The Gladdest Thing Under the Sun

Enter into One Another's Interests

2012-02-13T11:07:00.000-05:00

Our hotel room artwork just happened to be
a flyer for one of the bands we saw. Very neat.

When I'm coaching teachers about how best to build the language skills of children, I usually always start by discussing ways to "enter into the child's interests" or to "follow the child's lead" and "engage the child by focusing on their interests." When building a relationship with a child (which is crucial before you can start trying to teach them anything!), creating experiences of shared enjoyment is really important. And even more important is the idea of "entering into the child's interest" (not forcing our ideas of fun on the child). Entering into a child's interest really builds connection.

The same is true of building or strengthening relationships with adults. When we enter into our spouse's interests, for example, it builds connection.

It's funny, though, how often in my marriage relationship, I forget that I need to try to create experiences of shared enjoyment with my husband by entering into his interests. We're lucky enough to have frequent date nights, since we have family close by, but too often, I think I plan date nights around what I find fun--dinner out, a nice long talk, a funny movie. But really, he loves unusual music, and novel/interesting experiences, and learning new things.

So, I've been trying to enter into his interests more. This weekend, we took a cooking class together. We learned something new (how to make rack of lamb!), and it was sooo yummy. Then, we went to Athens and saw one of his favorite artists, Jeff Mangum (from Neutral Milk Hotel) play. It was gorgeous and thought-provoking music, and we had a great time. A connection-building time.

The cool thing about entering into someone else's interest, is that usually the experience actually makes us happy, too. Not because we change ourselves or our own interests, but because the experience usually builds connection, and social connection is key to happiness.

Feeling disconnected from someone you care about? How can you try to enter into their interests this week?

Experience Nature

2012-02-10T17:37:00.000-05:00

a Camelia tree by our driveway

One of the things that has made me happiest this week has been to see the insanely early blooms on our trees. I think getting to see some rejuvenation in nature has really helped me feel like I'm healing and making a fresh start. It's been energizing, even, I think.

our neighbor's tulip tree (Japanese magnolia) - my favorite!

Hopefully the cold weekend ahead won't ruin the beauty all around! Although, if we were to perhaps get snow, I guess I'd be okay with the trade.

What brought you a bit of happiness this week?

Time Heals all Wounds

2012-02-04T01:47:00.000-05:00

First, I want to apologize for not updating this blog at all since my resolutions post. Crazy, crazy craziness ensued shortly after I wrote that.

Craziness to the tune of a stomach bug that just wouldn't go away. Craziness to the tune of me going to my general practitioner and asking him to figure out how to help me get past said stomach bug. Craziness to the tune of my brilliant doctor immediately recognizing the need for specialists.

Craziness to the tune of my doctor sending me straight to the hospital. To meet with a surgeon. A wonderful, grandfatherly and kind surgeon, but a surgeon nonetheless.

Craziness to the tune of having a CT scan that revealed an intestinal obstruction. The same type of difficulty I'd had 5 years ago, when I was pregnant, which had landed me in the hospital for 4 weeks being totally IV fed until Flannery was born. Luckily back then, the obstruction cleared with time and GI rest. I wasn't so lucky this time.

This time around, I needed surgery. There was a strap of scar tissue from a surgery I had had as a baby, that had wrapped around part of my intestine, pulling it and twisting it so that nothing could get through. The surgeon--that kind, grandfatherly surgeon--he snipped the scar tissue, took a few photos of the before and after, and stitched me back up.

And then more craziness ensued. Recovery.

Pain. Nausea. Morphine. Itchy side effects. A crazy haze of pain and darkness and fear. With waves of relief interspersed here and there. A desperate alone feeling. Fuzzy vision. Prodding nurses trying to collect blood from unwilling veins. Kind nurses telling me about their three children. Manipulative nurses trading meds for walks in the halls. My calm husband always there beside me, sleeping on the strange chair-bed each night. Harsh fluorescent lights. IV poles beeping. Care that seemed so violent sometimes. But always with waves of relief interspersed here and there.

And then, somehow, the fog cleared. And I was myself again. I got to come home. I ate warm broth my mom made from scratch. I stopped the pain meds. I started understanding conversations again. My vision cleared. I was able to read again. My brain could follow along when I read paragraphs. My husband's nervous forehead stopped looking so pinched. My daughter started forgetting to be careful when she hugged me. My mom sat down and watched a show with me and laughed a bit again. We all finally exhaled.

And then, today, I drove again. Not too far. Just to renew the car tag with my hubby. And then, we picked up Flanna from school, and my husband took us all out to dinner. It was breezy and cool and crisp out. I wore jeans for the first time in almost a month. I had pasta and shrimp. My daughter drew pictures and played on her iPod during dinner. We were just your average family. I was just your average mom in baggy jeans.

And that, my friend? Is how time heals all wounds.

What wound are you healing from? What has helped you through the healing process and back into life again? For me, it was going outside, seeing the japanese magnolias blooming, watching my husband have endearing conversations with our kiddo, and thinking about work projects again. Those little things pulled me up out of lethargy and toward recovery. And time. I know that time played a big part, as well.

New Year's Resolutions: Taking Stock and Making Plans

2012-01-16T21:00:00.000-05:00

Taking Stock:

This is what I'd like my life to be like every day of 2012.
Or at least 3 days of 2012.

Boy, so far 2012 has been a whirlwind! We've been busy with work and travel and birthdays and (unfortunately!) being sick, and I have to admit that I've just finally taken down all my Christmas decorations during this long weekend! Life has been hectic!

And as such, I haven't had much time to reflect on 2011, which I always love to do at the start of a new year. So, I'm just going to do it now. Better late than never, right?

So, here were my resolutions for last year:
My 2011 Happiness Resolutions:
1. Exercise.
2. Teach my daughter about God.
3. Be a better wife to my husband.

I think I did okay with the first two resolutions at the start of the year, but then I kind of slacked off after Flanna started pre-K. I'd say it's because we got busy, but we're always busy. It's probably more a factor of my focus being elsewhere--like on making our new place into a home after we moved, which takes SO much longer than you would think.

But I do feel proud of the way I worked hard at #3--being a better wife-- this past year. I think that I was able to lighten up a bit this year, to be less anxious about life sometimes, to make time for shared fun experiences with my husband, to talk about the hard stuff but throw in some humor so we could make it through disagreements with mutual respect still in place, and to just generally listen more fully.

It also didn't hurt that we moved home this summer, which gave us much more freedom to have date nights while Flanna spends time at her cousins' or grandparents' houses! That has been a real blessing.

Making plans:

And now, for the big reveal! My 2012 Happiness Resolutions! (drum roll, please!)
1. Exercise More (seriously, I mean it this time).
2. Submit some of my therapy activity ideas for publication.
3. Trick myself into becoming a neat and tidy person somehow.
4. Call more; write more, visit more.
5. Breathe more deeply; Go outside more.
6. Learn something new every month.
7. Figure out this baby stuff.

More on all those later. For now, it's just good to have had a chance to reflect a bit. And now I will go breathe deeply. That's one resolution I think I can keep.

So, your turn? What are your resolutions for 2012? And, also, do you think you breathe deeply enough on a regular basis? :)

My Little Helper

2012-01-13T20:57:00.000-05:00

Back in November with my mother-in-law. Cute!

Flannery has been all about helping in the kitchen lately, from making her daddy's birthday cake, to making hot tea, to making macaroni and cheese, to helping with making lemonade. I've been really impressed by how she'll stick with me throughout so many steps these days! And she seems to get such a sense of accomplishment from helping. Today, while she was stirring in the butter and milk, she said, "I'm actually really making my own mac and cheese!"

She helped with every step along the way for making, frosting, and adding (gazillions of) sprinkles to her daddy's birthday cake. And tonight, she even helped him blow out the candles! (Happy birthday to Robi!)

The best part is that when she's helping me in the kitchen, we get to wear our matching aprons that my mother-in-law gave us back in November. Seriously, those matching aprons might just win the prize for the "most adorable while still being useful" gift of the year.

How can you involve the children in your life more in chores and household tasks?

Experience Art

2012-01-05T23:58:00.002-05:00

On Tuesday, I took the day off from work to celebrate my birthday, and my mom, Flannery, and I spent the day together. We shopped at Ikea a bit, had lunch, and then went to the High Museum of Art. Flanna was a good sport at the High, even though walking quietly through crowds of quiet adults staring at walls was probably not the most kid-friendly activity ever. She kept pulling me here and there to "show" me different exhibits, and seemed to like the large sculptures best.

Flanna being wholly unimpressed by Warhol

us being silly in front of a self portrait of Andy Warhol
(who Flanna kept calling "Andy Warthog") :)

an amazing mirrored bowl that casts sound waves backwards quite a distance

Flanna's reflection in the giant bowl

studying a cool ocean/constellation piece

our reflection in the "random pieces of glass stacked against the wall" exhibit.
Needless to say, I quickly ushered my 5 year old through this highly breakable exhibit!

The "Marsupial" piece: a representation of a kangaroo pouch turned on its side

Grainger McKoy's bird sculptures were truly amazing. I think this was the most interesting exhibit that day.

Flanna & her grandma with a Picasso

Flanna paying more attention to the duct tape on the floor
(which she practiced walking on in a straight line) than the Picasso paintings above.

Flanna was not a fan of Piet Mondrian

Flanna quoting her Olivia book, "I could do that in about 5 minutes." beside a Jackson Pollock painting

Some of the more quirky pieces we saw included a sculpture made of chewing gum and plastic fake flowers, several animal sculptures by Howard Finster (whose paintings I love, but I didn't realize he did sculpting as well), and a huge canvas of funny looking naked people dancing in a circle (maybe by Matisse?). Flanna said, "Those people don't have any clothes!"

It was a busy day, and at one point, I wondered if it was crazy to try to do so much in one day, but in the end, I'm so glad we went. Art makes me feel happy and calm and connected to the world in a deeper way, which is just what I needed on my birthday.

What type of art lifts your spirits? Paintings, sewing, music? I've made a resolution to listen to more music that I love this year, because I think I underestimate just how much music makes a difference in my mood.

Take in the Beauty

2012-01-02T23:13:00.001-05:00

I've said before here that taking photos makes me appreciate the beauty all around me a bit more. But, really, folks. Taking photos? Makes me appreciate the beauty all around me.

Take, for instance, the amazing and wonderful New Year's Day party my friends Kirsten and Ben threw yesterday. It was altogether a grand experience--good food, great friends, fun for the kids, outside where we could experience nature--all kinds of relaxing goodness.

But because I happened to have my camera in hand, I think I got to notice so many tiny beautiful moments that maybe not everyone else at the party was able to see. Like a quiet tiny girl with wispy hair gathering pecans. And a boy wielding a stick rather gracefully. And sweet toddlers hugging their mama's legs before they ventured out toward the band of older kids. And the bliss of being about to slide. And also, grown ups enjoying their conversation. Grown ups staring at fires. Grown ups catching babies before they fell, without even thinking about it. Just a protective instinct.

