.  Suddenly, I can keep up!  

Turns out, it wasn't me.   It was the system I was working with. 

And I think a lot of things in life are like that.  We go around believing that we're not good at math because of bad grades in one math course.  Or that we're not musical because we couldn't learn to play the piano.  Or that we're bad at cooking because all those recipes turned out funny.   

But what if we just never had the right math teacher?  What if our fingers were meant to play violin rather than piano?  What if our oven always cooks hotter, or our pans don't heat evenly, and that's really what's getting in our way?  Too often, we immediately blame problems on ourselves, when really there might be a gazillion reasons for them.  We cut our friends slack immediately when something doesn't work out for them, but it doesn't occur to us to cut ourselves some slack.  

When I was in college, I drove a big 4 door sedan, and the driver's seat was really low, and I always felt like I wasn't the best driver because I couldn't really tell where my car was exactly in space.  Even years later, driving a Saturn that was less gigantic, I still felt that I had to really be careful and pay attention to parallel park or even just regular park.  But then, after a few years of being in the working world, we bought our Scion XB, a boxy little car in which the driver's seat sits up high, and I could see very clearly where my car started and stopped.  Suddenly, I became a much more confident driver.   I am a pro at parallel parking!  All those years of feeling like not the best driver, it wasn't me.  It was the layout of my cars.  Systems matter.  

So when you're feeling down on yourself for something, try to examine what systems might be playing a role in the issue.  Look for all the invisible external forces that might be interacting to make things difficult.  Because sometimes it's not you.  And something as minor as a well-functioning washer and dryer can help you see yourself in a better light.  

What problems do you blame on yourself that really might be caused by a "system" problem?   

 (By the way, I have to give props to my husband for coming up with the phrase, "Systems matter."  Because he says that all the time for his work, and I stole it because it's so true.) 

Phase Your Dreams

Bathroom Inspiration Wall!

One of the schools where I work has an inspiration wall in the staff bathroom.  I love reading the quotes teachers choose to post there.  And one of my favorites says, "Phase Your Dreams."

Do you see it?

Okay, I admit it.  I know it really says, "Chase your dreams."  But the font is crazy, and the first time I saw it, I thought it said, "Phase your dreams."  Which is actually a much better quote, I think.   Because who has time to chase anything these days?  With reports to write and presentations to give and meetings to prep and children to help with homework and laundry to be done--there is pretty much no way possible that I'm going to be able to carve out space to "chase" a dream.

But "phase" a dream?  I can do that.

I can choose small actions that will eventually, in sum, lead me to a dream.  Step by step, phase by phase.

I have a dream to be strong and muscular and healthy.  I think maybe what has kept me from getting there is that I keep thinking I need to go "work out" for at least an hour every day.  Which at this point in my life is just not going to happen.  (Kudos to you if you can do that, though!)  So, I can't dive right in full-force to this dream.  But I can find 10 minutes to strength train today, 15 minutes to do Pilates tomorrow, and 30 minutes to walk the next day and get some cardio in.  Seriously, I tried doing some push ups yesterday, and that is definitely going to have to be a dream I phase in, very slowly.  (Starting with like .5 of a push up and working my way up to 5 in a row maybe by... next year.)  But really, when I allow myself to dream big but start small, I actually make more progress than when I keep telling myself I have that "big project" to tackle.

So, friends, "Phase your dreams!"  And in that same vein, "Do small things!"  And "Reach for the doorframe!" And "Climb every molehill!"  I'm pretty sure next school year, these new quotes will all have caught on, and we'll see them posted in funky fonts in every. single. bathroom.


What amazing thing have you accomplished that you "phased" into existence?

Just Add Music

Flanna's favorite artist right now--Lorde from New Zealand

Last Friday, I walked into a fourth grade classroom to pick up a student for speech therapy, and guess what?  The student did not want to come to speech.  Not even with temptations of all the fun we would have.  Not even with the mention of all the games we might play.  Not even with the possibility of earning iPad time.  Not even with his teacher threatening him with losing recess if he wouldn't go.  (I promise I wouldn't have let that happen!) He did not want to come to speech.  He did not want to, Sam I am. 