The Weepies sing, "All this beauty, you might have to close your eyes. And slowly open wide." And it's so true.

So, happy, happy New Year! Enjoy each little moment of 2012!

How do you remind yourself to be in the moment, and to take in the good parts of your life?

Share and Create Family Traditions

2012-01-02T22:33:00.000-05:00

My husband and I have created a tradition that we now cannot live without. I guess it's really more of a "couple tradition" than a family tradition, but anyway. Each year, our Christmas present to one another is a New Year's Eve trip to Athens. We get a fancy hotel room, leave Flanna with a sitter (this year she spend the night with a friend, even better!), eat a nice dinner out, and ring in the new year downtown with friends.

It's sublime. And I feel refreshed even just talking about it.

It's so nice to have time together just as a couple, and to get to feel young and fun out on the town now and then! I think little breaks from the routine of the day-to-day are essential for a good marriage, and I try to plan little excursions and date nights as often as I can.

Here are some of our cute friends who met up with us. And, by the way, in my defense, there is no graceful way to hold a NYE party favor for a photo. It always looks silly, no matter what.

What "couple traditions" do you and your partner enjoy? Some of my facebook friends have a "Wednesday night funny movie night" each week, which I think sounds so great.

Eat Meals with Neat Folks

2012-01-02T22:02:00.000-05:00

caught a smile!

I read a book about being happy at work about two years ago (Now I can't remember what it was called?), and one of the suggestions the author made was to always eat lunch with someone you find interesting, and to NEVER eat lunch alone in your office. I don't always follow that advice, but when I do, I really do find myself happier at work.

Anyway, I think that advice transfers nicely to home life, too. Eat meals with neat folks, and never eat alone standing over your kitchen sink. Not that I've ever done that. Cough.

Anyway, we met up with some of our favorite folks (and their adorable baby!) for dinner on New Year's Eve, and it was just lovely to sit together and eat some beautiful salads. Really, I think we all got salads. It's New Year's, you know, so I think we're all ready to begin to step back from feasts and caloric bounty to, well, goodness and health. The salad were amazing, though, really! Big City Bread (now kind of a swanky little restaurant!) was good to us that way.

Oh, and the best thing was that there were fires outside and sidewalk chalk for the kids to enjoy. Gotta love a place that creates such ambiance even for kids.

this was her silly pose

my cute hubby

neat folks with adorable baby

we are trying to become hair twins
(and no, I didn't tell him to wear gray so we could be matchy matchy, too. we are just telepathic)

baby boy loved carrying the bucket of chalk the best

not sure if that's ash or chalk dust I captured in the air, but I thought it looked a bit like snow!

What neat folks do you like to eat with?

Jump on Trampolines

2012-01-02T21:27:00.000-05:00

Gretchen Rubin (of Happiness Project fame) says that jumping up and down can bring you a quick happiness boost, and I have to say, I agree.

We visited our friends Heather and Chuck, and their gorgeous kids last weekend, and they have a brand new trampoline! The kids had so much fun jumping! And I even got up there in my little sweater dress and jumped! (Luckily no one snapped any pics of that!) And it really did boost my happiness! Maybe it was because I was following my happiness resolution to "Be Silly, Have Fun," or maybe it really is just fun to jump. Either way, now I'm thinking that I need to look into used trampolines for the back yard!

And isn't baby girl just the cutest thing in the world??? I didn't want to put her down. Ever.

Would you feel silly jumping in place, or would you be willing to try it for an endorphin boost?

Say Yes Whenever Possible

2011-12-29T20:47:00.000-05:00

My friend Kelley's dad had a Christmas party last week, complete with a live band. At some point during the party, the band members asked my friend Monica to sing a Christmas song. So she snagged me and said, "Come sing, too!" I was hesitant but remembered my rule to, "say yes whenever possible." So I snagged my friend Kelley, too (because I'm only brave to a point!). And we sang a few songs! Just like the good old days! (We all did theater together back in the day.)

It was great fun! That "yes" was such a good idea. And I felt so smart for forcing myself to say it! :)

Our girls gave it a try, as well. They were so brave! They didn't seem nervous or shy at all up on stage singing. At one point when they were belting out Rudolph, my friend Amy said, "It's a shame they're so introverted." Hah.

So many times this holiday season, I've just had this overwhelming feeling of how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends and family. It's remarkable what kind and interesting people I am blessed to have in my life.

What have you said "yes" to lately that brought you a happiness boost?

Flanna's New Hair

2011-12-27T22:06:00.000-05:00

Flannery decided she wanted her hair cut "chin-length" last week. It turned out to be really flattering on her!

before

after

after - side view

What fun change have you made recently?

My West Coast BFF

2011-12-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

I have the best friends.

Seriously. The best.

I've gotten to spend lots of time with my west coast BFF this past week, and it's been such fun! My daughter and niece love her! As do I!

What friends are you grateful for?

My Life in Pictures: Christmas in Athens

2011-12-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

We enjoyed a wonderful get-together with some of our good friends from Athens over our Christmas holiday. It's so neat to see the way our friends are as their own little families...such kind, thoughtful, and intuitive partners, spouses, and parents--all in their own different ways. I feel really lucky to know such amazing folks.

And the kids are all such fun! Flannery learned all about Star Wars from some of the boys, and is now begging to get to watch it! We're trying to decide if she's old enough??

How did you catch up with good friends this holiday?

Be Silly; Have Fun

2011-12-18T23:34:00.001-05:00

My happiness commandment #4 is, "Be silly; have fun." When I pause in my whirlwind of chores and work and general busy-ness, and remember to follow my happiness commandments, this is the one commandment that I think does the most to make my relationship with Flanna stronger.

And I think that being silly together creates bonds between Flanna and her friends, too.

Take, for instance, Pajama day at Flanna's school last week. The kiddos (and even Flanna's teacher!) wore their PJs to school last Thursday as part of a special Polar Express party celebration, and it was such a cute bonding experience for all of them! They gasped at one another as they came into school that morning (I made sure to come into her classroom to snap pics!) and just laughed and grinned. Flanna was visibly beaming, and her sweet classmates were, too!

How can you be more lighthearted during this holiday season?

Experience Art

2011-12-18T23:11:00.001-05:00

Art stirs within us something creative and common. Something shared and yet secret.

Experiencing art boosts my happiness. A new song that is finely crafted, a painting that evokes a memory, a dancer as an expression of music--these things just make me happy.

You can imagine my delight that my daughter also loves art--almost any form of it, really. I love that she'll listen to beautiful music on repeat, that she'll study a flower or a beautiful painting intently, that she can watch a dancer move and can imitate the steps without thinking about it--she is naturally graceful and just has an eye and ear for beauty, I think.

We took Flannery, along with my sister, niece, and mother-in-law, to see the Nutcracker recently. (We of course had to bring along our Nutcracker book, and my mother-in-law was kind enough to bring Nutcracker ornaments for the girls, as well.) I loved watching Flannery and my niece take it all in--the lights, the costumes, the dancing. Experiencing art seems to make them happy, too.

Perhaps it runs in the family.

How will you experience art this winter? I'm hoping to take the girls to an art museum if we can find time. Fingers crossed!

By the way, my favorite Nutcracker story book for children is the one by Susan Jeffers. It's got just the right amount of text for a 4 or 5 year old child, and the illustrations are beautiful. The only drawback to the book is that the author changes Clara's name to Marie in the book. (I always try to change it back to Clara as I read it, though, so Flannery knows the real name of the characters.)

Festival Fun

2011-12-18T22:51:00.000-05:00

The girls and I joined my mother-in-law at her school's Holiday Festival recently, and we had a fun evening! My niece did the "ornament walk" (like a cake walk) and won on her first try! The girls had their picture made with Santa, and also made some cute crafts. The hit of the night was the sand art, I think, and don't you just love my niece's Bulldawg themed art? Too funny.

Say Yes Whenever Possible

2011-12-18T22:48:00.000-05:00

Gretchen Rubin (of Happiness Project fame) recently said something in a video she made about relationships and happiness that struck a chord with me. She said (and this is an inexact quote, so please forgive me if I mess it up):

When you're trying to decide whether to make a commitment, think to yourself, "Will this experience build or strengthen relationships with my friends or family?" and, if it will, then say "yes" to that commitment.

We had a rather hectic weekend this weekend--attending a family Christmas party, seeing a movie, helping my sister move, seeing a band, and driving to Athens to see some good friends from out of town. It was kind of a lot to squeeze into one weekend. And at times, I wondered if it was crazy to try to make it to all those different commitments. But I kept thinking to myself--these experiences will strengthen our relationships with our friends and family, so they're a good use of our time.

In the end, I admit we're all a little exhausted. And poor Flanna still has two days of school left before her break! But it's good to feel connected to our extended family, and to see old friends we haven't seen in years, and to get to see my sister's cute new home taking shape. So I think it was worth the effort.

For most people, feeling connected to our friends and family tends to bring us great happiness. And what builds connection more than taking time to be together? So, if you're invited out, or you're thinking of organizing a get-together, but you're not sure that it's worth all the trouble--remember that happiness does not come from sitting at home alone taking it easy, and say, "yes!" whenever possible.

Who can you not wait to see this holiday season? For me, I am happily anticipating seeing my west-coast BFF Kelley, who is on her way toward our home town now, I believe! Yay!

Observe a Tradition

2011-12-18T22:17:00.000-05:00

I took my daughter and niece, along with both grandmothers, to my hometown's little annual Christmas parade recently. We got there really early and got a wonderful seat, so the girls really got to see each float up close. We brought cocoa and blankets, and had such fun. It brought back many memories for me... of clogging down that same road to the tune of Christmas songs, or playing the trumpet in the marching band with tiny pieces of Christma music clipped to the marching stand atop my trumpet, or riding on high school floats in many many parades on that same road. How sweet to share some of the fun and magic with the girls. And it was made even more special in that both grandmothers could enjoy it with us.

Are you a parade person, or would you rather observe other holiday traditions that are less freezing?

The Santa Photo!

2011-12-11T23:05:00.000-05:00

Flanna and her cousin with old Saint Nick. Super cute, don't you think?

Share and Create Family Traditions

2011-12-10T20:51:00.000-05:00

Robi's grandfather "Pop" was a train mechanic for most of his adult life, so we've tried to instill in Flannery a love for trains passed down through the generations. Here she is, playing with our train at the foot of our Christmas tree. This remote control train set (it's Geotrax brand) has been so wonderful, because it's rather sturdy, the track is easy to put together, the train can go forward or backward, it's easy to control, and the batteries seem to last forever in the train and controller. I wish we had more pieces of the track to stretch our train in a wider circuit around the tree--we may have to see if Santa can give us a hand with that wish!

Speaking of Santa, Flannery and her cousin went to see Santa Claus to get photos taken yesterday, and I had NO idea that Flannery was going to ask him for "a baby doll that really peepees and really poo-poos." I really really really reeeeally didn't see that one coming!! She had been asking for a D.S. for 6 months, so I was just shocked. And now I have to do some research on which doll that "really pees and poops" is the least annoying in terms of clean up. The things we have to research as parents. :)

Anyway, these little Christmas traditions, like the Christmas train and pictures with Santa, bring me such joy. I love creating predictable and sweet memories for my daughter and niece, and for all my beloved friends and family, really.

What traditions from your childhood do you hold on to? Have you created any new ones of your own?

Embrace the Things you Enjoy

2011-12-08T20:17:00.000-05:00

My daughter loves princesses. She loves dress up, and wedding day Barbies, and horses with sparkly saddles, and ballet tutus, and just generally anything frilly and fancy.

So, when she got this beautiful Belle gown (from Beauty and the Beast) in the mail for her birthday (thanks to her sweet Aunt Kelley!), you can imagine her reaction. As in, she wanted to wear it exclusively for the following 3 days. And she wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast immediately (while in her dress with her Belle barbie doll.) And she wanted to sing all the songs from Beauty and the Beast over and over and over, and over.

And I embraced it, remembering how I used to love Disney movies and dress up and getting lost in a good story. So, I dug out the Beauty and the Beast movie, and (since my hubby was watching some soccer or football game) let her watch it in our bedroom on the travel DVD player. Along with the Belle barbie I managed to find at the bottom of her Barbie basket. She was in heaven. And the next day, I let her wear her princess dress to her grandparents' house. And she really just couldn't stop glowing.

It got me thinking, that when we embrace what we love, when we know what makes us happy and then do just that, it's easy to glow.

So, I had been reading the Hunger Games. I had finished the first book, and loved it soooo much! And I was trying to pace myself before reading the next two. But then, I realized, if I love reading this trilogy, and it makes me happy to read this trilogy, then why wait? So I got the next two books via my Kindle app and spent a blissful few days reading every chance I got. Now, I've finished the books, but I have such happy anticipation of the movie (coming out in March, I think?). When I hear anything about the Hunger Games, my face just lights up...I believe I glow!

So, embrace the things you enjoy. It might just make you an easier person to be around. I mean, who doesn't like hanging out with glowing girls?

What do you most enjoy doing? Do you allow yourself to take the time to do just that now and then?

5 Scary Things I've Read Recently

2011-12-06T20:38:00.000-05:00

1. "When a child with ADHD has trouble complying, the parents cannot help reacting with greater direction, control, suggestion, encouragement, and ultimately anger."

2. "Research on the interactions between children with ADHD and other adults and children outside the family, such as teachers and peers, shows that when the children with ADHD are placed in a classroom, teachers, like mothers, are likely to increase their commands to, reprimands of, and discipline of the children. "

3. "When children with ADHD first enter a new play group, the other children will start to act like "little mothers"--giving more commands, directions, and help to the children with ADHD."

4. "Over time...parents proceed straight to the last strategy of management that produced some partial success. This can readily lead to immediate negative reactions or harsh physical discipline when the children start to show even minimal disruptive behavior."

5. "When children with ADHD are placed on stimulant medication, the use by mothers, teachers, and peers of commands, disapproval, and general control diminishes to that seen with children who do not have ADHD, and the interactions become generally more positive."

Pretty darn depressing, no?

I've been thinking a lot lately about my ability to be calm, patient, and positive even when I'm repeating directions to my kiddo for the 423rd time. I think that typically, I'm able to be really upbeat and to throw a little humor into the situation, or to set a time limit for when I want a direction to be completed, or to use some strategy that gains compliance eventually. But sometimes, especially if we're in a hurry to get out the door, or if I'm trying to juggle too many tasks in my head, my reserve for being kind and patient and upbeat can become almost nonexistent.

I'm working on it.

And trying to figure out what resources I need to keep things on a positive cycle. Because obviously, given those scary things I've read recently, it's easy to fall into a negative, controlling, demeaning cycle with kiddos with ADHD. And that is the last thing I want to do with my sweet girl.

What helps you maintain a positive frame of mind when dealing with the hard stuff involved in parenting? Or even if you don't have kids--how do you keep yourself patient and kind with those you love?

By the way, the scary quotes are from a really wonderful book (with just a few scary parts, I promise!) called Taking Charge of ADHD, by Russell Barkley, Ph.D.

Force Yourself to Take a Group Photo

2011-12-03T21:52:00.000-05:00

You'll be glad you did.

Nothing's more fun than looking back on geeky group photos of yourself and all your friends/family from different eras. For instance, I remember a wonderful group photo of me and my closest girlfriends from middle school all sitting around in windbreaker outfits. (What were those outfits called?) I think we all have braces and are growing our bangs out at the same time. Seriously, I love that group photo. (One day, I'll take the time to scan it in, so you can see it in all its preteen glory.)

Annnyway. Here are some cute group photos I forced my family to take over the holiday. They'll thank me one day. I'm sure of it.

What group photo do you just love of your friends or family?

Ohh, by the way, I heard this line today on "Eloise's Christmas," (a cute kids' special). It said, "Traditions are gifts you give yourself." (or something like that.) I totally agree!

Create Something With Your Hands

2011-11-30T19:24:00.000-05:00

It brings me great happiness to create a finished product, to work with my hands, and to make something complete and useful. So, it was kind of a joy to put together this swing-set for Flannery for her birthday. My hubby was the real mastermind for getting it to be sturdy and safe (with ground anchors and such) and figuring out the word-less instructions when my brain wouldn't process them. It was fun to work together to create something for our sweet kiddo.

When Flannery got home from her Grandparents' and saw it in the backyard, she ran right past me (waiting with my arms open for a welcome home hug), and jumped onto a swing! I guess that means the swing-set was a hit! And she and her cousin played and played outside on it for hours last weekend, which was really cute to watch. They are now pretty much gymnasts--balancing and hanging from every bar or handle they possibly could.

Do you get joy from creating things with your hands, as well? Or is it just me?

A Small Family Gathering

2011-11-29T22:40:00.000-05:00

Suddenly became huge! Luckily my sweet in-laws volunteered to host Flanna's birthday party at their home, because we never would've been able to fit all these cousins at our place! We were lucky that so many of our family members were visiting from out of town, and we got to see everyone in one fell swoop at Flannery's party.

It was a really wonderful day. The kids played and laughed; the adults chatted and caught up with one another; the food was plentiful; and the weather even cooperated. Flannery decided to wear her Belle dress to the "Princess Party," and I think she felt festive and beautiful (which she was!).

I'm so thankful to my in-laws and to all my family for making the day such fun for her.

Her favorite part of the day, I think, was blowing up the balloons to decorate for the party. She was so proud of herself for being able to do that all by herself. My favorite part was when she walked into the kitchen after I'd hung streamers, and gasped in delight! So sweet!

centerpieces and favors all in one

the princess cake and cupcakes

Flannery and I made the cake, and her Grammie made the cupcakes...yum!

our homemade pinata was not long for the world

the cousins collecting pinata booty

cousins

opening gifts

the five year old beauty

What was your favorite birthday party from when you were a kid? I used to love sleepovers the best. Also, my surprise 16th birthday party was great fun.

Be the Memory Keeper

2011-11-29T18:34:00.000-05:00

5 years and 1 day old!

One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to flip through fashion and architecture magazines just looking at photos of beautiful and interesting things. I found it so relaxing and calming to just take in the visual information, without the words. Which is strange to me, given that I love reading and writing.

Anyway, I was thinking recently that maybe that's why I love photo albums so much. My husband teases me that I'm old school because I still print pictures and put them in albums. But I love that I can flip through them whenever I want to look back on different parts of our life. I know I could do the same with my iPhoto library on my computer, but there's something calming and soothing about flipping pages sometimes, and I'm much more likely to share photos with Flannery if they're in an album. Sometimes we even "read" photo albums as her bed-time books.

It really makes me happy to be the memory keeper for our family. Be it on this blog, or in printed pictures, I love to have a visual record of the beautiful moments in our life.

How do you preserve photos and memories for your family?

My Life in Pictures

2011-11-28T22:42:00.001-05:00

I feel so lucky to have such kind and fun (and interesting and intelligent) friends back in Athens. It warms my heart to think of my dear friends raising such neat kiddos. I have treasured these photos for days trying to decide which ones to post, and I finally just decided to give in and post them all. So, here it is, folks: my life in pictures, Athens style.

visiting our old garden

visiting our old house, and the neighbor's cat Cornbread seems to remember us

sweet brothers

playdate fun

How do you keep up with friends who don't live close by? Do you have regularly scheduled gatherings, or just play it by ear?

Road Trip to Athens

2011-11-23T18:38:00.000-05:00

Flannery found a giant leaf

Flannery and I took a road trip to Athens yesterday. We visited with some good friends, stopped by our old house, and walked around downtown shopping a bit. It was a really lovely trip, and we both enjoyed catching up with some of our old friends. We're already making plans for our next trip back! What fun!

at Trappeze, where we stopped for a cheese plate

playing with her snap bracelet (remember those?)

She got a birthday cat from Helix, one of my favorite downtown shops.

See the yellow gingko trees in the background? So pretty.

What places still feel like home when you visit?

First Corinthians Name Game

2011-11-21T23:25:00.000-05:00

^{1 Corintians 13}⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

I read a book once that challenged us as married folks to put ourselves to the test, to see if we are being the loving partner we aim to be, by filling in our name for the "love" parts of First Corinthians and seeing if the statements hold true.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and it's very humbling.

For instance:

TJ is patient
TJ is kind
TJ does not envy
TJ does not boast
TJ is not proud
TJ does not dishonor others
TJ is not self-seeking
TJ is not easily angered
TJ keeps no record of wrongs
TJ always protects
TJ always trusts
TJ always hopes
TJ always perseveres

You get my drift. Super-humbling.

Especially when I'm in a state of self-pity because my crock pot broke, and then my husband accidentally backed my car into our fence to the tune of $2000 in repairs, and then his car keeps overheating and suddenly needs a new head-gasket, also to the tune of $2000 in repairs. "T.J. always hopes?" Boy, oh, boy, sometimes that's a tall order.

But I like the challenge of trying to live up to First Corinthians in my marriage relationship. I think this topic deserves more focus, and I need to think on it a bit.

What about you? What helps you be the partner you want to be?

Reflect

2011-11-21T22:44:00.000-05:00

Today was a milestone. My sweet little girl turned five.

Five years old. I just can't believe it has come so quickly. Time has flown, and suddenly I am on the verge of mothering a kindergartener.

I'm thankful, of course. I have friends who have lost their daughters, who never got to see this milestone. And I know that it's a gift.

It's a real gift to get to watch this amazing and creative little spirit grow and change. It's a gift to get to guide her into realizing all her wonderful insight and talent and strength. It's a gift to get to experience the world anew each time she learns something or does something for the first time. It's a gift to get to watch my husband as such a patient and gentle father, and my parents as grandparents.

Each day, each year, --it's a gift. But I still want it to slow down. Maybe this is why blogging means so much to me. It's a way to capture these beautiful busy days, to focus on the bigger picture amidst the chaos of appointments and meetings and deadlines and play-dates. It's a way to reflect.