Somehow, magically, I coerced him into just walking with me for a few minutes in the hallway.  I used my handy dandy emotions thermometer (see below) and had him tell me how he was feeling.  Turns out he was "tired", he grumbled.  His morning had been rough.  He just wanted to go to sleep.

Well, I have a soft place in my heart for kids who like to sleep.  I myself wish sleep was a recognized hobby or competitive sport, because I would get the gold medal.

But back to my story.

TJ's Emotions & Energy Thermometer:
Print it, laminate it, and let kids use a dry erase
board to "check in" about their emotions/energy level.
If too high, help them use a self-calming strategy.
If too low, help them use an energizing strategy.
(Calm/relaxed is ideal.) 

On the back of my handy dandy emotions thermometer, I showed this fourth grader some ideas for how to "energize" himself a bit so that he could move his thermometer from "tired" up to "calm," so that he could get in gear for learning.  There are all kinds of energizing options like, "jump up and down, listen to music, go get some water, stretch," etc.  This kiddo picked "listen to music."  Luckily, I have iTunes radio on my cell phone.  My client requested his favorite song, which miraculously I found within a few seconds.  

The transformation was instant.  His face brightened.  He smiled and danced a little in his seat.  He sat up straight.  He completed his speech work without needing a single redirection.  What had been an exhausted, defiant, upset fourth grade boy, became Mr. Cooperative Student of the Year, just like that.

So, you've got a cranky kiddo?  Just add music.  You've got a grumbly 4th grader?  Just add music.  And hey, if you yourself are feeling overwhelmed and tired and heading home from work to pick up your child from childcare and trying to remember if you defrosted the chicken last night and feeling guilty that there is no way you're going to the PTA meeting tonight…well, maybe, just maybe, you can Just Add Music.   And let the moment be transformed.



What about you?  Do you find that adding music to your day makes it better?  And what's your favorite music right now?  

How to Slow Down Time

In other news, I got a haircut in November.  :)

Oh, my.  It has been forever since I have made time to blog!  And I miss it so immensely!  There is something about blogging that calms my tense nerves and helps me look for the lesson, the beauty, the fun, in these bustling days. 

I feel as if I should catch you all up.

In the months since I last blogged.... We went to LA for Thanksgiving!  My daughter turned 7!  And grew about 5 inches taller! My hubby and I carved out time for ourselves and had some date nights here and there!  Flannery was an angel in our church Christmas play!  We all got sick and then got well again.  We flew across the country and spent two and a half glorious weeks with our family and friends for winter break!  My BFF got engaged!  We got stuck on layovers due to crazy weather and once we finally made it back to Cali, I was way behind at work and have been juggling to catch up ever since!  Also, I somehow coerced myself into regular exercise and am feeling pretty good!

And now we are almost done with the first month of this new year!  How did that happen?  I don't know if it's due to figuring out a new place after moving, or working in an intense start-up environment, or just the fast-paced life here in Silicon Valley, but I have to say that these past 6 months have been the quickest in my life.  I sometimes wish I could slow down time. 

There are moments, though, that have lasted longer.  Good deep conversations with my hubby.  Playing hide and seek with Flanna, waiting silent and still for her to find me in the laundry room.  Standing in church listening to the choir sing with all of their swirling harmonies. 

Those are the moments I think I let slip by too quickly when I don't blog.  

And it's interesting, because I kept thinking that I wasn't blogging because my life had been spinning so quickly.  But maybe my life has been spinning so quickly because I haven't taken the time to reflect on it through this blog?

Maybe that's the secret--we slow down time by preserving the good parts and reliving them when we need a pick me up.  This might explain the proliferation of sites like Snapfish and Shutterfly, and why I own literally a gazillion photo albums.  :)


How do you slow down time and try to create a good pace for your life?