How do you find ways to reflect on your life here and there? Do you think reflecting makes you happier?

Experience Nature

2011-11-13T19:55:00.000-05:00

This weekend, my niece spent the night with us on Friday, and on Saturday, I took the girls to a park near Flannery's school. They played for hours there--swinging, climbing trees, kicking a ball around, finding bugs. Then we came back to the house and did some projects on the back deck to get ready for Flannery's birthday. It was so nice to spend big chunks of time outside--it really calmed my frayed nerves.

On another note, Flannery's birthday present has arrived--her very own swing-set! It's in a box in our back yard as we speak. Fingers crossed we can figure out how to put it together! I'll post pics once it's up!

How did you experience nature this weekend?

Be Dead to Both the Praises and Curses of Men

2011-11-10T20:14:00.000-05:00

Today I have to remind myself to, "be dead to both the praises and curses of men." To "respond with a blessing." To "turn the other cheek." I have to remember that "There is only love." That I am more than what others think of me. That my reward will not be my reputation, will not be my amazing influence on this earth, will not be praises in the here and now. That I am not to live my life for approval or respect or gold stars. But that I am to, "Do my best, and be done with it." That I am to "live my priorities." That I am to "be authentic." I also need to remember to be "slow to speak."

Do you ever have those days where it takes every catch phrase, every happiness commandment, every cheesy verse you can recall, to help you through?

That's me, today.

I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow. Perhaps I just need some time spent in nature. Or some dark chocolate. Or more sleep. Or a maid. Or a vacation.

I'm thinking all of the above sound good.

What cheesy phrase do you call to mind when you need a pick-me-up? My dad always says, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." My mom always used to tell me, "Just do your best, that's all you can do." And my sister used to remind me to, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God." Those all really do seem to help when I'm feeling out of sorts.

20ish Days of Gratitude

2011-11-06T21:08:00.000-05:00

Today, I'm thankful for my husband.

Who makes me laugh. Who is a true partner in life. Who dreams big dreams and then makes them happen. Who finds new music and makes me listen to it. (OK, I admit I usually enjoy it.) Who gives me neck massages and listens to me gripe when I'm stressed out. Who teaches the dogs cool tricks. Who teaches Flanna to teach the dogs cool tricks. Who makes excellent tofu. Who walks or bikes everywhere and inspires me to be healthier. Who just gets cuter with age (no fair!). Who has known me from nerdy teenage years to nerdier college years to even higher levels of nerd-dom in grad school and SLP life, and still manages to think I'm pretty. Who prays before each meal. Who takes care of me when I am sick. Who listens to the Indigo Girls and Joni Mitchell without complaint on long car trips. Who kisses me every time he says good-bye. Who balances out my anxious nerves with his calm demeanor. Who is a gentle and supportive father to our little girl.

Seriously, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Who has known you and loved you through many stages of life?

80 Years Young!

2011-11-05T21:24:00.000-04:00

Robi's grandmother "Mema" turned 80 last month, and we celebrated her birthday together today. We all came to her house a little early to help get some little projects done for her. We put pinestraw out in her flower beds, planted some pansies for her, and my brother-in-law fixed a wind-chime for her. It was a nice relaxing evening all together with the family and a few of her neighbors. Flannery has so much fun with Mema, and I'm so thankful that they've developed such a sweet bond.

I hope one day when I'm 80, I'll be as full of life and joy, and as loved by my family and friends, as Mema is.

they are so cute together

with her daughters

with her grandchildren

How can you make the day special for someone in your life soon?

20ish Days of Gratitude

2011-11-04T23:42:00.000-04:00

Today I'm thankful for the gorgeous ground I stepped out onto this morning. Autumn gusts of wind are good for more than just crazy hair! They also blow in beauty of the maple variety.

By the way, isn't Maple a beautiful name? I also love Cedar. You know, because I'm such a tree hugger. :)

What beautiful sight are you thankful for today?

Forget not the Beauty of the In-Between

2011-11-04T22:02:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite songs is Deb Talan's "The Gladdest Thing" (based on Edna St. Vincent Millay's poem, Afternoon on a Hill), and one of the best lines in that song is:

"I want to be champion of evening, to forget not the beauty of the in-between."

I think of this line a lot when I'm feeling discouraged about my progress toward a goal. I so often get caught up in my dreams of what the future will bring for us--a tenure-track job for my hubby, a new baby at some point (not anytime soon--don't want to excite the grandparents just yet!), our home decorated just like I want it, a bigger house, a comfortable savings account and no debt, well-trained dogs that don't bark like maniacs every time someone comes to the door, maybe a book I will write one day--that I forget to "enjoy the beauty of the in-between."

Even now, here, in this moment, I should be enjoying the beauty of our "in-between."

As I sit in my quiet, cozy, (messy!) living room in our little rental house, as my daughter sleeps upstairs (after praying so earnestly for a little sister before bed!), as my husband's job applications float out into the world full of hope and potential (and not a little anxiety!), as we live this comfortable life (even though our savings have dwindled to a pittance after the gazillion doctor's visits we've had this month!)--I can either focus on how far we are falling short of our ultimate goals--or I can look for the beauty here in the in-between.

I tried to explain this to Flannery the other day, the idea of the "in-between." She was saying that she really wanted her bangs to grow out so that she could look just like her cousin. And I told her that her bangs were growing really quickly, and that I really liked them this length because we could sweep them over to the side, and they looked cute and breezy. I told her that once they had actually grown all the way out, that would be cute, too, but that the little wisps along the way were just beautiful.

I don't think she believed me. But really, the in-between is beautiful on her. Don't you agree?

Forget not the beauty of the in-between. There really are things to love about the time we spend on the path to our ultimate goals. Now if I could just remember this great truth more often than twice a year!

How are you enjoying the "in-between" in your life?

Have lots of Picnics

2011-11-01T20:17:00.000-04:00

My mom saved a letter that my grandma Norma wrote to me when I was about 4, and in the letter, I remember my grandma said that she hoped I got to "have lots of picnics" that week. I think of that sometimes when I'm trying to find something to do that Flannery and I will both enjoy. It seems like good advice, to "have lots of picnics," because every time a meal is a picnic, it becomes special.

Today, Flannery had a teacher's work day, so I took the day off to be with her. We had such a calm and peaceful day. We stayed in our pajamas until probably 11 or so, playing with her train set, painting, and snuggling together watching some cartoons. Then, we walked down the street to the Methodist children's home and had a picnic.

The Children's Home is great--there is a park, there are gardens, there are ball fields, and there's even a duck pond on the campus. There's also an old chapel there that is just gorgeous. And today, one of the master gardeners happened to be working in the garden while we were there for our picnic, and she let us inside the chapel! I'd been wanting to see the stained glass windows from inside, and they did not disappoint! The gardener told us that the chapel had been built in 1907 and that it had been the church she had attended as a child. The Candler family gave the money to have it built, and it's been preserved beautifully. Flannery loved the organ inside, and the tiny flowers outside that grow between the rocks in the garden. And I loved the dark wood of the pews and the ceiling--and the interesting window dedicated to Asa Candler.

It was like finding a little treasure to get to see all those beautiful sights today--and none of it would've happened if we hadn't decided to have a picnic.

How can you work a picnic into your schedule? My coworker, Kristen, and I used to take our lunch outside on nice days back in Chapel Hill, and it was such a mini vacation to be outside in the sunlight now and then.

Go Forth and Be Silly

2011-10-31T22:15:00.001-04:00

Cleopatra, Monarch Butterfly, & Soccer Player

What a fun night! We walked a few blocks around our house and were very pleasantly surprised by the quality of the trick or treating in our new little neighborhood! I even saw another Cleopatra! And Robi met someone dressed up as an equally unknown soccer player!

Flannery wore her sparkly light-up shoes, and it was really cute to see her stomping and skipping around to light our path. Her favorite part, though, seemed to be passing out candy to the "customers," as she called them. (I think that was probably because she could eat candy while doing so!)

How have you been silly and had fun lately?

Go the Extra Mile for Family Time

2011-10-30T21:49:00.000-04:00

Since we moved closer to family, I often feel like we didn't move close enough. It takes us about 45 minutes to get to my in-laws' or my sister's house, and although I'm not complaining about that commute compared to the 8 hour drive it used to take before we moved, I do still sometimes get tired of all the driving we have to do to get to hang out with our family.

But even though it can sometimes feel like a hassle, it is always, ALWAYS worth it in the end.

I hope that one day, Flannery and her cousins will look back on fun times they spent together as kids and feel a part of something big and strong and loving. More than just family--a family that really appreciates one another and realizes the strong effect we have on one another's lives. On both sides, I tell you, we are so lucky to have just that.

monarch butterfly & little red riding hood are ready!

These were the scariest faces they could muster. :)

hay ride fun

Stair-step cousins all dressed up for the fall festival

If you could, how close would you choose to live to all your family? I think men and women might differ on this one. I think I'd be happiest living 15 to 30 minutes away from family. Mostly because I'd love to have a weekly dinner all together with the extended family. And because any commute over 30 minutes long overwhelms me.

My Life in Pictures

2011-10-30T21:22:00.000-04:00

Halloween celebrations were in full swing this weekend. Flannery had such a fun time! Here are some of the highlights:

Flannery designed the face on paper first, then drew it on the pumpkin, and I carved her design.
She called her design, "A sad one-tooth-pumpkin."

The original design is in front. I think it's pretty close.

Old one-tooth lives!

I just had to take a photo of this cute Halloween card Flanna made for our dog, Padme.
She drew a scary house on the left and Padme dressed up as a monster on the right. She loves the dogs so much!

How do you foster creativity in your kids?

5 Reasons Halloween is the Best Holiday Ever

2011-10-30T21:12:00.000-04:00

Halloween is really the best holiday ever. I remember my friend Nikki telling me when Flanna was a baby, that after her kids got a little older, she loved Halloween even better than Christmas. I couldn't believe it at the time, but now I'm beginning to see why Halloween really could trump Christmas as the best holiday ever. Here are five reasons why:

1. There are tons of fun traditions to share. At my house, we've participated in the following super-fun traditions (which have all brought me big happiness boosts, by the way!): decorating our front bushes with "spider-webs," creating ghosts from dum-dum pops and tissues, picking out a pumpkin, carving said pumpkin, baking pumpkin bread, finding the perfect costume, going to fall festivals, and of course, trunk-or-treating!

2. We have an excuse to buy candy and keep it in the house for a week or two. Not the healthiest reason, but, hey, candy is fun now and then! Especially Twizzlers. Yum.

3. We get to dress up and be silly. I love love love that my whole family dresses up to trick or treat together. This year, we won't have a theme for our costumes. (We would've never been able to top last year's costume, anyway!) But we're really excited about our outfits!

4. There's no pressure to buy gifts or cook anything fancy. No wondering whether the turkey is really cooked all the way through; no stressing over the perfect gift for anyone; no intricate recipes to follow, no hoping you didn't burn the rolls this year. Heck, you don't even have to buy candy if you don't want to. Just turn your porch light off and go trick or treating! (Although I highly recommend passing out candy if you get the chance--it's probably more fun than trick-or-treating, I think!)

5. Much of the fun happens outside during a time of wonderful weather. And you know how experiencing nature makes me happy! I mean, really--who can be sad when you're tromping through pumpkin fields on a breezy day, or riding on a hay ride bundled up beside friends, or walking down streets lined with gorgeous orange and yellow trees to trick-or-treat?

So, what do you think? Is Halloween the new Christmas? All the magic but none of the headache? All of the fun and none of the expense? Or do you think it's too dark and spooky to claim rank among the top holidays? I have to say, it really is one of my favorite times of year. So there you go, Nikki, you were right!

What do you love about Halloween?

Do Not Eat the Bread of Idleness

2011-10-27T01:23:00.000-04:00

"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." - Proverbs 31:27 (regarding a "virtuous wife")

If you haven't noticed, I've been remarkably absent from the blogging world this past week. I've so missed it, and hope to have more time to reflect on life soon, but for now, I'm just chugging along getting my work and housework done and trying to spend some quality time with my kiddo. Tonight, I had lesson plans to check and e-mails to respond to and phone calls to make and dishes to do and birthday invitations to mail and laundry to fold, and then, don't you know, Flanna ended up not feeling well. So all that went out the window while I snuggled and took her temperature and gave her snacks and medicine. And then, after she finally fell asleep, I was able to steal away to check lesson plans and e-mail and get to the dishes and the laundry.

You know, in the middle of the night. Like a crazy person.

But I need to be at work super early tomorrow, and Robi is going to be amazingly wonderful and stay at home with her tomorrow, and I just didn't want to leave him with a sick kiddo and dishes and laundry to top it all off.

So, the verse in my head tonight is, "She does not eat the bread of idleness." Other verses from Proverbs 31 apply tonight, too, like:

"She experiences work as a good thing, and her lamp is not quenched all night." (Prov. 31:17)

I do typically experience work as a good thing, but I have to say that this lamp is about to be quenched for a bit. Goodnight, all!

What little quotes or mottos keep you motivated when you have a lot of tasks on your plate?

Live Your Priorities: Push away the Fog of a Hectic Life

2011-10-19T11:30:00.000-04:00

This week has been a good one so far. I've started volunteering at Flannery's school on Monday mornings, and it's amazing how much happiness that one change has brought me. It's such a blessing to see her in action in her classroom, and to get to meet all of her sweet little classmates, and to see how affectionate they are with one another. When Flannery walks into her classroom in the mornings, there are two little girls who run to her and give her hugs, calling out, "Flannery!!" It's just adorable.

And now, when I drop her off or come by for lunch at her school, the kids all say, "Hi Flannery's mom!" It's nice to get to know them, and to get a glimpse into the individual life and community she's creating at school.

I've also tried to focus on being more patient with my family and making time to chat together about more than just the necessities. It's so easy to get busy and just kind of bark information to one another in the rush of the day. Does your life get that crazy, too? Sometimes I think that we are so polite to our coworkers and friends, but then we forget our manners when it comes to our family--the very people we care most about! I would never speak to a client the way I rush my daughter around in the mornings. "Get in the car! Close the door!" And I should give her the most consideration, as she's my darling girl! I'm trying to work on that.

Yesterday, we had a special "ice cream date" after I picked her up from school, and I made a point to just soak in the moment and really listen to her as she picked out only the chocolate chip cookie dough from her mini blizzard. :) I also have been trying to ask more about the specifics of my hubby's day, because I just feel more connected and calm, and it's easier to be patient and easy-going, when I know what was hard and what was easy for him that day at work. Sometimes I feel like the "fog" of hectic life descends on us as a family, and I have to really step back and take strong action to get us back to living our priorities.

I have a long way to go, I know, but a few little steps toward living my priorities make for a pretty big happiness boost for me. Which keeps me going toward the next set of baby steps.

Do you feel sometimes that the fog of a hectic life surrounds you? What baby steps can you take this week toward living your priorities?

Make Something with Your Hands: Fine Motor Fun

2011-10-19T10:54:00.000-04:00

My niece's heart

Last weekend, I was going through my craft supplies, and I came upon these little heart-shaped needlepoint templates I had bought last Christmas. A perfect fine motor activity for our princess weekend, I thought! I threaded some plastic jewelry-making needles with colorful thread for the girls (complete with a bead at the end of the thread so they didn't have to tie anything to get started on their hearts), and then set them free to "sew" however they wanted to.

I was so impressed with their handiwork. Flannery is almost five now, and her cousin is 8, and they both used such neat and careful stitches. Flannery loves patterns, so I think the methodical part of this craft was right up her alley. She kept saying, "and over, and through" as she worked on the border, and she was determined to get it just right, undoing stitches if they didn't look even. My niece also undid and re-did some of her needlework so that "the pink is splashed all around." She has a nice flair for design!

The only help they needed was with tying the string at the end. And they seemed so pleased with themselves. I've said it before, but I think it's really true for many of us: making something with our hands is rewarding.

I think we'll do this craft again during the holidays--I'm picturing a tree filled with cute hand-made hearts and stars. What fun!

Flannery's heart

Did you learn a neat skill as a child? (sewing, woodworking?) I learned to weave in 3rd grade, and to crochet, as well, and I remember really enjoying working so hard on a project and having a beautiful finished project at the end.

Anticipate Fun

2011-10-15T20:43:00.000-04:00

Notice the fun girl pumpkin Flanna
decorated with her Grammie?

Yesterday, we went with my niece's Brownie troop to see Disney on Ice. Flannery dressed up in her Cinderella dress for the big event, and we had such a nice time. I think part of the fun was just in looking forward to the show--we talked about it for days ahead of time, decided what to wear, tried to guess what the show would be like, and just generally got excited about what was to come. Anticipating fun can really bring a lot of happiness for me--maybe that's why I like to plan things way in advance! Anyway, Disney on Ice really lived up to the anticipation. We all enjoyed it, and I think it was a magical night for Flannery and my niece! We were so grateful to my sister for inviting us!

What fun time are you anticipating?

My Life in Pictures: Pumpkin Patch Fun

2011-10-08T18:48:00.000-04:00

Today, my mom, my mother-in-law, and I took the girls to the pumpkin patch. It was a gorgeous day, but really windy! I guess the up-side is that it was nice and cool, but we were all wishing for pony-tail holders the whole day! There were so many fun fall activities to do at the farm--I was really surprised with the variety, and we weren't even able to do all they had to offer. (I admit, I was too nervous to take the girls in the corn maze! I've been known to get lost for hours in those things!) We even ran into Flannery's teacher there, which was a wonderful surprise. The girls' favorite part of the day was getting to pick cotton. Flannery said, "I didn't know that cotton grew like in cottonballs!"

I'm looking forward to carving our pumpkins and baking some nice pumpkin bread or pies soon!

On the cow train

Riding bouncing horses

We had some wonderful fresh squeezed lemonade

Isn't this cotton beautiful as it begins to open?

Such gorgeous geometry here

The girls found this huge writing spider in the cotton field. So pretty!

The grandmothers and grandkids in a field of zinnias.

We made thank you notes for the troops overseas.

Flannery with her sweet teacher

The girls being spooky and scary!

Grammie and Grandma got little pumpkins, too!

How are you enjoying the fall season so far?

Each time I read this, I get a lump in my throat

2011-10-08T00:16:00.000-04:00

"Weary of all who come with words, words but no language
I make my way to the snow-covered island.
The untamed has no words.
The unwritten pages spread out on every side!
I come upon the tracks of deer in the snow.
Language but no words."
--Tomas Tranströmer (From March 1979)

Maybe it's because this poet suffered a stroke and now has aphasia--a communication disorder I've treated as an SLP-- maybe that's why this poem is dear to my heart. Or maybe it's because nature and language are such a huge part of what makes me happy, but each separately--and this poet reminds me that at times, they are one. Or maybe it's because I too grow weary of words without meaning or depth, and yearn for true communication free from fear. I'm not sure exactly why it is, but this verse chokes me up when I read it.

I'm so happy to hear that the author, Tomas Transtromer, won the Nobel Prize in Literature this week. I've only read snippets of his work here and there, but now I want to curl up with his whole book of poems to see what other wisdom and beauty are within.

Preferably by a fireplace.

Which I don't have.

I may have to settle for on the couch with some hot tea. And a University of Georgia snuggie. Doesn't that sound poetic? I know you envy my luxurious lifestyle.

But seriously, check out this poet. You'll be glad you did.

What's your favorite poem? Do you have any poems posted in your home that bring you joy or peace? Please share them! I'd love to hear.

Strep, Strep, and More Strep

2011-10-05T21:11:00.000-04:00

I took Flanna to the doctor today, and she has strep. Then, I wasn't feeling very well, so I went to my doctor. And I have strep, too.

Lovely.

This is a busy work week for me. I have so much to do at work and a short timeline in which to get it all done. I was thinking I would just push on through and go to work tomorrow. But then I called my friend from work to chat about the plan for tomorrow, and she talked some sense into me.

"You have strep, TJ! You need to stay home and get better!"

And suddenly it seemed crazy to push on through while I'm sick. I mean, really, the world will not fall apart just because I'm out for a day.

Don't you love it when you have a friend who tells you when you're being crazy?

What's your favorite way to help yourself feel better when you're sick? Flanna and I had hot peppermint tea with honey today, and chicken noodle soup, and popsicles. And my throat really did feel better after all those wonderful liquids. :)

5 Ways to Enjoy a Lazy Sunday

2011-10-02T19:47:00.000-04:00

1. Sleep late, but not so late that you miss church. You'll be happy you went.

2. Braid your daughter's hair when she asks you to. She'll play with those braids all day, smiling to herself.

3. Walk to the pond down the street to feed the ducks. You'll have to give your daughter a piggy-back ride home, but you'll both feel refreshed. Plus, you'll see that cool house down the street where they already decorated for Halloween, and you would've missed that from inside a car.

4. Snuggle up on the couch with your dogs and your daughter to watch "Good Luck Charlie" on the Disney Channel. You could've hung those curtains you've been meaning to get to, or tried to get your closet in order. But that snuggly time will mean a lot to the kiddo, and she could care less about your curtains.

5. Eat dinner at the table as a family. With something fresh and green thrown in. It feels good to be around a table together, and even better to eat a homemade meal.

How did you enjoy your lazy Sunday?

Take a Walk

2011-10-01T22:49:00.000-04:00

Today Robi, Flannery, and I took a walk to the park to see my friend Rachel's son play a little soccer. If you've never seen three year olds play soccer before, I have to tell you, it's pretty adorable. Kind of chaotic and confusing, but really cute.

Did I mention she's smitten?

Rachel's new baby Roane (okay, she's really like 7 months old now, but, still, that's pretty new, right?) was there, too, and Flannery was just smitten. She got to "hold" Roane a few times, and was so attentive and gentle with her. It was sweet to see a glimpse of how Flanna would be with a little one around. She wants more than anything to have a little brother or sister.

Agh, the things that pull at my heart.

Annnyway. The thing is, that walk, that un-rushed time strolling to and from the park--brought me exponential amounts of happiness. Maybe it's that it combined so many things that bring me happiness: my family, experiencing nature, chatting with those I love, visiting with dear friends. But really, it sort of surprised me that such a simple thing brought me such a happiness boost.

So, if you wanna get happy, just take a walk.

Even better, take a walk with folks you love.

Even better, take a walk with folks you love to go visit other folks you love. Seriously, if you do that, you just might enter the death spiral of gladness.

Flanna crossing the "troll bridge" with Daddy-O

those eyes!

The dads

a little soccer action

my little monkey

F wanted to wear her hood backward. Y'know, all the cool kids are doing it.

Roane & Rachel

sweet sweet sweet

What's your favorite place to walk to from your home? Who do you enjoy walking with? Go forth and get walking! (and let me know if it makes you happier!)

Create Something with Your Hands - Our New Motto

2011-09-30T14:08:00.000-04:00

My niece and my daughter love to spend hours outside in the back yard digging and "cooking" and creating their own little imaginary world. I let them have an old sheet I was going to send to Goodwill, and they added to our teepee to create something really special, complete with ribbons and pipe cleaner

decorations (that look pretty native to me). They were so pleased with themselves, and Flannery gets a kick out of seeing her hand-made teepee every time we go outside.

Create something with your hands. It's our new motto, and it really does boost our happiness around here.

What have you created lately that you were proud of?

Create Something With your Hands

2011-09-26T21:31:00.000-04:00

When Flanna was home sick, we were both kind of in a funk. I was obsessing about all the work I should've been doing, and she was just feeling blah.

So, to cheer us up, I tried out the cookie press we got from my brother in law and his wife last Christmas. It was great fun, and brought back some sweet memories of making "cookie press cookies" with my grandma and mom.

Creating something with my hands is so satisfying. And really brought us a happiness boost.

And cookies to enjoy were just the icing on the cake.

What have you made with your hands lately?

Matchy Matchy

2011-09-25T13:29:00.000-04:00

The girls feel so special when they match. So, we try to get matching outfits for them for certain occasions. I think it promotes in them a feeling of belonging, which these "only children" need now and then. Plus, now it's a little "family tradition," and you know how family traditions make me happy!

These dresses were for my niece's 8th birthday party. Soooooo cute, right?

looking for frogs in the pond

What do you think about families wearing matching clothes? Too cheesy for you, or do you think it helps promote a spirit of belonging?

Speechy Sunday: Teaching Art Vocabulary

2011-09-18T14:12:00.000-04:00

On Friday, my husband and I took Flanna and my niece to an art show in Atlanta. Our friend Dana had some paintings in the show, and we had visited the gallery a few times before successfully, which made me brave enough to try it out during an event.

At the show, I gave each of the girls a notepad and pen so that they could write down the names of their favorite artists of the night. (Flanna just drew a picture of the paintings she liked because she was too short to see the cards with the artists' names on them.) I was amazed at how having a little task to do during the evening made them really study each painting and take an interest in the types of pieces there. By the end of the night, they were using words like, "portrait, landscape, abstract, and still life" on their own. And they wanted to talk about how the artists might have painted each painting--by using a paintbrush (could we see the strokes?) or by using a putty knife, or even fingers! My niece got pretty good at picking out an oil painting versus acrylic. It was a really fun way for them to learn. And it was neat, too, to get a glimpse into their tastes.

Here are some of our favorite paintings from the show.

Flannery's favorite, by Dana Johns

my pick, by Sabre Esler

one Robi liked, by Scott Hill

Flanna listing her favorites (she circled the one with the tree as the best)

My niece listing her favorites

My niece with her pick of the night, by Betty Anglin Smith

Who's your favorite artist? I'd really love to hear.

Experience Nature: The Zoo

2011-09-17T22:22:00.000-04:00

the baby tigers were everyone's favorites of the day!

Yesterday, I met my sister and cousin after work at the zoo, and all the little cousins got some wonderful bonding time together. The weather was amazing and perfect, with a cool breeze and cloud cover but no rain. We even had to break out the long sleeves!

An afternoon outside in nature, watching animals eat, play, and rest, was just what we all needed, and I found it pretty rejuvenating. Plus, we all slept well that night after a day of walking around! Another big plus!

Flanna roaring. (Oh my goodness, I just want to eat this child up!)

See what I mean?

Standing like flamingoes by the flamingoes.

Cuddling cousins

How have you gotten to experience nature this weekend?

Create Something with Your Hands, and other Tips for Reducing Stress

2011-09-16T23:38:00.000-04:00

This has been a busy and stressful week. I've felt like I'm getting sick for the past few days, have worked long days and late nights, haven't seen my daughter much at all, and still, yes, still, have boxes left to unpack from when we moved in. When laundry piles up, and dishes go unwashed, and I have tight deadlines looming...it seems like my best attempts to be the gladdest thing, and look at the glass as half full, and appreciate what I have--just don't cut it.

So, what do I do on weeks like this?

Here are the five things I've noticed myself doing to reduce my stress level (and I think they're pretty consistently things that I turn to when I need a happiness boost, as well.):

1. I create something with my hands. - I love to create things. I love crafts. I like to build things out of whatever I can find. I like to hang pictures on a wall or paint a shelf or wrap a present well. This week, on one of my busiest days, when I felt like I was furthest away from "living my priorities," Flanna and I went outside for a few minutes, took a piece of bamboo that had fallen during a storm, and created a teepee. Nothing fancy. Just bamboo and some string. But using a saw and some ribbon to turn one long piece of bamboo into something new and fun for Flannery was really rewarding and quite a mood lifter.

2. I listen to music I love. - Not new music, but music I've heard over and over for many years. For me, there is great comfort in knowing every word and note to a song, and listening to it on repeat, even!

3. I clear a surface. - Just cleaning off one table, or one shelf, or one area in my living rom can really help me feel calmer and less anxious. I'm messy by nature, so it seems counterintuitive that clearing a surface could bring me such peace, but somehow, it does.

4. I eat chocolate. - Dark chocolate is best. And not too much. Just one or two bites will do. Any more than that, actually, and it cancels out the mood boost, for me. Overindulging just makes me feel yucky about myself, so I really do stick to a tiny bit. (I'm a moderator, so that works for me. But if you're an "abstainer," this one may not work for you, I think.)

5. I read a book to my daughter. - Some of the best times I've ever had as a mom have been sharing books with my daughter and niece. Tonight, I read "Amelia Bedelia goes Camping," with them, and I have to say, it was probably the best part of my day. Super fun and super silly. Plus, such wonderful figurative language and vocabulary!

And now the crazy busy week is over, and I get to spend some quality time with my daughter and niece, and I finally have a bit of time to attempt some more unpacking and organizing at home, and maybe even to clear another surface! So things are getting better all the time.

What do you do when you're overly stressed, to help reduce your anxiety level?

Every Once in a While...

2011-09-14T21:28:00.000-04:00

...there's a photo of me that I don't hate.

And since I look back on photos of myself when I was in my twenties and say, "Oh, my goodness, why didn't I think I was gorgeous then?", I've decided to embrace good pics of myself now, even to print them up and put them in photo albums. I am the memory keeper, after all. And one day, Flanna might flip through an album and say, "That's exactly how I remember my mom from when I was a kid." And maybe that will make her happy, or bring back a sweet moment in her mind's eye.

So, here it is. The photo I don't hate. Taken by a friend at work.

What photo of your mom as a young woman do you just love? I have this one of my mom in short shorts and a hippie shirt, with glasses and long straight hair, leaning against a car. And it takes me right back to being four years old sitting on a cool metal glider bench in the back yard, picking mint from the garden, watching our cats dart from under one car to another in the driveway as parents chatted standing by cars. Funny the things we remember.

Create an Outdoor Nook

2011-09-12T20:54:00.000-04:00

I find again and again when I'm trying to get my daughter involved in play, that when she has a cozy little "nook" in which to play, she sticks with activities for much longer. She just loves little spaces all her own where she can nestle in and feel comfortable.

We just moved to a new place, and I think that indoors at our new home, I've created a lot of little nooks for Flanna, but outdoors, we really haven't done much. So, recently when her cousin was visiting, I decided to break out our tent (the one we actually use for camping) to create a little outside nook for them. They helped me set up the poles and stake the tent to the ground, and they were so proud of their tent when it was ready! They played in the tent for two days straight, having snacks, pretending to build fires, setting up sleeping bags for every baby doll Flanna owned, and just generally pretending to camp. What a quick and easy outside "nook" for them, and it really did help engage them in creative play together.

a "fire" the cousins built

What were your favorite "nooks" when you were a child?

Wild Dogs

2011-09-11T22:37:00.000-04:00

We've been spending a lot of time outdoors these days as summer is cooling off, and our once inside-all-the-time dogs are changing! They've become a little more wild, a little more territorial, and tons happier! They are so cute running around the yard, burrowing under logs and bushes, barking at everything that moves. I'm not so sure it's a good thing as far as making friends with the neighbors! But it's nice to see them so happy!

What are your pets' favorite activities? Are you able to provide those experiences for them regularly?

Experience your Community where You Are

2011-09-08T07:15:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to feel more at home in our new neighbor- hood. To work toward that, I've decided that I need to try to get out into the community a bit more than just working and taking Flanna to school. So, this weekend, we went to the Decatur Book Festival. It was right downtown in a cute little area, and there was so much to do. There were hula hoop contests, and tons of booths with books and toys and art for sale, and authors speaking on stages and signing their books, as well. I was impressed that the turnout was so good for the festival.

The girls seemed to enjoy it, too, especially the puppet show and the kettle corn! All in all, it was a nice little adventure, and while I still miss Athens and all the other places I hold in my heart as "home," I'm confident that we'll settle in and feel connected in this new home soon, too.

Our own version of Where's Waldo? Can you find the cousins?

Say Yes Whenever Possible

2011-09-06T23:32:00.000-04:00

One of my rules as a parent is to "say yes whenever possible." I try to reserve my "no" for important things, and to never just say no because something is inconvenient or would interrupt me a bit.

So when the girls asked if they could wear their hair up in a messy bun when we went to a festival recently, instead of going with my initial instinct, which was, "that will take 10 minutes, and I want to leave right now," I took a deep breath, grabbed a brush, and just said, "yes."

They were so proud of their hair that day. Every time they passed a mirror in a restaurant, or saw their reflection in a store window, they would say something like, "I look so cute!" or "Look at my hair--it's still up!"

I was so glad I said, "yes," and really, who cares if we left ten minutes later than I had planned? Sometimes I have to remind myself to let my "no" be reserved for the big stuff, and to say "yes" whenever possible.

What have you said "yes" to lately that brought your family a bit of happiness?

Watching the Game

2011-09-04T11:04:00.001-04:00

Here's a cute video clip from the game! Flanna says, "It's really fun, and it's really past my bedtime!"

Savor each Stage

2011-09-04T10:14:00.000-04:00

the humongous birthday dessert

My niece just turned eight. Eight! I remember when when she first came into our family, when she was just two and so tiny and spunky!

And now she's so grown up and sophisticated and helpful and sweet. She loves to cuddle, and she loves to read. She's a beautiful singer, and she has such a creative imagination. She's artistic and has a good fashion sense. And she loves Jesus, and she tries to do the right thing. And she's socially intuitive in little ways, like knowing how to negotiate with Flanna to calm her down when she's upset, or when to just give a little hug. It's so neat to see how her personality unfolds and her adult self emerges bit by bit. I'm trying to savor each stage with these girls. Because, as Gretchen Rubin says, "the days are long, but the years are short."

What stage of life are you savoring right now?

Root for a Team

2011-09-04T09:42:00.000-04:00

cute cousins

We took the girls to a Braves game on Friday. It was Flannery's first baseball game ever, and we went to see her cousin sing the national anthem along with her school choir. The choir did a beautiful job singing, and I got all teary-eyed watching them!

The funny thing was, that although Flanna had never even heard of the Braves until that day, she was instantly a passionate fan, cheering, chanting, and dancing in the stands. She said her favorite part was the Tomahawk Chop, where everyone in the crowd chants together and waves their arms like a chopping tomahawk. I think that rooting for a team together is such a sweet bonding experience, and the girls felt such empathy for the players when they missed a hit or were out. It really made me think about how belonging to a team can bring us happiness despite winning or losing. Just being together and rooting together for a common goal is fun.

Unfortunately, the Braves lost the game. Boo! But we left early, while we were still in the lead. And really, I doubt the loss would've shaken our team spirit, anyway!

We got to "walk the bases" (a.k.a. walk around the edge of the field) before the national anthem.

intently watching the game

Do you root for any teams? And if so, do you think it adds to your happiness?

Gallop-a-trot, Gallop-a-trot

2011-08-29T21:32:00.000-04:00

Flannery is currently obsessed with princesses and horses.

And unicorns, well, that's just the combination of all that is princess and horse, right?

So you can imagine her giddy delight when she was able to ride a REAL! UNICORN! (her words exactly) yesterday at the back-to-school festival at the Speech School. The pony's (er, unicorn's) name was Glory, and I think she will go down in history as the most perfect horse in all the ages.

If you ask Flanna, I mean.

What brings you giddy delight these days?

Try, Try Again

2011-08-29T21:25:00.000-04:00

I remember the first time I pulled out a set of leggos with Flannery, and I was so excited to share what had been one of my favorite toys as a kid with my daughter.

Trouble was, though, that she picked up a leggo, tried in vain to push it down onto the base, then gave up in disgust and moved on to another toy nearby. I tried not to be too crestfallen, but I had really hoped that she would share my love of building and patterns and even architecture.

But, as the saying goes, if at first you don't succeed...

I brought out the leggos a few weeks ago, and this time, Flanna built a whole house frame all on her own. I helped her add the roof and the porch, but the main building was all her own doing! We worked on the little house for close to two hours, and sweet Flanna just didn't want to stop working until it was perfect. It was really fun, and such a happy moment for me to pass down an activity I had so enjoyed at her age.

Sometimes I need to remember that the first experience or the first response to an activity or skill isn't the be-all end-all. Backing off and then re-introducing the activity later can sometimes work wonders.

You'd think potty training a toddler would've taught me that. How quickly we forget!

What do you need to try, try again with your kids or students? What do you need to back off from for a bit?

Yet Another Reason Why My Husband is Da Bomb

2011-08-29T21:07:00.000-04:00

They now point out the capitol (and the GOLD!) every time we pass by!

He took the girls to the Capitol this summer, and on many other little mini field-trips around the city. They still talk about those days, and I think it made them feel very special to have some time just with Robi.

The tiniest girl by the grandest portrait ever.

What was your favorite field trip destination as a kid? I used to love the zoo, but think I learned most at the High Museum of Art.

Experience Nature

2011-08-29T20:58:00.001-04:00

Today, I worked from home, and at lunch time, Flannery and I got to have a special picnic in the back yard. The dogs came outside, too, and we all lazed around in the shade for a bit just feeling the breeze and munching on healthy food. It was such a mood booster that it made me brainstorm ways to be outside more in my day-to-day work routine.

Anyway, we've had some really special times together outdoors this summer, and I wanted to share a few of those experiences so we don't forget them!

We spent a day at the lake with my sister-in-law and Robi's brother, and we had such a great time! Flannery got to "drive" the jet ski, and we were brave enough to go for a ride on the sea biscuit. Robi's brother pulled us and was very gentle, and Flannery was so funny--she kept yelling, "Faster, Uncle Chris!" (I was thinking just the opposite!)

Flannery's also gotten pretty brave at trying her hand at swimming this summer. She's been swimming really independently with water wings, and has been brave enough to put her face under water a few times. She's so proud of herself and her newfound comfort in the water!

We also went to Stone Mountain (where Robi and I got engaged 13 years ago!) with a big bunch of friends and family, and the girls got to run around and hear music and play with glow-sticks together. Such fun to have all these cousins around!

Anytime we're outside together as a family, it's just automatically a pretty happy experience. We can't wait for the weather to cool off so we can start thinking about camping!

What outdoor experiences bring you and your friends/family together?

Why "Gallery" is Now Part of our Everyday Vocabulary

2011-08-29T20:33:00.000-04:00

The girls watching Dana at work.

Last weekend, my friend Dana invited us to meet her for lunch in Atlanta while she was in town visiting a gallery where her work is shown. I was thrilled to take the girls to see some great art, but I didn't realize how much of an impact that quick little visit would have.

Now, it seems that every time Flannery creates a painting, she asks if I can hang it in a gallery, not just on the fridge. I keep telling her that you have to get invited to hang your work in a gallery, but she just doesn't seem satisfied with that explanation. I think I may have to break down and call some galleries to see if there are any who host kids' exhibits. :)

Of course their favorite was the bulldog! Or should I say bulldawg?

back at home painting some windchimes

What piece of art inspires you most?

I finally learned how to spell Winnona, and other things that make me feel at home

2011-08-25T22:57:00.000-04:00

Flanna at ~~Wynona~~ Winnona Park -- Isn't she just the cutest tiny thing?

We've been in our new digs for almost a month now, and I only recently learned how to spell the name of our neighborhood. I'd been writing Wynona Park. Then I saw the street sign, the school sign, and the way one of my friends spelled Wynona on Facebook. Apparently it's not Wynona, but Winnona Park.

And this morning, I took Flannery to school (GPS-free!) using a shortcut that shaved 2 minutes off of our little commute, and I didn't get lost on the way!

Then, last week, we walked to the park a few times and met some neat neighbors and their dogs and kids, and watched a few community soccer games.

And yesterday, I was able to come home on my lunch break and let my dogs out for a little sun-basking time while I ate healthy food on the back deck.

So little by little, this new life is becoming more homey.

The only thing left now is to unpack all our boxes! It's awful, but our work schedules have been so hectic these past few weeks that we've gotten nothing done on the house during the week, and even though we feverishly unpack each weekend ALL weekend, we still have boxes stacked in the living room. Sigh.

Baby steps.

But soon, very soon, I'm hoping to feel settled in, and then I promise I'll show off this sweet new little home.

What project are you trying to complete?

Flanna's First Day of School

2011-08-25T22:30:00.000-04:00

Flannery started school this month. We were soooo lucky that she got into a wonderful preK just minutes from home and my work, AND it's the one so many of my friends had recommended to me.

Flannery seems to like it. At her old montessori school, they called all of the toys and manipulatives "works," and so the other day when I asked her how her new school was different than her old montessori, she said,

"Well, this new school doesn't have any works...it's all just toys, and we don't do any work...we just play!"

A lot of parents would freak out at this news.

But I want her to love school and enjoy learning and not to think of school as work for as long as possible.

So, more power to the toys!

What do you remember enjoying about your preschool experience? I remember building with those large wooden blocks for hours on end, and cracking pecans on the back steps of the preschool during recess. Such peaceful little moments of learning.

I'm ba-ack!

2011-08-25T22:21:00.000-04:00

The Ragans now have internet! Hooray!

When we moved into our new place, we thought it would be a breeze to set up our new internet, but little did we know that we'd have to wait almost a month for a cable internet guy to set us up! We joked (constantly!) that we were living like cavemen all that time! Really, I can't believe how much I missed being able to read the wonderful blogs I love and share my little observations each day.

So, fill me in! What have I missed?

Cousins, Cousins, Everywhere

2011-07-27T20:39:00.000-04:00

Playing Wii with the boys

We've had such fun getting to spend time with our extended family these past few weeks. Flannery just loves all of her cousins. Even the big burly boy ones! (Who happen to be really sweet and gentle with her, actually!)

We had a game night last week with Robi's cousins, and a birthday party on Saturday with my cousins. Flannery's gotten to experience so many new things with all these cousins--from playing new Wii games, to making dominoes lines to knock down, to riding motor-powered little trikes, to having home-made ice cream. What a joy it is to have these fun times with our family.

static!

She figured out how to "drive" pretty quickly!

My cute hubby with the kids.

Happy birthday to Hailey!

Who did you spend endless hours with as a child? Isn't easy to be back with them again? This is the beauty of old friendships and family, I think--the ease with which we can just comfortably hang out together again.

Be Creative

2011-07-25T21:25:00.001-04:00

When I was sitting in the waiting room at the children's hospital last week convinced that Flannery had broken her arm, I told her all about casts, and how once you get a cast, it's really fun, because all your friends get to sign their name on it and decorate it. Flannery was excited about the possibility of getting a cast. She wanted a blue one, and she wanted to glue sparkles to it.

So when the doctor told us that the arm wasn't in fact broken, but was only sprained, my poor, sweet, Flannery seemed a little dejected. A little disappointed.

"I wanted a cast..." she whimpered in a tiny whisper to me.

So, I assured her that we could glue sparkles onto a sling. That we could decorate a sling. That we could sign our names on it if she wanted.

Which helped a bit.

The next day, we got out the sparkly fabric paint and some fancy gems. Because sometimes you just have to do something crafty to cheer up the sad girl with the non-broken arm. :)

Did you ever break a bone as a kid?

Uncle Chris is the Best Ever

2011-07-24T21:41:00.000-04:00

Uncle Chris got Flannery a Crayon Maker for Christmas last year, and we got it out the other day when we needed something creative to do.

First, the girls broke crayons into tiny pieces. Then, we placed them in a melting tray on the little Crayon Maker. A little light bulb heated the crayon bits, and then once they were melted, I poured the wax into the crayon molds to cool. It took about 30 minutes to make each set of crayons, and we really enjoyed it! The crayons we created color in rainbow streaks, which was neat.

We had used the Crayon Maker at Christmas, and when I pulled it out of the box, I noticed that "someone" had scraped "Uncle Chris is the best ever!!" in the waxy layer of melted crayons that remained in the melting tray. That Uncle Chris is a character.

This little activity could be done without a Crayon Maker, too. You could just put some tiny crayon bits into a muffin pan and heat it slowly in the oven until the wax melts completely, then pull it out of the oven and let the wax cool. You'd have some neat round flat crayons that could be fun, as well.

My favorite thing about the Crayon Maker was that it was a very natural way to introduce some science vocabulary to the girls. We talked about states of matter---solids, liquids, melting, heating, cooling, and that the light bulb was the heat source. By the time we made two batches of crayons, the girls were pointing out when the crayon bits shifted from solid to liquid and then when they cooled back into solids. Pretty exciting stuff!

The End Product

What science words do you try to work into your day to teach the kids in your life? I use the word "hypothesis" any time we're trying to guess something, and Flanna has really gotten the hang of using that one!

Our New Digs!

2011-07-23T08:39:00.000-04:00

I promised pics, and I finally had time to follow through on that! (That's because Flanna's sleeping late today--a small miracle!)

Annnnyway. Here's our cute new house!

I'm going to paint the bedrooms this weekend if all goes as planned! The lime green is cute but just doesn't match our stuff.

the master bedroom

Great tile, huh?

The living room

The kitchen.

I'm considering these all the "before" photos, and hopefully the "after" photos will be much more inviting! We move into the house in about a week or so. Those of you who live close by, please come visit!

What project are you starting? I love painting a room, how the results are so immediate and satisfying!

Experience Nature: The Amazing Bug Catchers

2011-07-23T08:13:00.000-04:00

the tiniest lizard ever!

Flanna's Grammie got her a bug box in the spring, and she has just fallen in love with bugs since then! Her favorites are roley poleys (sp?). She found a tiny lizard on the back porch the other day, and she kept it in her bug catcher for a few hours before we released it. She even caught a little bug to feed to the lizard all on her own!

Then, on Wednesday, the girls caught a butterfly. They made it a nice little habitat with flowers and leaves and kept it for about 30 minutes so they could observe it a bit. They were so gentle and careful with the butterfly, and I was really proud of their empathy toward it.

When we're all feeling grumpy and stressed and tired and grouchy, just going outside can really lift our mood. But going outside AND interacting with tiny creatures--now that just makes us plain giddy.

the butterfly in its cozy habitat

searching for bugs

on a mission to find nice bugs

Poor Flanna - this was the day after she sprained her arm, and it still hurt anytime it moved.

How are you going to experience nature this weekend?

Tiny Dancers: Share a Family Tradition

2011-07-23T08:02:00.000-04:00

Flanna and her cousin participated in a ballet camp last week, and they had a mini-recital yesterday. Robi and I had to work, but Flanna's Grammie and my sister went and took pics for us. Warning: there are serious amounts of adorability to follow!

My sister and I took dance together as kids for many, many years, and I remember summer dance camps as being really wonderful experiences. It was so nice to get to pass that experience down to our girls, and especially neat that they could be in the same class for the camp. Yet another perk of living near the fam! I've found in doing my happiness project that sharing and creating family traditions brings me real joy, and I hope dance camp can become a regular part of the girls' summers from now on.

This one's my favorite!

What traditions do you want to pass on to another generation?

Functional Writing Activities for Preschoolers

2011-07-22T09:56:00.001-04:00

The more I read about the development of oral and written language, the more I am convinced that there must be a function, or a use, for all of our learning activities with children. Some way to tie the activity to real life so that it's meaningful for children and motivating for them to participate with us.

Before we moved from Durham, I had a few things to finish up at work, and I brought Flannery with me to the office. I was bustling around making copies, filing documents, and checking off my to-do list, and talking through my list with Flannery, when she asked if she could make me a to-do list. I grabbed a pen and a post-it for her, and here's what she wrote for me, all on her own.

It was such a meaningful activity, tied to what was happening in our life. Her writing had a function and really meant something to her. That's what early writing activities should be like. Not worksheets focused on letter formation. There's a time and a place for handwriting practice, but we're just going to turn our preschoolers off to writing if we focus too much on form rather than meaning at this age.

Another neat activity Flannery did was to create her own scavenger hunt for us. We came home from work one day, and her Grammie said that she had created a scavenger hunt for us to follow. Here are the clues she left for us.

The scavenger hunt activity was incredibly motivating for her, and she's returned to it several times since. It's so exciting to see her invented spelling taking shape, and the beginning of little sentences. She also helps me make lists for grocery shopping, appointment reminders, and wish lists for her birthday (yes, already, even though it's not for 4 more months!). I love that she's already using little transition words like "then," "when," and "now," and how complex her little sentences are.

Follow the squares

When you see mom's room go in there.

Now turn to the hall way

Now you have to go to Flannery's room

Now go to my bed.

Now go to my shelf.

Now go to the closet.

Take it out then find this. (We found a treasure box with necklaces and gemstones!)

How have you supported children's written language development?

Oh my, what a busy summer!

2011-07-22T09:23:00.000-04:00

Oh, my!

Things have been so busy this summer since we moved!

My work has been wonderful and really exciting! I'm helping to set up a model birth to three childcare program that floods the babies' days with language and literacy experiences. We've been hiring teachers and assistants (still interviewing if any of you need a fun job working with infants/toddlers!), creating a two-week institute to train our teachers in language and literacy, organizing class lists, planning orientations, ordering neat materials and books for our classrooms, and just generally doing all that is needed to prepare for opening an ideal infant/toddler program. It's really exciting work, because our end goal is to prepare our little students to be on a path to "read to learn" by third grade.

Also, we've found a home! A cute two story "yellow house" as Flannery calls it. It's walking distance to a park and a few restaurants, and it has a huge fenced yard. The dogs and Flanna will be thrilled! We picked out paint colors last weekend and hope to paint the bedrooms this weekend so we can be ready to move in by the first of the month.

We've also had some craziness. Poor Flanna sprained her left arm on Wednesday and has to wear a sling for about a week. She's being very brave, but it really hurts her. I was convinced that it was broken, but the radiologist who read her X-rays said no. Thank goodness! Robi really didn't feel well a few weekends ago, too, and we took him to the hospital concerned about a possible heart palpitation or something. All the tests came back fine, and now we're thinking it might've just been GERD, but it was really scary in the moment.

The thing that has really kept me from blogging, though, is our awful commute each day. Luckily, Robi and I can carpool, but it's really rough to have to be in the car for at least 3 hours a day going back and forth to work. I can't wait 'til we move! I hate to move further from our families, but our commute will be so short once we're in our new home, and those extra two hours a day will make such a difference in our stress level!

Anyway. Amidst the busy commutes and scary hospital visits, we have gotten to have a bit of fun, and we've really been enjoying being with our extended family so often. We've gotten to spend time with our friends and family at birthday parties, dinners out, cookouts, and little spontaneous visits here and there. Flanna has been doing ballet camp (or at least she was before she sprained her arm) with her cousin, and we've had sleepovers every weekend. My mom has been visiting here and there, and my dad's making the trip with her soon. This coming weekend, we have a game night planned and a birthday party with some cousins, and it's just so nice for us to feel such a part of the day-to-day life of our extended families. It's a real blessing, and I'm so thankful to be "home" now.

I'm not sure how often I'll be able to blog before we move, but I promise I'll be back to regular posts as soon as I get settled in at our new home! (I also promise to post photos of the new place as soon as I can!)

What have you been busy with this summer?

Our friend Finn's birthday party!

The birthday boy!

Experience Nature

2011-07-08T20:05:00.001-04:00

I had the sweetest little moment this evening.

After work, Flanna and I had dropped by my friend's house (where we're keeping all of our boxes and furniture until we find our place) to pick up a princess dress from among our packed boxes. (Apparently I was severely mistaken to think that Flanna could go 6 weeks without her princess dresses.)

Annnyway, we thought we'd check to see if the horses were around so we could see them and pet them a bit. (There's a barn with 2 horses behind the house.) We called to the horses with our clicky little noises, and both horses--one dark brown, one light brown (am I revealing how little I know about horses?)-- came eagerly to the fence. I wasn't sure how calm or gentle they were, so I pet them a bit at first to see if they were gentle enough for Flannery. And, oh, my! They were so calm and sweet!

Flannery pet the light brown horse for so long that the horse actually closed her eyes, lay her head atop the fence, and seemed to be falling asleep while we were petting her. It was such a peaceful moment of connection, and just a completely different world from the traffic and craziness of earlier that day. I think Flannery and I both breathed more deeply.

Time spent in nature is restorative. Is beautiful. Is good for us. Is a real gift.

And I'm thankful for it.

How can you experience nature this weekend?

Oh, by the way, if you want to see some adorable pictures, just google "horse nose." Who knew horse noses were so photogenic?

Reminisce

2011-07-07T20:32:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, we spent a gorgeous 4th of July weekend at the beach with my parents, my sister, my niece, and our little family. It was such a nice time together as an extended family, and it brought back so many memories of other times spent together there at the beach.

For instance, when Flannery was about 2, we visited the beach with my family, and sitting around the breakfast table, we mentioned that we were going to head to the beach later. We weren't even sure that Flannery was paying attention to the conversation, but she perked up when she heard that, closed her hands into excited little fists, and squealed, "The beeeeeeach!"

Now, every time we're at the beach, we remember that cute moment. My niece brought it up in the car on our ride down to the ocean, and we all couldn't help but laugh.

Those little family "inside" jokes help us feel connected. And reminiscing helps, too.

We spent some time reminiscing during our long drive. We found a few old home videos stashed in our DVD wallet, and the girls watched them on the car DVD. They were so sweet in their carseats in the back seat-- cracking up, holding hands, smiling, and just generally bonding over those adorable little videos from years past.

Reminisce.

It's easy to do in some settings (like being back home where I grew up!, or on vacation at our favorite beach!), and it really does give me a little happiness boost.

What happy memories can you call to mind to lift your spirits this summer?

Poppa's Birthday

2011-07-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

We celebrated Robi's dad's birthday by taking him out for dinner.

Oh, and there was a crown. A birthday crown.

Handmade by Flannery. And proudly worn by Poppa.

In public.

Now that's love.

Who do you love so much that you're willing to be embarrassed for their sake?

Be Creative

2011-06-29T19:57:00.000-04:00

Flannery was trying to string some beads onto a thread yesterday, so I looked and looked for our little plastic "jewelry-making" needles, but I just couldn't find them. (Of course, I found them today in a little container in her pajama drawer. This is how crazy it gets when we're traveling!)

Anyway, I had to improvise. So I wrapped tape around and around the thread until the tape created a flexible little needle to sew with.

Flannery fashioned a gorgeous necklace for....

who else?! The dog, Annie!

I'm not sure Annie loved it, but she did look elegant.

How have you solved problems creatively this week?